The wedding of Euthylus, son of Hachemmon, and Ilytia the fair maiden, daughter of a sea-nymph, was full of great celebration. Many beautiful gods and goddesses were invited, as well as many great mortals, thus the gifts were extraordinary. It was full of feasting and joyous celebration. The brave and cunning Yultius soon took to making games for people to enjoy. Playing jokes and laughing made the wedding quite jovial and the attention spent on the bride soon turned towards the guests’ own pleasures. In their merriment, the telling of stories grew to a common form of entertainment. The brave and cunning one made a competition of telling the best story, a competition which he had nearly won until a mortal shouted to the mighty king Machium, “If you can recall for us, mighty king Machium, tell us the story of how you ventured with Puglius many years ago. Educate us in the plights which you suffered and how you were able to smite the wicked Wooliuves during your affair with the Caustram.”
The mighty one, not seeing how he could refuse without displeasing the crowd, turned to them and jested “Perhaps that is quite the story that would challenge cunning Yultius into fearing competition in his games.” At this, brave and cunning Yultius scoffed and gave a look of displeasure, but the mighty one was able to win the attention of Hera at the announcement of his storytelling. Eager to hear him speak, for she knew little of the story, she shouted “Well then, mighty Machium, what occurred on this perilous journey of yours? Do you not speak handsomely enough for it to be a greater story than what even the brave Yultius can conjure about? Surely you must have some intriguing narrative to portray!”
To Hera’s remark, the mighty Machium replied, “Of course then, if you will listen to me on this fine occasion, then I shall speak. For this tale is a tale worth hearing even without the competition arising. I am no bard, but you, minstrel! Play me a tune and I will try to sing as eloquently as I can. For I have desperately searched for a way to shame the brave and cunning Yultius for a great deal of time now.” And with this, he began the magnificent story of how he assisted Puglius during his travels in Avalia.
“It was perhaps, an unprecedented situation which I found myself in shortly after the Grouthian War. After the plundering and sieging had been finished, I began travelling from the ruins of Finus to my home, in Avalia. My troubles had been fierce enough, my entire life being devoted to war, but now my king had discharged me for my service. And my troubles were far from over; otherwise it would be hardly that grand of a story.
“On my way home, I decided to take a drink at the nearest tavern, for they had served fine ales there. In the midst of my drinking, I happened to hear a tale which forced from me my full attention. A man claimed that the great god Dionysus, in his drunkenness, gave the intelligence of man to a large herd of pigs and gave them the name ‘Caustram’. According to the storyteller Ares-mostly as a joke, but to some degree in order to satisfy his lust for war-in turn gave the intelligence and lustfulness of men to a forest of wolves. The man continued, raving about his home being burned by the pigs, so that the pigs could build a mighty castle on his land. He was unable to harm the pigs because Demeter, holding pigs as sacred, gave them strength.
“I was full of disbelief and pondered the very idea of it. The other drinkers in the tavern began thrusting mugs at the storytellers face and began to make fun of his tale. The man attempted to defend himself, while the bartender tried to calm down the drunken crowd. All rowdiness and dubiousness ceased, when a short, stout pig of about four feet in height, finely dressed, walking on its hind legs, and talking like a proper gentleman walked into the tavern and ordered a glass of wine. He looked like an astute gentleman who had recently heard some terrible news but had to now conceal his anguish in order to save face. Not one to forget that he has an appointment that he must make, but still seeming jovial and youthful at times. Of his true personality, I knew nothing, only the persona that he displayed if he were a man. He looked with disgust at the bewildered crowd of men who stared at him astonishingly. The storyteller, who began reaching for his blade, had a cross look in his eyes and I knew what was soon to become of the prominent pig. But the pig was able to dodge the blow and retreat to a trio of well-armed swine who now entered the tavern. The four pigs now withdrew their weapons and a brawl began between the storyteller and some others who inhabited the tavern. After the fight, it appeared that six lay dead including the storyteller and two of the warrior pigs-the other heavily wounded. The prominent pig looked at me and mused, as I was the only one who had not interfered in the affair.
“‘What is your name, you who do not wish to intervene?’ He asked me.
“‘I am Machium of Avalia, once a mighty warrior, now I only wish to start a family.’ I replied as truthfully as I could.
“‘Speak now,’ the prominent pig said. ‘Are you a friend to the Caustram, or a new found enemy?’
“‘I am neither, if that is fair game.’
“‘As long as you will not stand in my way. For I am Puglius, proud king of Cauneo. My brothers, Echtina and Xertius rule the lesser parts of Causilia as kings to my people. Heed these names and do not offend them lest you decide you are greater than I.’
“As promptly as he had entered, he had left. I was left to finish my beverage and then continued on my way home. My hopes for a new life were soon to be crushed, however, as I soon discovered that my home city had been sacked by the wolves and my promised farmland lay in ashes. I felt as a mother must feel when she has the overwhelming joy of having a child, but must persevere through much pain to reach her goal, only to find that her baby would be stillborn. My mind raced with thoughts of anger, distress, and confusion. I looked all around and saw only ruins. To be neutral now would be impossible, though I knew it would be the better course.
“‘Lend me the strength to endure oh mighty gods! Let me destroy those who do harm against me!’ I shouted to the skies. And with a flash, a friend of reason appeared to me in gold sandals. I was taken back and bowed before her, not knowing whether she came to aid me in war or to assist me in repressing my anger. This friend of reason lifted my head and spoke softly into my ears. I heard her whispering a lullaby to soothe my spirit. I then asked her ‘Why do you bother me if you did not come to aid me in battle. If you are some goddess then surely you would know that I shall take up the sword at any opportunity. I do not wish to be comforted, vengeance is what I seek. You are a friend to reason, so tell me what reason comes from your journey if there will be no end result?’
