Thank you for putting up with my existence.
Hell, my parents could barely stand it. When I was 3 they shipped me off to Djibouti death camps in a box with one air hole. I survived off of the occasional mouse i would grab between my forefinger and thumb and strangle to death, before dismembering it, and eating each piece, one by one by one by one by one. After a while i had enough mouse tails and skull bones to create a grappling hook i could swing out of my air hole. I clung on to the side of the boat and dragged myself to a sharp edge that had been fractured on the railing, and i began grinding away at the metal crate for 2 more days. I freed myself two hours before the ship landed at the Djibouti death camp sites, and i managed to kidnap a crewman, cut off his face and wear it over my own. I stuffed his body into the crate and stuffed rats in there to eat the corpse, hoping they could tear enough flesh away to make him unrecognizable.
and just like that. i was never seen or heard from again, until 2008.
Barack Obama was campaigning fiercely against John McCain, but we wasn't winning enough of the swing states. I slowly began working my way through key counties and murdering thousands, and wearing their faces to the voting booths, committing mass voter fraud. I got him into office, after destroying his true birth certificate and murdering the lions that helped birth him in Djibouti. You see, he was never from Kenya, he only smelled like he was. His true family were pirates on the ship that carried his brother, the man whom i killed to escape. the ancient curse of the Djibouti pirates meant i had to install a dictator onto the world stage of the closest sibling to the man i killed, lest my soul never be at rest. Little did I know, America's first black president activated another... ancient curse. From the Mayans. You see, they had looked onto the stars, and the stars' lights come from hundreds of years past. But, where there is light, there is anti-light. This anti-light allows one to see into the future, and the Mayans used this to predict amazing things: Kennedy's assassination, Bush's orchestration of 9/11, the dollar menu at McDonalds. And... the first black president in America, would be followed by a rainbow of Presidents. The next would be orange, the ancient Enokian color-symbolizing anger. After that we'd have a purple president, leader of the ancient order of grapes. The we would have a green president, representing an end to global warming.
But hell will freeze over the day America cares about climate change, and the devil shall be forced onto earth.
The apocalypse is upon us.
But yeah, everyone needs to thank the mods more often. The amount of labor they put in is crazy, and all the support we can give them is great.
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Situation on the board
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