Do you have any idea how bad traffic was!?

She lives half a mile away, and walks.

You caught me good sir.
Another note, she's a bitch. Fire her.

In fairness, I was exaggerating; she got here at 3, not 3:45.
She is, however, leaving at 4.

That is unacceptable. And is she the boss?

Well... no... and yes...
She's not my direct boss, but she outranks me.

I am sorry. Just watch the movie horrible bosses

She encountered a small pagan child on the street suffering of the rot. Overwhelmed with sudden compassion, she immediately gathered about her a crowd of passers-by and handed out the 3x5 cards she always keep with her. Cueing up the music on her iPhone, she bluetoothed those assembled with their pop-up speakers, and thus the musical began...

....though he passed away at approximately 2:43 PM, the small child, who's only dream in life was to star on Broadway, left this cruel world with a smile on his face.

Your co-worker is indeed a Saint...

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/686/Deal_with_it_dog_gif.gif

If this co-worker encountered a suffering child, she would delicately cover her nose with a frilly lace hankie and say something like, "merciful heavens! I do declare! I have the vapors!" as she crossed to the other side of the street.

^That is infinitely more disturbing than being a few hours late and having a martini

Necks needs group therapy. Share your feelings. We don't judge

I believe your anti-Southern bigotry is raising it's ugly head. You need therapy. May I be of assistance?

I'm taking a great deal of schadenfreude in the fact that the other project she was supposed to work on seems to have completely fallen apart while she wasn't here. I hope she ends up having to pull an all-nighter or something.

That's a good step. Does she remind you of a family member?

@Krellin,
Not anti-southern. She's mid-Atlantic. But she's a Victorian arts scholar, and her mannerisms are also very Victorian. She's easily shocked.

"Victorian arts scholar"

....and I'm the Pope...

No, really. She's actually pretty well-recognized nationally. It's one of the reasons I have to take this rant to the internet instead of saying it in real life. She's well-respected.

Awwww...that's so cute when hecks defends his evil co-worker. lol

In fairness, anti-southern bigotry is the best kind of bigotry.

I'm not defending her! I'm saying she's powerful. She's like... the Lord Sauron to my Frodo.

Your "Frodo"? Is that what you call it? I call it "My Little Winky" and my wife titters and blushes...

Museum work needs more dick jokes.

So a dick and vulva walk in to a bar. Vulva says, "Cum here often?"

And I *Just* made that up for you...

Dear Hecks,

Time is uch a bourgeois construction, clocks were invented solely to give work-a-day wage slaves something to look at and moan about. So I stopped to smell the flowers, so I got caught up in a conversation with an old friend, sue me. Did we really say midday? I thought we agreed I could hit a toy store and then roll in when I felt like it, we really should not make such ambitious plans like midday.

In a decade from now, or maybe next month or even tomorrow, we would have forgotten what the crucially imperative urgent matter that had to be attended to today was all about. One day, perhaps soon, our bosses boss whom we will never know will make us redundant, although I'm not really sure what it is we do anyway. When he does you'll wish you stopped to smell the flowers and catch up with that old friend.

Tonight I will sleep happy.

No one ever died wishing they worked harder.

Yours

Belle

PS you look sexy in that beard xx

@Maniac,
Spot on, except you didn't really capture the air of superiority or the utter contempt for... well... everything.

When she *is* at work, does she actually work or spend all day debating trolls on an internet video game forum?

@Mapu,
No. That's part of *my* job description.

Yeah, whatever...

Is it passive aggressive when the person never sees it or just passive. And you should have set a time

OMG drama in Cubicle-land.

"Is it passive aggressive when the person never sees it or just passive. And you should have set a time"

qft, question and comment