when i was in my early 20's i used to work at a diner with a group of ny friends. we used to do stupid junk all the time, especially for birthdays. one such birthday was for my friend mike. several of us chipped in and bought him a live lobster, aquarium, and setup so he could have a pet lobster. we then brought it to work when mike was there.

needless to say, he thought having a pet lobster was strange so he decided that since he had never eaten lobster before, he would boil his new pet. so we got a pot from the kitchen of the restaurant, filled it with water and set it on the stove to bring to a boil. now we'd heard that lobsters scream when theyre placed in boiling water and none of us had balls big enough to put a screaming lobster into the pot. eventually one of us got brave enough and tossed it in....it sank pathetically to the bottom and died a quick silent death.

after it was cooked, he took the left claw, broke it off and tried the meat. he wasnt impressed and left the rest alone. after work we took the boiled lobster and put it in his fridge where it sat for at least a month. one day, after work, mike and i got a great idea. why not go to the store and dress it up in baby clothes and leave it on someones doorstep like an abandoned child. we got a complete newborn outfit and cheap stroller and got clothes on it and drove it out to another friends house with a group of about 5 of us around 11 pm. we set the baby on his porch, knocked and ran out into the yard to hide and see what he did. he came to the door and laughed his butt off. unfortunately,he was one of the guys that went in on the lobster with us and knew who set it there. i also had a hard time holding in a laugh and he knew we were in the yard so he came out to look for us. he chased us for a block before we stopped and decided to go throughout his neighborhood leaving it on random doorsteps to see peoples reactions.

we included an abandon note saying something like "please take care of my baby joey. he's sick and needs his medicine for his bad hand. please give him a good home." after leaving it on 3 porches and getting hilarious reactions, we decided to go out to another friends house, open the porch and leave the dead lobster inside (mind you this is around 2 am at this point)

apparently, when the family woke up (he still lived at home) and went to the foyer, they were met with said lobster. my buddy's sister thought it was so cute, they kept it for at least a month never knowing who put it there (remember it had already been dead over a month) and i have no idea why the mother allowed it to remain there for so long.

to this day, i still dont think he knows how it got there.