the russian czar will gladly support his famous and gallant austrian counterpart in the supression of the balkans on the sole condition that the people of rumania come under the russian heel, they grossly over estimated the cost of my palace extension and wish to punish them for their greedyness, also the czar would like to ask if he may if he wants to take a walk throught the peacful countryside of galica without his afternoon nap being disturbed by the wonderful sound of the marching austrian armies

The Sultan salutes the Czar and the Emperor's desire to end conflict in the Balkans. Accordingly, our forces will be moving into Bulgaria to restore order. The Sultan acknowledges the Czar's claim on Rumania, and asks that he acknowledges our interests in Bulgaria

Her Majesty sends greetings to the German Kaiser and asks if he would mind terribly her holidaying in Belgium. She does so like their waffles and it seems she's got it in her head to have some.

the Czar will glady recognise the sultans claim on bulgaria he would also like to say that he has been thinking about the Sultans offer to review fleets in the black sea, and was thinking that in these troubled times the fleets would be of better use in other places, like to show those ungrateful rumanians to keep there noise down it has alos come to the czars attention that the citzens of constantinople would love to see the fine ships of their glorious sultan

The Sultan sends his greetings to the fair lands of Italia. He indeed has been impressed with the tenacity with which they hold their alliances, and offers the hand of friendship. While our ancestors may have squabbled, we are modern men, and hence can see that conflict between us costs many lives but is ultimately futile. Instead, we should band together against our foes - whoever they may be.

Can i just remind her most glorious majesty that it is hard to move all the vodka which we will need to to lubricate the blonde head vixens with out english support

Dear czar,

You must certainly understand that the Empire cannot allow any movement through her rightful territory. The lands of Galicia have been part of the Great Empire of Austria since 1792. Besides, while we trust your forces to be able to quell the stirrings of Transsylvanian thugs, the state and dicipline of those forces is known to be somewhat... uncontrollable. We want to guarantee the safety of our citizens from stealing and raping rabble.

To Sultan Stratagos, we will allow your forces control over the Bulgarian region. However, history reminds us of Ottoman oppression. We will need guarantees of good treatment of the people in question. We demand the right to protect christian citizens in Serbia and Greece. They have been freed rom muslim rule a long time ago and the Austrian Empirium would like to see it remains the same.

the czar is very troubled by the austrian emperors suggestion that the brave russian troops are not well diciplined soldiers, there will be no raping and pillaging from my troops as i said it would just be a nice march through the beautiful area of galicia, if the austrian continues to insult russian troops supplies of vodka will not be shipped to the austrian cities

We see justice in the request of the Austrian Empire for control of Serbia, although we note with disquiet the implication that we mistreat our citizens. The Ottoman Empire has a tradition of caring for our people that can be matched by few nations, and we will treat the population of Bulgaria as the citizens they are.

Although we are gratified the Emperor is willing to "permit" us to care for these disordered lands, we must note that these territories do not belong to him, and the Dual Monarchy has never held sway there. Indeed, Italy has a far stronger claim to Greece than the Ottomans *or* the Austrians, and the Sultan would be willing to accept Italian peacekeepers in that territory to reduce tensions in the region.

Regarding the Czar's request that we postpone fleet maneuvers in light of the current tension in the region, we agree. Our fleet will move to Constantinople for refitting, which will allow yours to help integrate Rumania into the mighty Russian Empire.

The Italian Foriegn Minister is planning a visit to a distant cousin in the copious region of Tyrolia. There he will enjoy the lush country villas and do some hiking on the lower slopes of the alps.

By the way the Foreign minister is Tittoni :)

(copious? That doesn't make sense in context)

Dear Czar,

The Empire suggests your ofcourse fairly diciplined soldiers take a march through the fine countryside of Ukraine. Our home defense will be training in the countyside of Galicia so you might come and visit for some combat training.

Dear Sultan,

my apologies if I haven't been clear. Ofcourse we trust your government to maintain justice in Bulgaria. Please not be tempted to oppress Bulgarian rebels - you two peoples share a violent history. Regarding Greece, their distaste for Turkish forces is well known and hard to control. It is therefore better that a neutral power caresses this area, protecting citizens from rebel thugs and communists. However, we will obey to the Apostolic See.

The President of the Third Republic, honourary safe-guarder of French fortunes, is gratified to see that, though they may deprive them of all sovereignty, the Eastern powers will at least treat the Slavic people`s nicely and with imperial justice.

As for the unmentioned west,

We doubly affirm our committment to peace with the proud and vivacious Italian in hopes that they may pursue fruitful prospects in the rough seas of the eastern mediterranean. Is it fair for us both to hope the mountains of Piedmont should never be troubled by awful cacphony of soldiers marching?

