A friend takes your hand, but touches your heart. A friendship distinguishes itself by sympathy and trust. A friend is somebody who knows everything about you and has you, nevertheless, with pleasure. Real friends you find only a few, somebody search lifelong...

Ask yourself how far you think a person would go to help you, and how far would you go to help them?

Someone you socialize with on a regular basis.

@bo: They're from school and I don't actively hang out with them, I just have a strong tendency to ignore 'social obligations' and all that bullshit and I actively try not to belong to a group since I want to be identified/judged as an individual, not a group member, and it seems that this attitude causes people who aren't really in a group either to sit next to me at school etc.
No problem with that, I'm just nice to them as I am to everyone, but an observer that doesn't observe carefully enough would quickly put me in their group if that makes sense.
It's also not that black-and-white that they aren't fun to be around, but they're not the first names that would spring to my mind if I try to think of people fun to hang with.

So this is all about school environment, to be clear. Outside of school, I've got no problem figuring out who's a friend and who isn't because I simply don't do stuff with people who aren't friends.

@thdfrance:
So you'd say my last example is a friend, even though we wouldn't want to call it that way?
We also tend to chat through Whatsapp almost exclusively, but the conversations go pretty deep. At school, we mostly ignore eachother I suppose.

I guess it's more of a secret friend.

Just because you socialize with someone doesn't make them a friend. Time means nothing either, just because you've known someone for a long time does not mean their a friend either. Mearly acquaintances. Friends come and go, and sometimes there's long periods of times and people come back into your life and become friends again. In your teens and twenties it's much harder to understand this, as this comes with age. Friends are the people who show up to help, or that you would help at anytime anyplace no matter what

If they come and go then they don't show up anytime, anyplace no matter what.

You guys need to sort this out. Friends don't have to be blood brothers as ssoren & co describe them, but nor are they glorified acquaintances.

I socialize with you people and I fucking hate half of you. @TrPrado and others also qualify as my bitches so I socialize with them but they are not friends. The final group are the people I piss off by posting games but they ignore it and try not to message me.
SPEAKING OF WHICH: gameID=150486

This isn't socializing.

not the way you do it

Okay what's your definition pf socializing then?

@Putin

A friend is someone you enjoy spending time with who enjoys spending time with you as well, or someone who you once enjoyed spending time with and anticipate being able to do so again when/if you see each other again.

This whole "showing up" criteria strikes me as too transactional. I have people I consider close friends on the other side of the country. I'd never ask them to come over and help me move a couch or a body. Should that mean we're not friends?

If you want to listen to the guy, who most likely has no friends(Putin) no problem. Putins friend is the dictionary.

Move a body?

Once again the great and the good of Webdip struggle over a question that pretty much every 5yr old could answer in an instant. Makes you proud :)

Friendly get-togethers. Key operative phrase being friendly and get-togethers (real life meetings).

Arguing online doesn't fit either requirement.

Being friendly and being friends are different things

I ought to think that it's easier for a 5-year-old.
I'm also just wondering this time.

I guess part of the issue is that I ignore normal social conventions so I obviously can't go by those.

I guess it does get a bit annoying when people say something like "Sorry I'm talking about him like that, I know he's your friend" and I can't help thinking "no he isn't.." though.

What on earth do you mean by ignoring social conventions?

A friend is someone who stabs you in the front.

@Putin: How about me giving someone personal and unusually open advice (for my taste and pretty much everyone's taste) via Whatsapp on a somewhat regular basis? No get-togethers, but at the same time kind of more than that...

I guess I'm more inclined to agree with ssorenn but then again I'm really not inclined to call that person a friend..

Well, maybe in my mind but I wouldn't call that person a friend when anyone, including that person, could hear it I suppose.

@Putin: Not going to a party when I "have to go!!", being brutally honest when I am clearly expected to lie to make someone feel better and like me better and generally not bothering to talk with anyone when I'm not interested come to mind right now.

Some things are more things of a close past rather than things I still do so actively, but it's still a cause I suppose.

What makes you reluctant to call that person a friend if they behave so much like one?

Someone online you get inappropriate advice from.

@rmf: It's more that I don't think that person would want to be known as my friend. Not even out of shame or anything like that, I guess it's got to do with your typical high school drama. People would make a big deal out of it and there's a bit of a history involved as well. We are in many ways living in two different worlds. I guess that's kind of the power of our friendship or however you'd call it as well. No matter what the subject is, it seems I can always show that person a new side of the story and vice versa.

As such, I guess it sort of makes sense that we keep living in seperate worlds, since otherwise that person would risk becoming just another person I hang out with but am not really interested in, although I guess that person would have a hard time boring me even then.

@ steephie. I'm not you're friend, I some arbitrary screen name that you see on your computer. Later in life if you get to a point that you have 3 friends, count yourself lucky. Most people don't even have that ( and they don't even know it). Once you come to terms with the friends you acquire, cherish them as long as all things remain status quo- the street is always two ways

Damn, ss, 3 friends? </3

3.5 if you count Abge.

So don't get me wrong, you can have very close aquaintences, people you enjoy doing certain things with. Nothing wrong with that, but to me the term friend has grown to mean something different now that I'm raising children.

Yeah I get what you're saying. I probably have 2-3 dozen friends I see regularly, but only 5 close friends based on the standards I presume you are using.