"Ho, ho, ho! Well, if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou! "
A Clockwork Orange

"Your chicks are your left and right!" -- Randall (Clerks II)

Troutman: "Murdoch, you're making a big mistake!"
Murdoch: "Oh, yeah? What mistake?"
Troutman: "Rambo."

-- Rambo: First Blood: Part II (in a conversation between Colonel Troutman and Murdoch over Murdoch's decision to abandon Rambo in the field and let him fall into enemy hands)

Elwood: "It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas; half a pack of cigarettes; it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."

Jake: "Hit it."

-- The Blues Brothers

"My grandma drank all my pot" -- Alex (Grandmas Boy)

("Dude your bed is a car"-- Alex) "Yea but it is a fucking sweet car!" -- alexs friend Jeff (Grandmas Boy)


"Dude you can get passed a dog...Nobody fucks with a Lion."-- dante (Grandmas Boy)

Soldier: "Where are you going, General Patton?"

General Patton: "Berlin. I'm going to shoot that paper-hanging sonofabitch myself!"

-- Patton

But only in their dreams can man be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be.

-John Keating (Dead Poets' Society)

Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."

Vizzini's last words as he boasts of winning a mental challenge to the death. He lost.

--The Princess Bride

"There are a shortage of perfect breasts in the world; it would be a pity to damage yours."


"Hello my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my fater, prepare to die"
--The Princess Bride

"Yummm, this IS a tasty burger!" - Jules

Pulp Fiction

I am Spartacus.

Spartacus

"That last hand... Damn near killed me." - James Bond, Casino Royale, upon returning to the poker table after being poisoned and barely surviving.

"You were lookin' for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded on Fourth Street and now you're representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they're no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So like I said, the Dean's bet is $20." - Mike McDermott, Rounders, reading a hand at a backroom university game.

"Look at us. Look at what they make you give." -Bourne and the Professor Bourne Series
"I want people's last memory of the church to be of them walking out with their heads held high, not of some old men sneaking out a back door." -Camerlengo Patrick McKenna Angels and Demons

Shaken or Stirred?
I don't give a damn!
Casino Royale again

"The bitch is dead" - James Bond, Casino Royale (yet again!) and a direct quote from the book as well.

007: "Do you expect me talk?"
Goldfinger: "No Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!"
-Goldfinger, 1964.

V: "A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having"
- V for Vendetta

Favortie Goldeneye quotes:

Boris: I am invincible! - said numerous times and his last words before the liquid nitrogen tanks explode and freeze him.


Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: James Bond. Charming, sophisticated secret agent. "Shaken, but not disturbed."
[Zukovsky and his men laugh]
James Bond: I see you haven't lost your delicate sense of humour, Valentin.
[nods toward the stage]
James Bond: Or your need for an audience. Who's strangling the cat?
Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: [looks towards the stage] Strangling a cat?
[Zukovsky looks over at Irina, who singing out of tune, then takes out his gun and shoots right between Bond's legs]
Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: That is Irina, my mistress.
James Bond: Very talented girl. Tell her to go.
[Zukovsky looks to the stage]
Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: Irina, take a hike!


[Bond picks up a sandwich roll, studying it like a gadget]
Q: Don't touch that!
[Q snatches the roll off him]
Q: That's my lunch!


Jack Wade: Now, let me get this straight Jimmy - you shot him in the leg, you stole his car, you took his girl. And now you want Valentin Zukovsky to set you up with Janus?
James Bond: Yes
Jack Wade: Well what are you going to do, appeal to his heart?
James Bond: No, his wallet.
Jack Wade: Oh, that might work.


James Bond: It appears we share the same passions: three, anyway.
Xenia Onatopp: I count two: motoring and, uh, baccarat. I hope the third is where your real talent lies.
James Bond: One rises to meet a challenge.


