denis,
No, I do not think that being a patriot means that you say, "My country right or wrong." Indeed, I applaud your nuanced reading of the cold war (I might also disagree with parts of it, if details were fleshed out, but disagreeing with parts of it is not the same as disliking the nuance, nor your ability to say your country was wrong).
Patriotism, in my view, means rather loving your country and _wanting_ it to be right. I would fight and die for my country if it were involved in a sufficiently serious war _that was right_. If the war was wrong, I would lament it and do anything to avoid fighting in it, and to try to get the country to return to the better ideals it has sometimes striven for.
Yes, of course, nations are human and flawed, and all the way back to the founding (and at every time since) there have been some ideals held in this nation that were not good, and other good ideals that were not lived up to. But I can still want it to live up to them, and love that it tries. I can even think it is pretty special for trying as hard as it has, in some cases, where I think other countries might not have (but here we're getting into the subjective, obviously).
It's much like when you love a person, imho. You don't therefore dislike every other person -- you just don't feel the same about them. And you don't just give the person carte blanche to be a bad person: you lament all the more when they do something bad, and are all the prouder when they do something good.
I think it would be silly to say, "Can anyone defend love? Love makes people ignore the bad in other people. People love really bad people sometimes, and sometimes they favor the person they love unfairly over somebody else." All true sometimes, of course, but again, people are flawed and misuse things. So with patriotism.
And yes, of course people blame you for not being a patriot when you disagree with them politically. They'll also blame you for being a bad person, not caring about X Y or Z, etc. It's precisely because patriotism is good that this is an accusation worth making. Don't judge anything by what happens to it when political rhetoricians get it in their mouths.
Regards.