8hrs phases: guessing everyone went home and didn't check until work the next day.

Piethon, I lol'd.

No, none of us had work, we're still in school. But we had a long weekend and rome was on vacation so no one checked back.

Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.
"What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked.

"Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus.

"Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

Here's a joke:

Women's rights.

And the asshole-of-the-week award goes to...

last two are awesome btw

Where did the jokes go?

America

politics

Yes, we do have a better sense of humor than those Brits.

As we all know, swallows are migratory birds. A swallow was flying north over the Atlantic Ocean when it saw something strange in the water below. "Hmm," said the swallow. "That can't be a whale, because it is too small. And it can't be a dolphin, because dolphins are beautiful swimmers and that thing is swimming really oddly." So the swallow descended to get a better look. And saw . . . a cow. A cow in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean swimming west. [The joke is funnier if, whenever the cow talks, the joketeller moves his or arms and legs stiffly in a swimming motion.]

"Excuse me, are you a cow?" Asked the swallow.
"Yes, yes, I'm a cow," said the cow.
"Well, where are you going?"
"To Madagascar."
"To Madagascar? But you're swimming west in the Atlantic. To get to Madagascar you need to head north, then east through the Mediterranean, through the Suez Canal, and turn south in the Indian Ocean. You're going in completely the wrong direction!"
"That's okay," said the cow. [Swim, swim.] "I'm not going to make it anyway."

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him hoarsely: "Peter..."

Peter approaches the foot of the cross and asks, "What is it, Lord?"

Jesus motions weakly with his head. "Come closer, Peter." So Peter goes to the top of the hill where the cross is planted, stretches upright, and says, "what is it, Lord?"

A third time Jesus says, "Closer, Peter, closer!"

The faithful disciple struggles to climb the cross and after a long while he finally arrives at his Lord's side. Peter looks into his Master's eyes and asks, "yes, my Lord. What is it?" Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, "Look Peter, I can see your house from here!"

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.

trollololololololol @ pieth0n's game

Lol Thucy.
What are Santa's elves called?
Subordinate clauses.

Thuc+1

So I guess his aunts and uncles are relative clauses.