disclaimer; I'm a smartass, and I think almost all of my sarcastic barbs look stupid now anyway. you've been warned.
draw: England
S01: Boring standard opening yaaaawn. I'll let the others pick their enemies first.
A01: okay seriously you've got to be fucking kidding me
Russia opens to St. Petersburg while Turkey opens to Armenia... real smart. That's why I said I was going to let others pick their enemies first.
W01: Okay, so France got three builds, Germany helped Russia get a second unit on Norway and it's possible (though with Turkey down south and an unoccupied Rumania, unlikely) that Russia builds in St. Petersburg. Good start as England, Eden! At least Italy isn't Lepantoing, and is selling peace to Austria... hope he heads west. Then maybe I can sort out Russia/Germany.
S02: Builds are about as expected, except for the unexpected (and most welcome!) A Bre instead of F Bre from France. Gotta love how Russia just doesn't give a shit about the south at all and wants to spend 3/5 units picking a fight over Norway. France seems competent so I'll signal a move to Holland for the fall and hope he picks up on it. Meantime, I'll also support the move to Sweden from Denmark, and if Germany sees it I might get him to take me up on it. Now I'm kinda hoping Italy doesn't head west... in fact, scratch kinda, I hope Italy doesn't go west. That would suck since I need France against Germany. But I'm afraid it's probably inevitable since France built F Mar and Italy isn't really in a position to go anywhere else...
A02: Well, that went about as expected. Italy/Germany/Russia vs England/France, with Austria and Turkey screwing around for the hell of it to boot. Maybe Austria could intervene with the +2 it's getting... we'll see. Going to hope that (a) France saw the signal and (b) Germany banks on France not seeing the signal. The good thing about England in a gunboat is that those armies are damn useful signal units. It's a shame I have to lose Norway. Going to advance signal Denmark as the next target.
W02: DAMMIT FRANCE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CUT RUHR SUPPORT. AGH. WE HAD THAT ONE TOO. This is probably over now, unless Russia stops being a jerk. I rate the odds of this at about .000000000069%. Turkey and Austria both want to be bros with him down south, though Austria, again, with the +2 might be inclined to tear him up. Maybe Russia will take a chance on a stab of Germany, though... he CAN put three on Denmark and two on Berlin if he builds the likely A War... Of course he could also help Germany get the North Sea. That would suck.
In other news France seems to be crossing swords with Italy, to minimal effect either way. I think I can count on French alliance for a while, I just hope that Austria intervenes SOMEWHERE. Russia or Germany or Italy. They're all open, big guy. Your pick!
S03: We'll have to wait until the actual moves to be sure, but it looks like Austria chose... neither. He could drop to Tri/ADS and go for Venice, but that fleet is more likely going for Turkey. Which is a shame because he could just bottle Turkey up with Ser/Gre S Bul and look elsewhere (Russia? Germany? Especially Germany...) for some easy builds. Maybe I'm biased, but I'd have gone (A) Tri -> Tyl, Vie -> Boh and rip out Munich.
Anyway, Russia could consider a stab now. I wish he hadn't gone F Stp (nc) -- A Stp would be a clearer signal of limited warfare confined to Scandinavia. But we'll see. For now, going to support hold NTH and try the convoy to Holland again and hope that Russia doesn't give Germany some unwarranted help.
A03: Flip that. Germany gives Russia some unwarranted help. Berlin's gone. Retreated to Skaggerack because I'd rather take Germany's side here and stake a claim to MY Norway and Russia's Sweden than... whatever piece of crap settlement I'd get out of Germany being carved up. (I think maybe Holland. lol.) I hope Germany sees the retreat for what it is and doesn't take a bullshit potshot at Edinburgh.
Meanwhile, Italy turns around to fight an Austria who... as I called, was not actually after him at all. Bad mistake for Italy because he just gave France way too much momentum in the Mediterranean now. Italy is done. Austria probably gets to carve up Turkey before fighting France. Looks like this might be headed WT vs RA.
W03: Good news... got Norway. Bad news... oh god DAMN it France please tell me that was just an emergency overreaction to Burgundy. Germany pulls back, Italy pulls back... I honestly wouldn't blame him if he took this shot at me, but I hope he sees the impending AI war for what it is: his chance to score some quality centers off of Italy. Maybe this will still evolve into the Western Triple I hope it's going to become. It would help if I could get a disband in North Sea from Germany. 99% sure I'll see that disband in North Sea. France, I'm sure you're not thinking about it, but if you are thinking this little island looks like a nice stop:
http://emotibot.net/pix/417.jpg
Going F Edi -> NTH. Russia, you see this?
http://www.teletubbies.com/en/images/pic-meet-char-tinkywinky.jpg
This is you. An adorable big purple fuzzball. An adorable big purple fuzzball that's about to get its head smashed in. :)
S04: So wait, I clearly missed something. Turkey is now fighting... probably the most-awkwardly-placed Russian invasion force of all time (I mean seriously, A Sev/F Arm? Really? What are you gonna do with that, bleed on him?), coupled with an intimidating Fortress Austropa that happens to be having its back scratched by a rather confused Italian... I'm thinking Italy might go jump Turkey now, since the fleets came east but Italy didn't attack Austria. Which just means France gets to coast. Fine by me, I'll be ready when he returns.
