Yeah...

I am an expert on...well, probably not *anything* yet in life, but most certainly I'm not an expert on women.

And even *I* can tell--you overreacted, sir.

If there's one thing I've noticed from years of having girls as friends--well, among other thjings--it's this:

If you set a date to meet, you--the guy--will most likely try and be as prompt as possible...she'll likely be late, and think nothing of it, and come smiling along as if 10:30 were no different at all from 9:30. ;)

Same goes with social networking--send a guy a message, and he'll probably get back to you as soon as he can, to get the matter done with.

With a girl--you can send her a message and she'll either A. Wait quite a while before responding because...she can, and she probably has her own reasons for doing so, including the fact that generally women are a tad more communicative than men on such social network sites and with texts and the like, and so she could very well have many conversation threads, so to speak, going on with many people at once, and you get pushed to the side, not out of malevolence, but just lost in the shuffle, or B. She's ignoring that message because she does not want to talk to you. Period.



Same thing's happened to me--once with my best friend, and she and I were in the middle of our biggest fight ever, and I probably said something similar to whar you said to her when she didn't respond, as angry as I was at her because of the whole entirety of the fight, and we didn't talk for three months and if it hadn't been for some figuring out as to why things had happened this way (this whole fight was because of something that didn't make sense on the surface for her to be mad about, but once all was revealed, the devil was in the details) we'd probably never have talked again (thankfully, things got resolved there.

The other time was with a couple of friends I knew for four years, was perfectly nice to them, and probably too nice--a rarity for me, to be even nice at all, really--as in time, they just moved on, and I saw the reason why they weren't responding and just let it, them, go...people move on, after all (although I will say this--I've come to the opinion it's a GOOD thing to fight with one's friends, to be a bit combative and not be the over-nice person time and time again, because you sort of get to know one another better that way, and it's a LOT stronger of a friendship if you know you can and have fought before and things won't blow up as opposed to only ever talking about nice things, and then, well...then people move on, and the glass menagerie of friendship shatters. I'm still friends with the girl I had that huge fight with, as good as ever--no longer friends with the two who I was nice as can be to, so yeah...)

Just apologize to her, and if she accepts that apology and you get a dialogue going, ask why she didn't respond, and tell her why you were so unhappy about it...

And if she doesn't respond to that message--she's moved on, and so must you.

I just realized something. It took this same girl like 2 months to accept my initial friend request. And here I was yelling at her for waiting over week to reply to my message. I feel like an idiot now.

@obi: you really think I should apologize to her? I'm afraid she might think that to be 'stalkerish', like I'm panicking to get her back after she removed me from her friends list.

CM bro you can't compare with other people. It's not a race, I swear to God it's not.

I know plenty of people that still have not kissed anyone. And I'm 20.
I also know a fuckton of people that kissed no one at 15 and are now sex goddesses. So don't sweat it.

Also don't underestimate being single. This is tough even for me to say because I was recently left by I girl I still love, but being single has its advantages. I know you don't give a damn, I remember being where you are.

The beauty is this - those things that will make you most likely to get a girl are also those things that will make you happy in the long term. Work on personal development - become a bad-ass. Exercise is key, but also become well-read on a subject you like, delve into subjects also that you don't know much about, try to become well-rounded. Develop your music tastes.

Basically become an interesting person because girls love interesting men. No one wants to date a loser. And loser is not the same as nerd. A loser is a person who has nothing going on in their life.

As for cues a girl likes you. This is will help some but should not be taken as 100% always indicative of attraction:

-She contacts you independently for any reason other than needing you to do something for her.
-She laughs at your jokes.
-She occasionally says - "you're so [insert good thing]."
-She stands and sits closer to you than do other people girls especially.
-She off-handedly touches you during conversation.
-She asks you about you.

And if she starts setting up "dates" where it's just you and her... just kiss her when you two are alone, because she wants you. Make sure some of the above is true first though lol I don't want you to drop the ball.

10/10 would read again

Also I just wanted to give a big +1 to Thucy on his first post on the first page. Pretty much nothing to add to that, you'll go right a hell of a lot more than you go wrong with that.

Oh whoa Dan Savage agrees with me. Ba-da-bing.

