1. I am NOT going to commit suicide over this--for fuck's sake.
2. I am NOT ashamed to admit to being pissed the fuck off and miserable after my team was one play away from a Super Bowl win tonight/today...if I'm still torn up about it in a week, yeah, that's being a bit unusual and you need to get over that, but I daresay most of you are probably a bit bummed for a few hours or a day after your team comes THAT close to winning it all and fails...rather a common thing, really...
3. As for the rest, yeah, I'm pissed off about other things in life, like the fact I can't get a job no matter what I do and so really as much as I love English and literature and the language with a passion the whole thing is a waste of time if you can't get a job and contribute to society (rather like the whole game's a waste if you don't win it, the folks who say "It isn't whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game" are often the folks who A. Lose the game and in any case B. No one ever said "It isn't whether you get that job or not, it's how many English midterms you aced) and if I WERE allowed to actually tutor or grade for someone I'd have to mark this whole section up with red ink for being a terrible run-on so I'll end it there.
4. Anyone who wants to say being pissed off or unhappy or concerned about not being able to get a job despite trying and trying (not to mention needing health insurance) I DARE YOU to say so...go ahead, say that's not a legitimate thing to drag down your spirits just a bit...to say nothing of trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life while trying to get a job while trying to figure out how I'm ever going to move out of the backwater section of LA County I live in to wondering if someone you know committed suicide despite your best rationalized efforts long-distance to stop them (despite THEIR best efforts said person is still alive, they get to add "attempted hanging in a hospital via bed sheets" to a list of seven other previously-failed attempts, meaning they're either incompetent at killing themselves, don't want to but are desperately mixed up, or, likely, both) and so on.
BUT...
That's life.
Shit happens.
That's fine.
I don't expect it to be otherwise.
That also doesn't mean that my being morose or miserable from time to time is cause to be an ass about it like that's a sin against humanity...it's quite as bad as putting that damned question "Would you say you're happy most of the time?" on a questionnaire for an interview, as if unhappiness were a disease to be rooted out and economic and social pressure placed one everyone to smile and pretend to be happy to avoid confrontation with actual emotional or social problems people are having should be applauded and kept up rather than decried for the false (and destructive) charade that they are.
Yeah, I'm in a bad mood.
All of that, and I hoped the Niners winning would be a bit of a morale boost.
They lost, and I lose out on jobs.
Life goes on.
Doesn't mean I have to like it...
Doesn't mean I have to put on a happy face or suppress the fact I'm unhappy...
That being said, doesn't mean it's the end of the world and that's life and life IS inherently painful so wear a helmet, and I still average out on the better end of the bell curve than most humans...
So my lack of a happy face or demeanor isn't reason to call me out or assume just because I'm unhappy I MUST be suicidal or in peril or a danger or whatever else.
It's not as if I have (or would want) a girlfriend or significant other who will suffer emotionally by my being unhappy and thus create a net negative...
So let me simmer and don't treat a single pissed off post as if it were a suicide note.
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