I have been a complete an utter jackass. I've been foul mouthed, insulting, and anything but a person that I am proud to be. It has come to my attention that this is my reputation in here, and am I am deeply embarrassed -- not because I know, because I've known for a while, but because I continued to act like a douche bag despite people trying to give me a friendly hint.
I have no excuse for my behavior.
As I said, I've know that my reputation as a jackass was growing, but there was something about tonight's game with Spa13rkY and xpedior that was a "rock bottom" moment for me. I cannot put my finger on what it was, but I suddenly was hit with months of shame for my behavior.
Further, it xpedior indicated that I'm known as a player who ascended to the upper ranks by winning games where there were CD's. I don't recall that being the case as I am usually VERY sensitive to this issue, but then I've played so many, I cannot say for certain that it never happened. I try to be as diligent as possible in voting draw/cancel the moment I see there is a CD -- many times even before the first move is logged. Actually, that was the point of contention between xpedior and I in tonight's game.
Lastly, I guess I'm known as a player that quits. Drauger got on me early on about that. I worked very hard on that for a long time, and got it under control. Honestly, I just love the game so much that I want to play all the time, and I start games when I shouldn't as something invariably comes up. Again, I am sorry. I know how much it pisses people off. Obviously I cannot be quitting them all as I have 821 games under my belt. It is never my intention to quit a game once I've started. But, since I only play live games, it does happen from time to time -- especially when there is a CD and the other.
I am ashamed of all these things, but I truly do love this game and am so thankful for a forum filled with other people that love it as much as I do. I don't deserve to be in here with you good folks. I think I should take a hiatus, maybe have my account erased and start over when I can learn to control myself. I have shamed myself, and the site as a whole.
Please accept my apologies.
Sincerely,
MichiganMan