"Joe Peshi vs. Napoleon in a "Short Man" fight..."

Out of interest, did you know that Napoleon wasn't actually short? It was basically a bit of wartime propaganda in the British press, which was clearly so effective that people today still think he was short. In actual fact records show that his height was just above 5ft 7in which at that time was average male height.

Sean Connery vs. William Shatner.

The fight would start off as an all-out brawl. Neither are really martial artists in the strictest sense, so pugilism would be the order of the day. Connery is taller and has better reach, but the Shat's got tenacity and endurance (advantage: Connery). As the fight goes on, they would both have to rely on their ingenuity. Connery would have picked up a few 007 gadgets and trickery along the way, but the good Captain remembers that he built a cannon from scratch to fight the Gorn (advantage: Shatner). Exhausted, they would reduce themselves to name-calling, and trying to accuse each other of having been in the worst film.

SC: "Aye lad, you spent some time slummin' in 'Rescue 911.' "
WS: "Slumming? You honestly think 'Highlander II: The Quickening' was a work of art?"
SC: "If it be sequels ye want, let's have a chat on 'Star Trek V: The Final Frontier' or rather 'Kirk Fistfights with God.' Ye helmed that rubbish, didn't ye?"
WS: "Garbage? You couldn't even keep a straight face when you played the Evil Weather Man in 'The Avengers' remake. Seriously Sean, an evil weather man..."
SC: "Oh ye big man, talkin' yer big talk. What was it ye did to pay yer bills when the checks from Star Trek stopped comin'? Oh that's right, ye played a manly horse veterinarian in that timeless classic, 'Kingdom of the Spiders!' "
WS: (long pause). "Alright, one word. 'Zardoz.' Because real mean wear nothing but knee high boots, two gun bandoleers, and a red diaper!"

(advantage: Shatner)

Just LOL Emperor, just LOL!!!

@ Emperor Ming: You missed the worst thing Shatner's ever done:

TEKWAR!

@Jamiet99uk:

Yes, I actually hold Napoleon highly in history personally for what he did for the Jews in West Europe and his Code and skills... its the perfect "incredible rise to power" story minus the heiling and the Third Reich. ;)

But CD was a show on MTV, so they go off stereotypes... and its a comedy, they wren't trying to be perfectly historically accurate- hence The Time Machine bringing Napoleon back from the year 1912 or so to face Peschi! ;)

And Connery/Shatner looks interesting, but I three fights, a whole episode-worth, I think are even BETTER:

-Undercard: Shatner vs. Chris Pine for title of "Best Kirk!"
-2nd fight: Brandon Routh vs. Time Machine Christopher Reeve- Superman fight
-MAIN EVENT: Connery vs. Lazenby vs. Moore vs. Dalton vs. Brosnan vs. Craig:

WHO wins, current ages GIVEN (no getting younger or less-drunk, Sean old boy) the Battle fo the Bonds???

:D

My picks for that "episode" of three fights:

-Kirk beats Pine because physics bend to him and allow him his Gorn Cannon works (such a good Idea I'm stealing it from another above... that WOULD be how he ould win on a show so absurd like CD! lol) Abrams enters moaning, because now the Kirk for his new series of trek movies is dead, Shatner responds, posing, "You STILL have the best captain in the world at your disposal!" and Abrams... wait for it... says, "He's right- bet me Sir Patrick Stewart on speed-dial!"

Could ANOTHER clash of Trek captains be far off, two oldies gihting to be in a a new, young Trek? ;) (For the record- I think XI WAS a good movie for what it was, an attempt to revive the series by making it mainstream for this film, now they can go back, now that they have money and support and studio backing, to make a more "classic" Trek sort of film, or at least blend Abrams' style more with the allegorical style of Roddenberry's TOS... good to great cast, the new Spock, McCoy, and my favorite character forever, Chekov, were spot-on brilliant, Scotty sounded like we Americans do when we're trying to imitate Scotsmen... but then James Doohan, the original Scotty, was Canadian anyway, so maybe a silly accent for Scotty is mandatory, just like with Chekov, so Scotty was good, Sulu didn't speak much but at least looked the part mostly... Uhura and Kirk worry me a bit, Uhura's a lot more out there than before, but she's younger, so maybe that's OK, and Kirk is WAY too raw, its not like they have to give us the Shatner-Speeching-and-Preaching version of Kirk, but he's still far to rough around the edges and loose, even for Kirk, he needs to have settled a bit in the next film- but overall the cast was GREAT, and looking foward to another film, two are greenlit... and can I dream of another TV series to come if the next movies are good?)

-Reeve crushes Routh, no contest, he IS Superman- and he flies away...

-The Battle of the Bonds... I'll let others start on this first and come in, because with 6 Bonds, different styles, and all that booze involved, it's going to be a Fight to Remember

*and that was 1812 I meant for reviving Napoleon- if it was 1912... oh my GOD, imagine a Napoleon with the knowledge he had, up to date on tactics and everything of WWI France by WWI- things could very well ahve turned out quite different...

"Out of interest, did you know that Napoleon wasn't actually short? It was basically a bit of wartime propaganda in the British press, which was clearly so effective that people today still think he was short. In actual fact records show that his height was just above 5ft 7in which at that time was average male height."

I heard he was 5'8'' which was above average male height, but that it was a common misconception because his army called him "le petit" corporal or something, which means small corporal but in French is often used as an affectionate term rather than one denoting size. I've also heard it could be that the elite guards he kept around him were all over 6' making him look short in comparison.