All right, here goes...
"Bo, everything you say irks me."
Success #1.
"First, stop with your RBI's and pitcher records. You don't have to embrace SABR, but you shouldn't use stats that are so obviously flawed."
RBIs are not flawed. They are an indication of a hitter's ability to come through in specific situations. Yes, some players happen upon these situations more often, but when combined with different sabermetrics and other more complex measurements, RBI is a useful tool. Pitcher's records are flawed (Mariners fans know that as well as anyone), I'm aware.
I'll work on my sabermetric fluency, but it's awfully low right now. I'm a power-average hitter that hits from the right side and occasionally goes to right field when there's a pitch off the outside corner. I don't hit into a lot of double plays because I hit a lot of fly balls, and about half of the runs I produce come from sac flies. That's basic knowledge of a player's tendencies, and I've never seen the use for magical measurements that serve to take credibility away from the eye test, which, when done properly, can be just as telling as any stat can.
"spending on the only big name willing to come when your payroll is tiny, you have two players signed pay next year, and you have a bunch of cheap talent is not their primary issue."
They outbid the Yankees. That's a spending spree.
"Joe Mayer is awesome."
Joe *Mauer* is not awesome. His commercials are awesome. He is certainly not better than his most accurate catcher-turned-1B comparison Buster Posey, and while he had one big season, his others have been reasonably good, good enough to deserve a contract but not "awesome."
"The Jays also have Encarnacion, and some decent role players. It's their pitching that's the problem."
Encarnacion is great but he's not the protection Bautista needs. Otherwise, yeah, they have role players in starting positions. Not a good club, but Bautista is just so dominant against whoever they bring out that they'll win games.
"The Orioles won't finish over 500'. They blew their window and are already declining."
Tell that to Chris Davis. Better yet, tell that to Nelson Cruz, whose arrival means Chris Davis doesn't have to make us all think he's juicing to make this team win.
"Why so low on the Padres?"
Their pitching, like you said, is underrated. The offense, on the other hand, couldn't possibly be underrated; it's arguably the worst in the league. Of course, as I say that, Seth Smith hits a loooooooooong bomb....
"The Reds also lost Choo, they won't have as good luck with pitcher health, and Hamilton can't hit in the minors."
Yeah, they lost Choo, but Bruce and Votto are primed to come back big this year. I think Roger Bernadina will make a solid impact too off the bench, and if Billy Hamilton isn't producing, well, he can still run for the pitcher in the eighth, can he not? It's practically a free run. Matt Latos is hurt, but it's not serious, and Johnny Cueto is good enough that Bryan Price named him the Opening Day starter. Even without Latos, they have four solid starters, and Alfredo Simon isn't bad himself. More than anything, the Pirates outplayed themselves last year, and they'll come back down to earth, just like they did two years ago, in the later stages of the season.
"The Nationals were one of the best teams in baseball two years ago. Last year was a down treat. What are they going to do to get "there"?"
Keep making progress. They are still young, and they're going to spend a long time together. They aren't where the Braves are, assuming the Upton brothers play a bit better than last year.
"Please explain the Marlins thing for the sake of my sanity."
Stanton will hit 50 homers and win 10 games on his own. Salty is going to benefit from Mike Redmond, who I'm really high on (catchers make good managers, ya know), and I am really, really high on Christian Yelich, who is gonna get thrown into the leadoff role now with Furcal out. Fernandez' talent is obvious and I think he'll be the best pitcher in the game this year. I'm well aware that you're going to disagree violently with me on this - everyone else probably will too.
"Why no love for the Red Sox in the playoffs? I feel like blatant fan-bias could be justified here."
Fan-bias? Coming from you? Classic.
The Red Sox aren't that good, but they weren't really that good last year, so we'll see.
And, for good measure - curling is a great sport because it's hilarious to watch, and cricket is actually pretty exciting, even if I don't understand it.
MLB Predictions! Dodgers, Yanks, Red Sox, Cards, Someone Else...Who'll Win it All?
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