Octopus: As for the argument, it is primarily at the moment a empirical thing, with a lot though experiments thrown in. Its one of those things that one can't supply really hard evidence for without running some neurosci and sociology experiments.
As for your question of if you're defective, its an interesting one, and I have feeling that you aren't going to like the answer I gave when in my debate.
Here is the basic idea: The Human fundamentally wants to feel both important and equal. At the same time however, the human also shies away from responsibility for their actions (Which assumes the human shies away from pain, and that having only yourself to blame is the most painful situation). In this way The Human prefers to have others make decisions for them so someone else can be blamed if it goes wrong, however doing so makes The Human feel unimportant, despite the gift of being rid of indecision. Which is essentially a paradox. The second paradox is of how a human can both desire equality and hierarchy at the same time. To get beyond this paradox one must consider the ways in which these opposing principles can come together.
Now my assumption is that humanity is a by its nature are rational being. In fact what makes us human is the faculty of reason.
Thus humanity must be ruled by reason. In which they both feel equal and are ruled, and important but someone blameless, important because they can understand the purpose to what they are doing, but blameless because it was the only reasonable thing to do.
Given this desire to bow to reason, (and avoid pain/ hardship) a ruler will inevitably arise (I'm going to skip over a huge chunk of argument here for expediency)
Suffice to say you have ruler. Now a perfect ruler would be one who rules in accordance with reason. Thus only the unreasonable, who are insane, or no longer human. Would not willingly submit. However the imperfect ruler will often act in a way that diverges from reason, as such, The human will lash out and react against this state of unreason, and poor authority, in an attempt to find the true authority. That of reason.
Your rejection of hierarchy arises from a desire to find proper hierarchy, because what we have now is a perversion.