“At this, she grew angry and struck me down, saying ‘My task is as you say it is, however, I am not foolish in my task. I knew that you would be too stubborn to not intervene. So I have come here to arm you and provide transport to the castle of Puglius. I am Athena, a friend to reason, why then do you think that I do not know your position? You are the fool, as you lack understanding in the gods’ affairs. Just as Dionysus and Ares are fools for giving animals the minds of men. The burning of your town has their lack of sound mind to blame.’
“Then she threw a sword and a shield to the ground and ran off into the distance. I got up and withdrew a horse from the ruined stable. I took up my weapons and found a suit of armor within the rubble. I then rode off, Athena giving me sense of direction, until I came to the castle in Causitia. It lay destroyed, and out of it crawled a tall, scrawny pig who spoke with a very harsh voice, ‘I am Echtina, brother of prominent Puglius. I built this castle in a claim to the land, but was a fool, for I did not use very strong stone and put few supporting columns at its base. And thus, when the wicked Wooliuves and his mighty army came, they were able to blow it down, for they had the strength of Ares in their breath.’ With these words he died, so I pressed onward, again guided by the friend of reason, to the castle in Causinia.
“When I arrived, there was a great battle going on between the wolves and the pigs. The wolves having the might of Ares, the pigs being as bold as Dionysus; both fighting with all their strength. And so it became a stalemate, until I, mighty Machium had arrived. I fought violently and slew many of wicked Wooliuves’ soldiers. But I was unable to stop them, for there were many cracks and holes in the foundation of the castle and with one mighty breath of Ares, the wolves blew the castle to the ground. Beneath the rubble, I saw brawny Xertius along with many of his comrades lay slain. The battle was like a tragedy, there was a magnificent beginning, where those preparing to fight would sing in merriment and act as if life were normal, the following scene contained the traumatic event, when hundreds lay slain about the fields, with a great climactic ending, having the castle destroyed and the leader slain, the lesson learned and the staging at an end. But I needed to be victorious. Knowing that the wicked Wooliuves would soon attack Puglius, I retreated to my horse and continued to ride until I reached the realm of Cauneo.
“It was there that the great castle of prominent Puglius stood and I met him with the terrible news. He understood that his brothers were foolish and built their castles in only a few days, but he had used stone forged by the great god Hephaestus and Puglius was certain that it would not fall. The army of wicked Wooliuves arrived not long after I had, and it was heard that another great battle was to begin. I was sent as a guard to the ambassadors of Puglius and was made to guard them as well as I could. I took my magnificent sword in hand a full body of armor. My presence was vain though, for the wolves commanded that no weapon came near their master’s head. Thus I was forced to wait outside, while the ambassadors entered the head camp. I felt as though I were a surgeon, standing by as the doctor performed his delicate incisions on a patient already doomed to die. I knew that the doctor was failing, all I could do is stand by while the operation grew in intensity and slowly faded away. Here I stood as the first ambassador’s head fell to the ground. The other two guards and I ran in to the tent, only to be ambushed as twenty archers stood at the entrance, letting down their furious barrage. One shot into my knee and pierced to the bone, another struck deep into my armor, only scratching at my chest. The others fell, but I pressed on. I claimed nearly seventy of their warriors before the pain of the arrow began to settle in. I fell to the ground and was captured.
“During the raid on the prominent one’s castle, very few guards remained to guard me. I easily broke my bonds and slew the remaining guards. I did not get far, however, for my knee grew far too excruciating for me to venture on to the battle field. I desperately cried out to the gods and Athena responded. She came down to me in the form of a mighty warrior and healed my wound with the touch of her hand. I followed the friend of reason to the battlefield and fought violently by her side. I slew too many of the beasts to count and my valor was challenged by not one. My hopes were dashed however, when I saw the wolves call on Ares to again allow them to blow the castle to the ground. Three times they tried, but the castle still remained. With the first attempt, they struggled to even shake the doorpost. They caught their breaths and tried again. This time, they grew disheartened and began to lose hope. The final attempt gave me much joy, as many of the attackers grew faint and weary from their heavy breathing. They continued to become distraught when prominent Puglius rode out to the battle field and slew their captain. As the wicked Wooliuves lay dead, the wolves began their retreat. But Athena put in the minds of all men a glorious battle plan, with it, we routed the army of wolves.
“But the celebration was not to last, for Athena cried out to her father, ‘Zeus, king of the gods, you surely have more wisdom than any other! Remove the foolish deeds of Dionysus and Ares from these lands. Make what was done erased, remove these things from the Earth and relive these lands of their destruction!’
“With this, Zeus let out a hearty laugh, ‘my humble daughter, surely you could have handled this on your own. But truly these two have caused more trouble than they are worth. I now curse Ares and Dionysus, may they have troubled times for a hundred years. Now, the actions with which they have wrought this world be undone.’ And with a great flash and a magnificent burst of lightning, all of the wolves who were made like men returned to their normal form. Likewise, the pigs were changed in the same manner, save Puglius who was made a man by my request. Zeus then spoke to me, ‘Mighty Machium, you have fought bravely, have you not? These lands are now deprived of a ruler and you seem to know them the best. For they are like a farm, the farmer has gone off to war, so the animals have run off and the crops all withered. But now there is a good farmer, he will take care of the land until the animals are gathered back and the seeds have been re-sown. Machium, you are worthy of these lands, and thus I pronounce you king of Avalia.”
When he had finished his story, there was great rejoicing because the brave and cunning Yultius had finally been outdone. Hera gave Machium a crown of golden laurels and an ornate sword with a silver hilt. Later, the wedding party was dispersed and each went about to his own affairs, but the story of mighty Machium was not soon forgotten.