The people of France also hope that they can broker similar agreements with the mighty northern European Nations of Great Britain and Germany. If either or both of these powers is willing to allow the French Army into Belgium, we will be thier loyal friend.

Why you ask, do the French deserve Belgium? The answer is quite simple. For hundreds of years, there has been a horrible injustice in the land of Belgium. The French speaking population of Walloonia has long been opressed first by the Dutch from Amsterdam, and with the creation of Belgium, by thier wicked counterparts in Flanders.
We feel it is our duty as Frenchmen to rescue these proud but downtrodden Walloons from the snarky Flemish overlords.

The government of France, if this demand is met, would be therefore willing to avoid mobilizing forces in either or both the English Channel and Belgium. Furthermore, we would recognize Anglo-British rule in Holland, the source of Walloonia`s anguish.

We hope to hear back from our valiant neighbours.

Pleasant words have reached King Emanuel's ears about the appetizing olives on the Greek Isles. Rumors have it that he has dispatched his Marine Minister Mirabello to make at once to those fair isles to exchange pizza for olives.

Political Spies say this is only a ploy and the real reason for the trip is to solicit an alliance with the Sultan or the Austrian people.

The President of France would like to make a small correction. When we mentioned Anglo-British rule in Holland, we meant to say Anglo-German.

We apologize for the Freudian slip. The English and Germans are very similar people and the French occassionally have trouble telling them apart.

Dear neighbour,

we know our homeland Tyrolia (what a wonderful name it is) is sooting for body and mind. Our own Emperor retires there often to be away from daily business and te troubles in the world. But knowing your foreign minister requires an escort and attendance we like to offer this ourselves. We'd rather not have Italian forces or any foreign power cross our borders at this moment. Maybe next year. So we'd like to advise your minister to seek consolation in Switzerland or retrieve himself of a large escort only to be welcomed by genuine Austrian hospitability.

Emperor,
Your constant references to "oppression" sadden us, as they appear to be an attempt to lay the groundwork for offensive actions against the great Ottoman Empire. The Sultan strongly urges you to consider your words more carefully, as it can cause one to wonder if the person who sees "oppression" and "uncontrollable troops" in his neighbors should perhaps look a little closer to home for true examples of the same.

To my good neighbor the Czar, I should note that I respect the discipline and professionalism of the Russian army, and eagerly look forward to the demonstration of it's might - on someone else, of course.

Perhaps someone who insults us both.

i fully understand you o mighty sultan and my troops are chafing at the bit to show how disciplined and professional they are givern the slight on their honour.

my i also point out to my italien friend that is was in fact the russian travel service that mentioned the fine olicves in greece that the italiens might like and in doing so offered the hand of friendship

the mighty Czar is waiting eagly by the post box for news of the french presidents acceptence of the gift of russian ballet girls.

Dear Sultan,

my apologies if you are offended. Let me remind you of the peaceful intentions of the Austrian Empire. Unrest on the Balkans will have effect within the Empire. So it is for our own safety we try to remain peace in this area. We would appreciate your cooperation in this, but remember many Balkan peoples consider themselves free of Ottoman rule and will see any intervention as oppression. So for the sake of peace and these people it is better a neutral power cares for them. Ofcourse, the Bulgarian muslim population will certainly welcome you and the Austrian Empire will respect that. I hope this saturates your unrest?

The Sultan offers his full support for Minister Mirabello's visit to Greece in the Autumn of this year

King Victor Emamuel of Italia has looks favorable upon our French neighbors and agrees to not soiling the beautiful Piedmont landscape with the disagreeable sight of scattered carnage.

We look forward to many years of cooperation and goodwill, but the melodious sound of friendship would soon be shattered if french sails are sighted in the Mediterrean.

Signed Tittoni (Italian Foreign Minister)

Dispatch to the King of England from Tittoni:

Honored Sir, within a few days you will be recieving a crate of Linguini and garlic bread, complements of Italy. I know this is not as exciting as ballet girls, but it is the best we could do. The Italian people hope that our magistrates will work together in some small means for our mutual benefit.

Minister Tittoni,

I will overlook the egregious f'aux pas you committed in referring to Her Majesty as the "King of England" on the grounds that I have spent some considerable time in Her Majesty's presence and still often make the same mistake myself. However, in the interest of protocol, please make a note of the correction.

We can certainly discuss relations and her majesty returns the gift with a case of our finest snuff.

to the prime minster of england, did you see my message about helping me bring the vodka to our scadanavian get to gether

I did, nobles Tsar. Expect some help in the North Sea shortly.

thank you o humble majesty, and if you ever need some caviar shipped to you just let me know