M: You don't like me, Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter more interested in my numbers than your instincts.
James Bond: The thought had occurred to me.
M: Good, because I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War, whose boyish charms, though wasted on me, obviously appealed to that young woman I sent out to evaluate you.
James Bond: Point taken.



This movie just has *soooo* many great lines. Someof the best in the entire series, as far as I'm concerened.

Gar, the blues brothers quote has been taken! I would vote for that ahead of anything, although I do love many of the films mentioned in this list. A few more of my favorites

"Elementary, my dear Watson." - Most of Holmes films
"Cheese Grommit, cheese" - Wallace & Grommit (maybe just a local love?)
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get" - Forest Gump
"hakuna matata" - Lion King (for comic effect, as you said, this is a happy thread!)

But my favourite (that I can think of at 3am!), other than the Blues brothers above:
"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy" - Life of Brian

"Surely you can't be serious."
- "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

"You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

Two more the interweb has just reminded me of - such great films (Naked Gun & Dirty Harry, although I would hope few needed me to tell them that!)

"Well, she turned me into a newt!"

"...A newt?"

"...I got better."

I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised. I half expected an unpleasant political discussion. I guess I shouldn't lose faith in the webDiplomacy Forum. These lines are hilarious. Thanks, guys!

"Don't push it. Don't push it or I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe."

-- John Rambo, holding a 12-inch combat knife to the throat of a dumb cop whilst evading arrest (Rambo: First Blood)

"I need one burger its for a cop."-- Clerk boy ("Why did you tell him that?"--cop) "No reason..........dont spit in that cops burger."--clerk boy

Super Troopers

General Shepard -- "Good luck, boys. Remember; no one gets left behind!"
(General Shepard walks away)
Grimes -- "What's wrong?"
Eversmann -- "Nothing. He's just never done that before!"
Grimes -- "Fuck!"
(An unnamed soldier seated next to the two begins stroking the ammunition belt on his M249 and smiles)
-- Black Hawk Down, inside a Blackhawk right before the Blackhawks lift off and right as the Humvees roll out (It's Grimes' first combat mission)

Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

-V for Vendetta

"yippee-ay-aye motherfucker"

john mcclane deletes one more bad guy.

from die hard

-Favorite Star Trek Movie line:

Too many, so I'll just say a few:

-Most Dramatic:

A TIE between:

Spock: "Do not grieve, Jim- it is logical. The needs of the many..."
Kirk: "Outweigh the needs of the few."
Spock: Or the one. I have been, and always shall be, your friend. Live long and prosper."

(From "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan")

Such great emotion in that scene... even non-Trek people know Spock, and everyone pretty much loves him, he's just a great icon. And his death here, in the context of the movie and franchise, is huge- if I was the kind to cry at the movies...

And tied with that:

Picard: The line must be drawn here- this far and further... and I will make the PAY for what they've done!

(From "Star Trek VIII: First Contact")

Great performance (as usual) by Patrick Stewart... and this is Picard like never before; Picard's usually so composed and resolved, even when angry, in control. Here he is, in a burning rage, making an Ahab-like statement... it's jsut fantastic.

-Saddest:

Kirk: Of my friend I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human.

(From "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan")

Again, I cried at movies... and Scotty playing "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes... a classic moment, and one of Shatner's best.

-Funniest:

For a reasonably dramatic show/movie franchise, there are a LOT of really great humorous moments, and they're humorous for different reasons. So I'm posting my favorites, my nominees, and you tell me which one is best.

And the nominees, in chronilogical order, are:

Kirk: You're suffering from a Vulcan mind meld, Doctor.
McCoy: That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all those arguments he lost!

(From "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock")

Do I need to explain why that's hilarious? ;)

Kirk: Everyone remember where we parked!

(From "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" just after landing their ship in San Francisco)

This is the funniest movie by far... and that's just a ridiculous line. :)

Chekov: Excuse me, sir. We are looking for the naval base in Alameda. It's where they keep the nuclear wessels... NUCLEAR WESSELS?

