Husband: "Hey honey?..."
Wife: "Yes, my love?"
Husband: "You remember the other night when I was in that little scuffle?"
Wife: "You mean when that guy had you down on the ground and was kicking you in the head over and over?"
Husband: "Uh, yeah, then, well, I've got some bad news."
Wife: "Oh no, is he upset?"
Husband: "Of course he's upset, you grabbed him by the balls!"
Wife: "Well, I had to get him off of you somehow."
Husband: "Then why didn't you just hit him on the back with my shepherd's crook?"
Wife: "Well, he robe was in disarray and his...family jewels...were right there. And besides, you looked like you were unconscious, I had to do something fast!"
Husband: "Yeah, well, I was faking hoping he'd let up a bit, wasn't I."
Wife: "And how was I to know that?"
Husband: "ANYway, I've got some bad news. He went to the priests and said that he couldn't have any children anymore and he demanded our first born, Jonathon!"
Wife: "Oh heavens, what did the priests say? He can't have little Johnny!"
Husband: "Well, the good news is the priests agreed with us and Johnny won't be taken away. The bad news is they still ruled against us, but wife a different punishment."
Wife: "What are you doing with that knife?"