@Draug,
"They were more than statements made by those state government's, they were assertions of what was once a practice into a pricipal, forever dashing the hopes of the affected class in those states of ever getting to marry and, in some casses, even seeing their relationship recognized and validated by their state legislature as legitimate."
How did it "forever dash" anything? If you lived in a state where there was no gay marriage, and there were enough people in the legislature to pass one of these laws in the first place, chances are you were not going to get gay marriage passed that session anyway. But guess how hard it is to overturn one of these laws? (The legislature enacted ones, that is). Exactly as hard as it would have been to pass gay marriage in the first place if a sufficient majority had ever been attained! So I have a hard time seeing how anything was lost politically. Certainly nothing was "forever dashed."
Now, the constitutional amendments are a little different, obviously, as those are harder to remove. Indeed, my argument about "just making a statement" just fails here -- I should have been more careful.
I still have a hard time seeing it as a constitutional violation, however.
"In many cases, thos elaws forced insurers and others to deny benefits that they might have gotten by simply going to another state to get married. [etc.]"
Yes, that's true. I think part of the problem here is that, most unusually, this issue concerns the definition of a word. States that used to recognize each others' marriages no problem suddenly feel that other states have redefined a word to something they never even considered making it, and put the clamps down to stop it; and the hapless Supreme Court will end up getting to decide whether a state can be made to call a particular thing a particular word. At least that's one perspective. It's certainly true, anyway, that this issue, more than any I can think of, circles around the official usage of a legal (and non-legal, of course) word.
Anyway -- to those states that passed laws derecognizing gay marriage, their argument of course will be that they never intended to let other states dramatically redefine their law by redefining a word, and they were taking steps to prevent such. What the Court will do with that, I have no idea. Since -- again -- it just sets their law back to status quo ante, which was not set up with oppression in mind, I don't think there's a clear argument that it is oppression of an insular minority.