Got me there, krellin.. got me there...

My AP essays are supposed to be clearly formatted and create a clear point, whether it be humorous or stimulating in some way - hell, even make someone think, who would've thunk it - and this one doesn't cover any of those parameters. There's obviously more to writing a paper, some good and some bad in this case, but none of those basic things are covered, and I wouldn't get a good grade on it in my classes.

On a more constructive note, is this a topic you really want to write 7 essays on? How many have you already written? What were they about?

@ CM

AP English *Literature* and Composition or AP *Language* and Composition?
____________

To CM's credit, his essay is intelligible with few mechanical errors, which in my experience is a rarity among high schoolers, many of whom are marginally literate. Even in advanced English, kids don't even know how to put a paragraph together nowadays.

*AP *English* Lang and Comp

@Gun ... any high schooler in a competitive program taking any AP English class should be able to write with few to no mechanical errors. Some don't do it on their phones, but at least in my experiences, the ones that can't pull that off are denied entrance into an AP class of this kind.

Not at the high school I went to, and I graduated from one of the best public high schools in the nation.

Which one is that and when was that? That's a hugely different standard than here and there are plenty of schools here that aren't "one of the best" in the nation.

Gun, I go to one of the best public high schools in the nation, and everyone in the AP classes can write just fine.

@gunfighter: AP English Lang and Comp

@bosox: you obviously have not met some of the students in my english class. I really do not know how some of them got in to the class in the first place. Based on scores from previous essays, I am easily the second or third best writer out of all 70 students taking the class.

@abge: I have written 5 so far. There is this, another essay where I define popularity and how I feel about it, another essay where I compare popularity in middle school and high school, another one where I analyze the different groups of students at my school, and another where I go through a day in my life as someone who isn't particularly popular. That last one needs to be reworked though. I showed it to my teacher, and it's a little short, and it ends up basically describing how I feel about girls in relation to popularity, but in the framework of a day at school. Which my teacher said was fine, but she said I needed to make it clear from the beginning that that is what the essay is about. The final two essays I am going to write are one analyzing the causes of the popularity system in school, and one arguing whether or not it is worth it to try and become popular.
Also, "Your paper comes across as someone who got turned down by the "popular" kids and is now bitter. In no way is it a satire, you're just making fun of a group of people."
That makes no sense considering I've never even tried to be popular. And how is it not satire? If I got out my notes on satire from earlier in the year, this would fit the description perfectly. Making fun of a group of people most definitely falls into the purview of satire.

It's a thin veil of satire on top of a personally distressing issue. The purpose is to express those feelings to a high-school audience, and that's what it does. I count that as sucess. However, I'm not aware of any length requirements etc.

It's not "a satire" per se, but it does employ satire as a tool to get the point across.

@Mujus: It is supposed to be 2-4 pages double-spaced. This is 2 and a half pages double spaced, so it's fine length wise.

@Conservative Man, why don't you post one of your previous papers that got a good grade. Then we can tell you how this paper is in comparison to a previous one. Because right now no one can tell what your teacher is looking for.

How in the hell is writing seven essays on "popularity" educational? God forbid the teacher assigns something involving literature...

@jmo: I can't right now because I'm not at my house, but I can tomorrow. My previous essays were all timed writes that we wrote during one class period, so I'd have to type it up first too.

@Invictus: This is a language class, not a literature class. It is primarily about writing.

"That makes no sense considering I've never even tried to be popular. And how is it not satire? If I got out my notes on satire from earlier in the year, this would fit the description perfectly. Making fun of a group of people most definitely falls into the purview of satire."

I didn't say it was the case, I said that's how it comes across.

There's a difference between satire and making fun of something just to be mean. Your essay comes across as the latter.

What part of my essay makes it come across as mean?

The entire thing is snarky and mean. good god, are you tellng me you were full of warm and bubbly feelings about popular people when you wrote it? Everything in it is a mean attack and a character assassination. If you can't see that you are helpless.

All of it? There's nothing clever about it. You just strung every stereotype you could think of together and thought it would turn into a paper.

Which is why I suggested earlier if you want to improve it, instead of just throwing about a bunch of trite, overused and obvious insults, do some creative writing and make some examples. The entire thing is an opinion piece (and that's a stretch...)...so ad soem examples to support your arguments. At least then you can ad some humor, maybe...about how difficult it is, for example, for a popular person to keep abreast of all the necessary topics of discussion; how long after their homework is done they have to stay late up at night watching popular shows and scanning the internet for topics of discussion after they finish with the Wall street Journal...*that* would be humorous, giving them credit for being truly intelligent human beings who have a tough task,

...instead of your tired, shallow insults.

BETTER QUESTION: why are you on here asking for people's opinions if you are just going to be a closed-minded douche and refuse to accept any criticism. Apparently you aren't ready for prime-time if you can't handle a little feedback.

So you didn't find any of the lines humorous? Everyone I know in real life was cracking up when they read this.

No, I didn't find it the least bit humorous.

I think that's a little harsh, krellin and abge. Keep in mind CM is only in high school. That being said, it reads like a high schooler wrote it. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way, since you write well in general for someone your age. However, the subject matter is very immature. It's not snarky or mean, but it's just plan uncreative. Anyone can make fun of the in-crowd. Not knowing anything about what's cool with high schoolers, I could have picked a dozen entries at random from the reddit front page and written the same paper. Making fun of cool kids isn't satire, nor is it that original. Everyone does it. I make fun of hipsters in the same way you make jokes at the cool kids' expense. It reads as very forced, topical humor about a topic I can virtually guarantee your teacher doesn't give a shit about.

@abge: If you can't find the humor in my essay than I really feel sorry for you.

@2ndWhiteLine: "I can virtually guarantee your teacher doesn't give a shit about." Then why did she say she loved the part she read? Why did she consider it satire? I tend to trust the opinion of someone who has taught AP English for ten years over some random guy online.

@2WL

We clearly aren't the right audience for this paper. Of course, as far as I can tell, the audience it is for is kids who are just as judgmental as the people they claim to hate. This paper serves as nothing more than philosophical masturbation.

@CM

I've known you for several years. In that time, your posts have not changed at all. The only difference is that now sometimes your posts are "satire". Where is the humor in that?

@abge: My audience was intended to be anyone, since I thought anyone would be able to enjoy the humor in this. And anyone my age can. Hell, I even showed it to the girl I like, who sits near me in English. She is pretty popular, and she still thought it was really good and funny.