As for the north, I think France is content to draw up his defensive line and go work Italy. I might have bought Germany enough time with taking Norway for him to get his line up against Russia and to start advancing. This might turn out to be a Western Triple in a gunboat... how about that?
A04: So... Turkey and Russia make peace, France decides that he's going to leave Italy to distract Austria and come after me and Germany. Awesome. You people need to stop attacking me early so I can help you when your "friends" screw you later -__-
I'll drop Yorkshire to London, help myself into Norway and accept Russia's peace offering, and send Norwegian over to NAO. Hopefully with four units to work with I can at least frustrate France's advance long enough for Italy to stop screwing around...
Interesting. The single !. Indicative of a convoy/land problem, which means Russia has to be attacking Denmark. I hope Germany reads that. I'll vote Pause for him. ...looks like an NMR. Sad, but I won't complain too much. Strike that, orders in.
W04: Ugh. Don't scare me like that, France. *sigh* I hope France hesitates to move to MAO. I'm going back to set up my move on St. Petersburg. I think Russia won't build A Mos because he got into Black Sea and probably wants to get a finger in on the Turkish spoils. Italy looks like he'll finally be getting center number five... took him long enough. Poor Austria, though, got screwed by the nature of the game and the inherent weakness of his fleet-building capacities.
Looks like my best chance is still being France's bitch. It would be way too easy for him to come attack me now, and Scandinavia is slow... but he hasn't done anything explicitly hostile yet. Keyword "yet"...
S05: Prediction was right, Russia didn't reinforce the north. Probably thinking I was going to go freak out at France.
http://www.teletubbies.com/en/images/pic-meet-char-tinkywinky.jpg
Hammer.
It's on.
A05: Russia tried for Norway, France signaled peace with ENG while moving to MAO as a precaution. France is powerfully placed to screw me hard now, but if he wanted he could have had A Lvp ready this season. And honestly Russia is not giving me a chance to do anything else. Better stick to the course for now. Meanwhile the whole AI thing confuses me... Austria's play was strange. Not sure what to make of things. We'll see how it goes, I suspect that France will want to get a move on into the Mediterranean before Italy turns around and that he will if I let him.
W05: Things are mostly going as expected. Probably got too greedy hoping for Denmark. No big deal though.
S06: France is still my buddy, Russia set up predictable defense of St. Petersburg that will not help him in two years' time, Germany is first out, Austria is collapsing to Italian-Turkish pressure. Looks like things are still going to be muddled as we get to F/I and A/T conflict, with EF moving on R.
==Dio is just not doing it for me. Let's crank up Pantera.==
A06: France, babe, I love you, and I'm glad you love me too. Now can we PLEASE get out of the Channel? We both know the only thing you're doing there is stalling until you can build A Bre and convoy behind my back.
W06: Could I possibly mistake Norwegian Sea and Norway at a less inopportune moment? I mean really, who writes this shit? Ugh. At least Denmark is mine, and I might get Norway too.
S07: Was hoping he would not build St. Petersburg and deal with Turkey, who now has the Black Sea guaranteed and is about to have him by the balls in the south. France is staying onside and staying in the English Channel... I know he's going to stab when he's ready for the win, but I can't do anything about it right now. Best thing is just to guarantee Denmark now since I can't defend Sweden and try to work from there.
A07: You know what I love? When I know good and well someone is about to solo, and I'm the only one who can be more than a minor nuisance, but my neighbor won't quit attacking me to go deal with it. I'm going to keep attacking Russia for the moment, but I want to deal with France. I can see the convoy to London or Wales coming from a million miles away, but if I back off to stop it I lose Sweden and get no builds and probably just get R/F squeezing me trying to solo. So I'll keep fighting, make sure Russia can't retaliate and use what I can after that to slow down France. Especially with CD Austria this game is pretty much over... Time to lead the Draw vote, too.
W07: Knew it, and was going to stop it, too. Good game, France. Nice job, Russia, I could have stopped him a while ago if it weren't for you. I'm going to have no choice but to try and cover my bases while trying desperately to signal peace to France and hope he leaves me alone.
S07: Yeah, that. Here goes.
A07: Russia, you've got to be kidding me. Yeah, screw it, Russia's not only the only draw holdout besides the leader but he's actively moving to come after me instead. He's about to face a -3 with Rumania/Sevastopol/Munich. You want France to win instead of drawing? I'll be happy to oblige.
NOW you put up the Draw vote. Better like than never, devochka. Let's stop this solo.
W07/S08: Well, I'm screwed. Good fight though. Dunno why Russia didn't keep Ruhr. Time to go trollin'!
**did not record past S08, because at that point I was, well, just trollin'**