On a more serious note, for anyone planning on travelling to Australia in the near future, be sure to read this. It's one of the more disturbing aspects of Australia unfortunately.

"The Australian Government has recently issued a warning stating that Drop Bear attacks have become more common in the last few months due to the dry weather and destruction of traditional Drop Bear food sources. Residents and tourists alike have been asked to be very diligent when bush walking, espically during the mid day hours, when drop bears are their most active.

The Drop Bear, a carnivourous tree-climbing marsupial, is closely related to the Koala, but can reach approximately three times the size. They can be found all across forested areas of Australia, often perched in the upper branches of Eucalyptic trees. Drop Bears are gifted with two rows of razor sharp teeth barbed with hallucenogenic chemicals meant to induce confusion and submission from their prey. They are generally a slow moving species, but react swiftly when hunting prey.

The primary human prey of Drop Bears are unsuspecting tourists from the northern hemisphere, sometimes Welsh or German but usually US American or Japanese. Drop Bears will wait in the canopy of the Australian Bush until an animal or person walks directly beneath them at which point they will let go of the branches they are clinging to and will drop directly on the victims head. It is commonly understood that the Bears favour those with cameras, due to the entrancing reflection of the sun's rays from the glass lenses on a typical Australian scorcher of a day. There is no truth in the rarely misquoted assertion that they wish to be "at one with the lens". It is a well known fact that the Australian Government would have banned tourism long ago had it not been for the fact that with no tourists, the drop bears would have been forced to feed on native Australians.

Drop Bears have had some devastating effects on the environment. Central Australia now consists of vast tracts of treeless desert due to the voracious appetites of the local Drop Bear population coupled with the dearth of American tourists and escaped Boat People in the area. This has increased carbon dioxide levels to highly predictable proportions. Scientists have noted that there is now a large hole in the ozone layer above Australia that can undoubtedly be linked to the Drop Bear epidemic.

The only know repellent for a Drop Bear is vegemite. You will need to rub it on the back of your neck and on your face to stop them attacking. Many people have tried using Aeroguard but this just makes them more active due to the sweet smell of the mist."


Be safe and forewarned when travelling to Australia!!!

^^ Not the punchline I was expecting. Guessed it would be something about all the tourist shops etc

I believe it is due to the earth's gravity, denoted g, which refers to the acceleration that the earth imparts to objects on or near its surface. In SI units this acceleration is measured in m/s2 (metres per second per second, equivalently written as m·s−2 or N/kg). It has an approximate value of 9.81 m/s2, which means that, ignoring air resistance, the speed of an object falling freely near the Earth's surface increases by about 9.81 metres per second every second. This quantity is informally known as little g (contrasted with G, the gravitational constant, known as big G).
There is a direct relationship between gravitational acceleration and the downwards weight force experienced by objects on Earth. However, other factors such as the rotation of the Earth also contribute to the net acceleration and are usually considered part of Earth's gravity.
The precise strength of the Earth's gravity varies depending on location. The nominal "average" value at the Earth's surface, known as standard gravity is, by definition, 9.80665 m/s2 (32.1740 ft/s2). This quantity is denoted variously as gn, ge (though this sometimes means the normal equatorial value on Earth, 9.78033 m/s2), g0, gee, or simply g (which is also used for the variable local value). The symbol g should not be confused with g, the abbreviation for gram (which is not italicized).

(Plus Vegemite of course!)

I love all Australians except those wearing baggy green caps.

De Gaulle, for the record: I am a pom and to my eternal shame I prefer vegemite to marmite.

Actually, De Gaulle getting pissed at Americans as a result of this thread is my fault. I did after all joke that this looked like an Aussie bashing thread. So at least we know that's where De Gaulle go the "bashing" idea.

And I AM after all American...... so maybe that shitstorm in viewthread=597317 is my fault

Don't worry Thucydides. That thread is no-ones fault but those who continue flaming eachother in it. I forgot that even this internet forum is laced with a healthy dose of immaturity. Ironically, most of the participants claim to be professionals and/or working parents. You'd think they'd know better. :)

Thuncy - I gave you a +1000 for your post in the other thread. I may have a disagreement with De Gaulle for his asinine attack on america when the real Aussie bashers weren't from there, but you really laid it out well. Thanks. Well written, my friend.

ha thanks i guess. i like how this thread is now a bastion of normal people whereas the other thread... who knows what it will soon become.

also WHO the FUCK is Thuncy???

