Nothing existed until about 6000 years, then God invented himself.
Then he made the Universe.and the Earth. You have to question why he invented certain shit like quick sand, black holes and Sunny Delight.
For shits and giggles he made humans..... they turned out to be great, especially women with nice breasts and holes in all the right places.
He stuck strange fossils in rocks to confuse smart arses in the future.
He invented geology and physics and astronomy and never realised that might back and bite his bum at some stage.
Then he had a son who came down to Earth and upset the locals so they got real cross with him. He didn't last long but promised he'd pop back and save 200,000 people, they were in raptures, then he fucked off and left outstanding bills.
Because he knew they would be persecuted God gave black guys bigger willies and gay guys nice bums, he did fuck all for gingers though.
Some people think that if he hadn't been so fucking lazy on the Sunday he might have done some snagging and fixed all the imperfections, like wasps, whitebait and pilates.
The biggest faux pas by far must have been pretending his son Jesus was a white Jew rather than a black Arab, if only he could have known what trouble his little joke would cause going forward, if he was on Webdip he would be have been told in no uncertain terms "God, you're not funny"
And that's a fact.....
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