(From "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home")

Ah, a classic line by my favorite character, Chekov... if you don't think it's funny on paper, it's not. But watch it, and I dare you not to at least grin...

Data: I just love scanning for lifeforms... (starts to sing while scanning) Lifeforms.... you tiny little lifeforms... you precious little lifeforms... where are you?

(From "Star Trek VII: Generations")

Some may dislike this, but not me- most of the attempts to make Data funny in the film were just obnoxious, and this is a bit, but not too much... and Brent Spiner does a good job with the material here... it's just classic.

Winona Kirk: (Talking about baby Kirk) We could name him after your father.
George Kirk: Tiberius? You kidding me? No- that's the worst! Let's name him after your dad. Let's call him "Jim."

(From "Star Trek XI: 2009")

A scene with great humor and greater heart... we've always wanted to see Kirk's parents, and this scene doesn't dissapoint... really, I think even those who hated the movie loved this opening, so dramatic and full of heart... I love the movie, and I love this opening...

Kirk: (Upon meeting Spock for the first time with McCoy) Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
McCoy: I don't know... but I like him.

(From "Star Trek XI: 2009")

The irony here is so perfect it needs no explanation.

Old Spock: (Introducing himself to Kirk) I am Spock.
Kirk: Bullshit.

(From "Star Trek XI: 2009")

Leonard Nimoy really had a great performance here, and this is my sister's favorite line... I know there's a lot from this movie, I'm not saying that it's the best or maybe even the funniest... but it WAS really good (and that's jsut my opinion, let's not bicker or we'll be here all day... er, night... you know what I mean.)

-Favorite Non-Trek dramatic line:

Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me- I wish none of this had ever happened."
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."

GREAT advice from a GREAT actor (Ian McKellan.) I've never read the books, and there are way more famous lines in way more acclaimed movies, and they deseve that acclaim- but this is just great life advice... always remember it...

-Favorite comedic line:

Now this HAS to be a Marx Brothers' line, as they are comedy gods and my personal favorites; I'll take them even over the Pytons and the Stooges (though all three are great and I love all three.) It's impossible to chose, and it HAS to be a Groucho line (as Zeppo was the straight man, Chico worked with Harpo usually, and Harpo... well, unless honking his horn counts, he never had a line.) ;)

So, some of my favorites, which is best...?

The whole "Captain Spaulding's Adventures in Africa" monologue... if you've never seen it, YouTube it. There are some lines I think are so hysterical I do wish to put them up, but I don't want to spoil them... so type in "Captain Spaulding's Adventures in Africa" on YouTube and watch it...!

Lady : (On a marriage request for multiple spouses) But that's bigotry!
Groucho: And that's big of me, too. I'm sick of these convential marriages- they may have been good enough for your grandmother, but who wants to marry your grandmother? No one, not even your grandfather!

Groucho: We must remember that art is art- still, water is water, isn't it? And east is east and west is west, and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does!

(I have that line on my profile... it's a quote all actors/writers should remember.) :)

Groucho: (To the leader of rival nation Sylvania) Don't look here, but there's one man too many in this room and I think its you.

Lady: I shall not get married before my daughter!
Groucho: You did once.

Groucho: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Lady: Why, he's dead.
Groucho: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.
Lady: I was with him to the very end.
Groucho: No wonder he passed away.
Lady: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Groucho: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

And finally, the quote all politicians apparently live by:

Groucho: (Sung) If any form of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited! I'll put my foot down, so shall it be... this is the land of the free! The last man nearly ruined this place he didn't know what to do with it. If you think this country's bad off now, just wait till I get through with it! The country's taxes must be fixed, and I know what to do with it. If you think you're paying too much now, just wait till I get through with it!

So... what's best?

I am Maximus Decimus Meriduis, commander of the armies of the north, General of the Felix Legion, loyal servant to the true emporer Marcuc Arelius. Father to a Murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Gladiator - Maximus unmasks himself before Commodus in the arena