IS HE RELATED TO DRAGNAUR?

lmao

Oops! *wears sheepish grin and turns bright red from embarassment*

yeah lol no worries.

speaking of my name though i was hoping hellalt would call me out and be like:

"BUT YOU'RE NAMED AFTER A GREEK!!"

lol

Ha! My "names" Sindarin. That doesn't make me a goblin, although I have been compared to a Ring Wraith before.

@Draugner In the spirit of light hearted fun. Why did they build bridges across the Ohio? So that the Kentuckians can swim across in the shade.

What do you call Kentuckians that can swim? Hoosiers

lma@warsprite. good stuff.

lmao.

Oh here's an Ohio joke:

Why does Ohio have the highest number of astronauts out of all the states?

They're all just looking for some way to get the hell out of Ohio.


A good NoDak joke (North Dakotans) :

What do you call a female Nodak who takes birth control pills?

Humanitarian.

How do you get a Nodak off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza.

What did the Nodak do when he heard 90% of accidents occur within 5 miles of home?

Moved.




And NOW since I am SUCH a good Longhorn from the University of Texas, I will give you some Aggie jokes.

"An Aggie went bear hunting, but he went home. Why?

Sign said "Bear left""

"Bubba was the stupidest Aggie in the senior class. But everybody loved Bubba, even the president of the university. There was no way he was going to graduate normally, but the president decided to give him a special exemption. He told Bubba that he would take him to Kyle Field in front of all the Aggies and ask him one math question. If he answered right, he would get to graduate!

"Okay," Bubba said.

So there they were in front of the whole student body. The president asked:

"Bubba, what's two plus two?"

Bubba thought a while.... looked real puzzled, and finally said, "uh.... four?"

Immediately, all the Aggies in the stadium began to loudly boo, and chanted:

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!""

"An aggie and a Longhorn were sentenced to the electric chair for a murder. The police told the Longhorn that if nothing happened he was free to go. He asked the Longhorn if he had any last words and the Longhorn said no so he pushed the button. Nothing happened so he was free to go.

Then the aggie got into the chair and they told him if nothing happened then he was free to go. So they asked him if he had any last words and he said "it might help if you plug in the chair!"

This you'll only get if you're familiar with Houston. From a hurricane evacuation dispatch:

"Important Information!

Subject: Hurricane Evacuation Plan:

In case of hurricane, follow the Houston Evacuation Plan:

Hispanics use I10 West to San Antonio

Cajuns use I10 East to Lafayette

Yankees use I45 North to Oklahoma

Aggies use 610 Loop"


"An Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Okie walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Is this some kind of joke?""

Anyway... now I'm just talking.

Cute, warsprite.

What's interesting is just how many Ohioans have moved to the right side of the river in recent years (myself included).

Because so many Ketuckians moved north.

That's Kentuckians.

@Thucy - I think having the 610 *Loop* sort of gave away at least that much of the joke without having to know Houston at all. I really liked the Bubba one.

What are the last words every true Kentuckian says just beofre they die? "Hey, y'all! Watch this!"

What do you call a 16 year old Kentucky virgin? Middle school track star!

@Warsprite - That's why Norwood, Middletown, and Hamilton are called Nortucky, Middletucky, and Hamiltucky.

I know I lived there when I was a kid. It still was downer when we moved to Indianapolis.

AKA as Indy noplace back then.

Still had that once a year race thing, though, didn't it? I must admit the drive out I74 to Indy is one of the most boring and flat drives I've ever taken. 80 miles of flat nothingness.

Yes it did. Back when the Snake Pit was still the place to see. Now they have stands inplace, and they make some effort to maintain some control on the activities at the new pit. So much for progress.

I am so *not* the typical Kentuckian... I've only been to the Speedway once when they let us take our Corvettes out for an extended lap (I prefer going to Bowling Green to the NCM). I prefer single-malt highland scotch over Kentucky bourbon. I only smoke english pipe tobacco and cigars made somewhere south of Key West, FL. And I've never had sex with a relative except my own wife (who only became a relative when I married her). Althouhg I do have this second cousin who used to be really hot when we were teens... But I was an Ohioan then.