Octavious: "I've done a bit of looking and there are a couple of options out there that can do the insurance somewhat cheaper. Is there any room for manoeuvre on your offer?"

Out of deph work experience sales girl: "Er... lets see... erm... I can take £80 off?"

Octavious: (stunned silence)......... "ok"

IS THAT IT??? ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ASK NICELY AND YOU MAKE IT £50 CHEAPER THAN ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE??? WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF BEING A DIPLOMACY TRAINED NEGOTIATOR IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO CAVE IN AT THE FIRST PROD?!?

All the fun is being taken out of life... I knew the signs were bad when I was tried to get a £5 book for half price at a second hand book shop (have to keep the skills hot ;) ) and they pre-emptively lowered it to a quid before I even said anything. Time to crawl into a corner and cry....

I'll trade you three chickens for an iPhone.

@ 2ndWhiteLine

Are they good egg layers?

I'm joking, of course. iPhones are barely worth a drumstick

Don't do it 2WL! IPhone 5 is probably coming out next week and you'll be able to get prior models for two chickens.

Make your way to Morocco my friend, and then try those shenanigans you speak of. ;)

Octavious only cares about a good lay.

@ The Hanged Man

It depends what you call high, really. For very high value items there is still a bit of fun to be had, it's true. The generous discount I got when I bought the other half's engagement ring was hard won and very satisfying. But you used to be able to get the same sort of experience in so many more places :(

@ Friendly Sword

Can't stand the local insects, otherwise I would. I had great fun in Egypt doing that sort of thing. It's amazing how many of the "off limits" sections of the temples and tombs you can see after a few pounds have exchanged hands. No photography, indeed! Ha!

Haggling in their markets was fun, too. They make excellent tea and have exceptional customer service, and they enjoy the art of haggling as much as me :)

But really, how many monkey paws do you really need?