Oooh! Snap. >.>

On a different note, I really enjoyed the joke. Though that might have something to do with the fact that I think corporations are jerks.

So a bank CEO, a Union official and a trust fund kid all fall off a cliff trying to race to the bottom. Who wins?....

Society!

LOL! Now *that* was funny. LJTD +307 (I'll double your points for that one).

lol

A union official, a union member, a conservative, and a taxpayer walk into a donut shop, and walk out with a dozen donuts. The union official yells to anyone who can hear "The conservative is going to take some of my donuts and give them back to the taxpayer!"

Union members and union officials pay taxes.

But if he said, "The conservative is going to take some of my donuts and give some back to the taxpayer, some back to the union member, some back to himself and some back to me!", the punch line wouldn't really have the same kick.

gigantor + 1

But I will admit that it was a botched joke. I didn't have much to work with.

How about:

A bunch of Democrats and Republicans go into a donut shop. The Democrats run out and hide before ordering and then yell at the Republicans for eating without them.

LOL! abgemacht +14 (one for each of the derelict democrats)

Sadly, my donut shop has gone bust

what Draugnar said

A plane crashes near a deserted tropical island. 50 survivors swim to shore and form a community over the years.

One year the food harvest is really bad due to weather. The 25 farmers (food gatherers) go to the council and explain that there is only enough food for everyone to have two meals a day instead of the usual three, until the food sources recover.

But the 5 council members explains that both the council members and the 20 members of the Wood and Water Gathering Union have contracts that specify they get 3 meals a day and that it suggesting they cut back to 2 meals a day is horrendous and just plain wicked. And the 20 members of the WWGU threaten to strike if their benefits are cut.

Bada bing!

Hrmm. Somehow it isn't very funny is it?

Haha. I still chuckled. :P

This thread is full of awesome. Special +1 to abgemacht and Alderian.

Agreed. I can always count on joke threads.

My alltime fav... I'm Catholic, so think of it as making fun of myself, similar to Mel Brooks and his Jew jokes... so this is your warning that it is crude and pokes at religion (Catholicism in particular), so no groaning at me, because I warned you. If you get offended by that kinda stuff, don't read, k?


A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die and go up to the pearly gates. It is just like each of them could imagine... the gates of pearl, St. Peter up on a white marble podium guarding the gates, and next to him a fountain of holy water....
The nuns form a long single line to be able to, one-by-one, ask St Peter to open the gates so they may enter heaven...
The first nun approaches St. Peter. He welcomes her and asks for her final confession. The nun blushes and timidly whispers to St Peter that after she took her vow of celibacy, she looked at and gazed upon a penis. St Peter stands, tells her to wash her eyes with the holy water in the fountain, her sins will be forgiven and she can enter the gates into heaven.

The next nun comes up to St Peter, and he asks for her final confession. After cowering in shame for a minute, the nun finally admits that after her vow of chastity, she once touched a penis. St Peter tells her to wash her hand, her sins are forgive, and she can enter the gates.

All of a sudden there is a commotion in the back of the line with a nun screaming and running towards the front of the line. St Peter stands, here's the nun's shouts as "St. Peter!! St. Peter!! WAIT!!!" She reaches him, he tries to calm her down, but she is panting and frantic. He finally asks her what the problem is and she belts out "Just... let me gargle with that stuff before Sister Mary-Francis sticks her butt in it!!"

But what I really don't understand is how the super-rich have shaped the discussion. They now own a larger percent than ever, they pay a much smaller percentage of income in taxes (as illustrated by Warren Buffett, super-investor!), and they have managed to convince a lot of middle-class people that they should take away secure retirements from union workers instead of aspiring to have secure retirements themselves. Buffett says that there is indeed class warfare in our society, and that his class is winning.

Mujus ftw.

@ fortknox

That's one of my favorite Catholic jokes. Here's one you might enjoy:

Three nuns are talking about a priest.

The first nun says "I found porn magazines in the priest's room!"

The second one says "I found condoms under the priest's bed!"

The first one asks "What did you do with them?"

The second one says "I poked holes in them."

The third nun fainted.

@ fort knox, good one!...@ Dunecat, The world tends to do that on its own. @ Mujus, Is that really that suprising in the land of lobbyists and influence based on wealth. I never thought I'd be grateful for a minority gov't but it keeps things a little leaner up here. Maybe? The rich have always held the reins of power in one form or another. The problem is the pie is getting smaller and there is less to go around. Besides , the worse the situation gets the more influence he and others like him have. ................................Ok, I've got one. ..... A hindu man and a christian woman are happily married for their whole lives and promise eachother that somehow, someday when either dies, that one would send a message from the other side telling what it is like. Sadly the day finally comes and the husband passes on . Six months later the wife is asleep and she can hear her husband calling her. Is that you dear , she replies. Yes it is he says. So, what is it like where you are? He says, well I'll tell ya. I get up in the morning, have sex and go out on the golf course. I have a bite to eat, lay in the sun, have sex again and then it's time for lunch. A short snooze and I am back out on the golf course. That takes most of the day and then I go back and have sex yet again. Then I settle into sleep and the next day is pretty much the same. Wow! she says, you really must be in heaven. He says, Heaven! Not a chance, I'm a rabbit living near a golf course in Ontario.

@faust +1 - That was good.

Ok so a guy walks into a bar and sees a little fella playing on a piano. He is really good and is performing some Mozart, but he is only about a half a foot tall. The guy walks up to the bartender and asks "Whats with the little guy playing on the piano?" The bartender replies "Well ya see I have this really old magic lamp with a genie inside." The guy is anxious to make a quick buck "Can i have a go? How's $20 sound?" The bartender accepts. The guy goes over and rubs the lamp saying "I wish I had a thousand bucks." All of a sudden rushing through the door and bursting through the windows comes a thousand ducks. The guy is mad and yells at the bartender "This things broke! I wished for a thousand Bucks not a thousand Ducks!" The bartender smirks "You really didn't think i wished for a six inch pianist did ya?"

only 6 inches? lol

I've definitely heard that joke with 10 inches...

Yeah, i just said it as i heard it. Maybe he's desperate?

I think you're missing the clear subtext of what the bartender was after. He clearly didn't ask his pianist to grow. He was hoping for a no strings attached additional one to show up. And for that, he thinks six is a good starter.

"But what I really don't understand is how the super-rich have shaped the discussion. They now own a larger percent than ever, they pay a much smaller percentage of income in taxes (as illustrated by Warren Buffett, super-investor!), and they have managed to convince a lot of middle-class people that they should take away secure retirements from union workers instead of aspiring to have secure retirements themselves. Buffett says that there is indeed class warfare in our society, and that his class is winning."

Mujus +1