And then they all died....

...at the hand of Chuck Norris.

and then God caused all their atoms to be displaces permanently for eternity, and then God killed himself, but not before he said "the end."

But from out of the Ether, Riddick and Chuck Norris both appeared. Chuck said "Let the be ass kicking" and Riddick just said "That which you kill, you keep..." and the universe was restored to order, with the small exception of everyone having become undead zombies.

and then stephen hawkins divided by zero and THE GAME.

So Chuck Norris declared that, even though he thought about the game, he still won the game, because after all, he is Chuck Norris. Riddick, taking cues from Neo/Mr. Anderson, said "There is no game." therein allowing everyone to stop losing the game because there was nothing to think about.

I lose.

and then batman and the joker teamed up with the league of super best friends and took down the evil Norris tyrant. oddly enough they couldnt find riddick

So, Chuck, taking a cue from Agent Smith, shoved his hand into Superman (as only Chuck could do) and altered his makeup at the molecular level, making Superman a Chuck Norris clone. Meanwhile, Riddick, hiding out and waiting for his opportunity, put a plan together to bring down the Chuck Norris world by killing the original. He figured that, much like Vampires, if you kill the original, the rest will revert to their former selves. So, plan in hand, he set off to keep that which he was about to kill...

riddick wasnt counting on the chuck norris clone being able to xray his mind and see through his little plan though and met up with a nasty surprise when......

Chuck Norris' cross-dressing Grandpa attacking him from behind (in the behind).

After having spent so much time on various ultra-max prison planets, Riddick knew exactly how to handle this situation...

He enjoyed every minute of it and asked for seconds. But the cross-dressing grandpa was spent. As he sadly lay listening to the grandpa snore he felt a rumbling in his lower abdomen....

It was Alien, fighting Predator!

Chuck Norris and the Chuck Norris clone had long since left the scene to buy steaks and Riddick was alone with his new lover. He stood up and took three steps before the rumbling was unbearable. He squatted, still pantsless from the ravishing and relaxed his bowels...

out popped one eyed willies gold so he...

shoved it back in. Having been there for years, he know that wasn't the cause of the problem.

His bowels now rattled like a pillowcase full of kittens...

stuffed in a blender.

that is stuffed in another bigger blender full of tacks and aidz

and covered with chantilly.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

they forgot anything, cos they were watching the worldcup

and America actually made it out of teams this time, which led Chuck Norris to bitch slap Vladimir Putin just because he felt like it.

But then, KGB Zombies rose from the rose from the Earth and the epic war began...

The KGB Zombies attempted an invasion of Texas, but Chuck Norris Walker Texas Ranger pwnd them while Patrick Swayze roundhouse kicked them and said "roadhouse". Meanwhile - at the Legion of Doom - Peter was laughing while the KGB Zombies pulled back to a defensive position at Graceland.

And that's where they found Elvis, alive and fat.

So fat he couldn't move - at all. He was just a blob lying on the floor with a feeding tube up his nose.

And behind him was Bill Clinton, trying to get lucky with Elvis.