@sceptic_ka:
As in they were doing something with my computer that I hadn't allowed them to.
Well, that's debatable. I think you said you're using Firefox? In the menu under Edit -> Preferences or Tools -> Options (whichever you have), under the Content tab, there should be a checkbox Enable Java. Do you have that checked? Then you've told Firefox to allow web sites to run Java programs on your computer. If you uncheck it, then Firefox will know not to allow this.
I'm giving the argument that you did allow this, but as I said before, it's debatable. These are default settings (on Firefox, also on Internet Explorer and probably most other modern browsers) and most users don't really understand them. So maybe it's Mozilla's fault … but if they set the default the other way, then users would complain that various websites don't work, so maybe it's Sun Microsystems' fault for inventing an inherently corruptable system, or Plura's fault for taking advantage of something that they should know is broken. Or you might make the case that there's an etiquette observed on the web, which you know porn sites ignore but which you reasonably expected phpDiplomacy to keep, and this has violated that. So it's not clear cut that you allowed it, but it's not clear cut that you didn't either.
Personally, I surf with Java off (in Firefox, turned off as I described, but one can do that in Internet Explorer too in much the same way). I'll say more about that in my next comment, addressed to Kestas et al.