yeah dude we are here. tell us about it. there will be no sarcastic tones. if there are they shall be scoffed at.

What can we do, my friend?

The thing that makes me GREAT at my job makes me suck as a husband...

Yeah, what's going on?

and what is that?

I have been to marriage counseling for 6 months now and our counselor has told us that I need an independent counselor because she can not help me. We are making no progress...

uh oh. so what is it with the job? workign hard with the job and the wife feels left out or what?

I was just invited to sleep in the guest room after dong all of the laundry in the house making dinner, picking both kids up from school and practice and a show...

oh dang

Long story short I have been drinking and she says that is unacceptable. I was totally sober while driving kids around and such. I honestly dont care that she is pissed. That is the whole problem....

So bottom line it. What's the big issue that the other issues hang from?

Ahh...that's the bottom line.

Perhaps it would be more useful to give the long story?

Also, did your counselor recommend anyone for you to see? It may worth a shot.

I would say something but then turn out to piss you off so I wont.

so which is more important the drinking or the wife? i mean it sounds like you did a great job today jsut keep showing her that

MMM a pony walks into the bar ...wait ...wait dangit a horse walks into the bar GOD Damit I screwed up the Joke

How much drinking is it? just a few? like the usual 3 or 4 after work lol? Or is it binge drinking?

Is there a reason why you need to drink?
And why is she so pissed about it?
And doesn't it say something that you don't care if she's pissed(no pun intended)?

I am a fireman and I dont care what happens to people and their stuff...
I have watched people die and I have been thanked for my pragmatic approach. I tell spouses what is happening and do so in a very matter of fact way. I try to be compassionate and clean up afterward. This may not make sense to most but in order to do this kind of work you can not be emotional.

but maybe there is a difference. those people you don't know personally. this is your family.

I am going to try to keep up with all of you but will fail miserably in the end....

I was refered to another counselor. I will not be seen untiol Dec 18th...
I know I have typos but forgive me....

its ok. well man i don;t know what you belive but i believe in it so i'll pray for you. have a good night. i hope it gets better. there is always hope. just keep up the stuff you did today

So your emotional blankness that makes you a kickass firefighter gives your wife the impression that you don't give a shit about your wife/marriage/home life?

I love my familly but I have an issue which is part of why i am being referred. I know right from wrong and believe I should be punished for any wrong. I am narcissistic...
If you are not sure what that is Google it...

These are rather personal questions, so feel free not to answer them, but:

Are you abusive when you drink? Do you neglect responsibilities when you drink? Are you using alcohol as a coping mechanism for what you've seen as a fire fighter?

If you feel drinking is the root of your problems, there are many support groups you can contact before you begin seeing your new counselor.

@ vamo- in a nut shell YES!!!

Ah..... i saw a show on daytime tele(yuk) the other day, and point is, it was ALL ABOUT this sort of thing... it was Dr Phil i think lol, and it was about firemen and police officers acting at home like they do at work, and their need to let go of work after its over.... not sure if that applies to you, but it seems that those in your sort of Job(And a commendable one it is too!), have a lot of deep rooted issues.... my advice is to get your own counselor to talk things thru with..... then maybe when u have things off your chest you might feel a little better... as for the drinking, well it all comes down to how much and when.... i doubt you drink at work... and there's nothing wrong with a few after work...

she is pissed but I honestly don't care. I know I should but I don't.

narcissistic- you love yourself to death and basically think you're top shit?
doesn't come across that way to me, at least on here....