CM,

Just join a fundie church. You can be married by age 17 and could be having babies by age 18. Then you'll win the race. Plus the fundie churches aren't interested in education but rather aim to procreate as much as possible. And many of the people save their first "kiss" for marriage or something like that. You'd fit right in. And it'd benefit the rest of us because you won't talk about masturbation anymore.

oh and another +1 for the post above my last one

and lmao @ Putin

@Thucy: Thank you, that's a big help.

CM, don't worry about the first kiss or anything of the sort. My current girlfriend didn't have hers until the end of senior year and I would never have known it. And I'm in that 3%, so watch what you say lol.

But all this has inspired me to work out again. I'd love to be back to benching more than I weigh...which is sadly increasing :( I guess I should be running too lol

Man I can't encourage anyone enough to work out and jog.

It increases quality of life ~40%

Also no way in hell I can bench more than I weigh that's like a long-term goal.

I'm 180 and max bench something like 130. One day maybe. But I am a squat god. I challenge you to a squat battle.

I probably need to get back to working out, at least benching. My arms are weak as shit and I'm the DH for a (rather ragtag) local baseball team. I can run pretty well though. idk what my squat numbers are, but I've got my own weight in max benching I'm pretty sure -- could consistently do 140 at the beginning of the semester and I lost a shitload of weight (well, several, 170 => 140), so unless I've lost some upper body strength (don't think so) then I've got my weight no prob.

But that's just because I'm a scrawny motherfucker lol

waaaaait a minute

I can't be the only one whose trolldar is going off right now

on who? me? I'm not trolling.

@CM:

Again, I'm no relationship counselor (or counselor of any kind, which is good, as I HATE those...but I digress.)

But in time...yeah, I'd apologize, even if you don't think you did anything wrong, because once she gets the feeling you didn't mean harm, and that you're sincere, maybe you can find out what this whole thing was about, if there was a reason she put it off, or if it just happened that way, or whatever...

But yeah, wait, don't jump in too quickly--but any dialogue is always better than no dialogue, as at least with dialogue you have a chance at finding some clues to solve the case, so to speak, and to fix things.

On the other hand, if you think she HAS moved on, just don't bother, really...

In the end, it's your call--there's no mathematical right answer here (and if there were, I wouldn't be able to give it to you.) :)

Ok, I'm going to bed. Thanks for your help, everyone.

Like obi would know the mathematically right answer even if there were one. ;)

Sorry CM, when someone openly talks about masturbation and using Yahoo! Answers as serious advice on this forum I just have to raise the troll flag, no offense meant

3-4 times a day?! I wouldn't be worried about a UTI so much as starting a forest fire at that rate!

You know, with three or four times a day, you probably have huge biceps.

...and suddenly, the phrase "working out" takes on an entirely new light

With girls its best not to show you care too much. If a girl doesn't pay you enough attention the best thing to act like you haven't actually noticed - because you are a fun guy with a lot of stuff going on. The last thing that you want to come across as is insecure.
Btw I totally feel for you conservative man. It's really hard for most young guys to figure women out (they will always remain a mystery, but you learn a few tricks over time).
Another tip... if you develop a crush on a girl and it builds up and up... ***resist the urge to tell her that you like her***. Chicks don't usually dig that. It is better to assume they like you. The other thing, men like to think they make the first moves, and often you will, but *really* the chicks give the green light first. Look for the green light. Do not make a move until you get the go-ahead. That's my theory anyway.
Make them laugh... you gotta be funny.

"Same goes with social networking--send a guy a message, and he'll probably get back to you as soon as he can, to get the matter done with." - And if the guy is anything like Obi, not only will his reply be prompt but it'll go on for ages and ages and ages.

"waaaaait a minute

I can't be the only one whose trolldar is going off right now" - krellin said something similar earlier, to be perfectly honest,I don't care if it is. It's not a terribly good trolling if it is. This is actually one of the most enjoyable threads I've seen in a while, and everyone is more or less agreeing with each other. So if he is trolling, it was a trolling that created a sense of unity on the forum. So yay!

"3-4 times a day?! I wouldn't be worried about a UTI so much as starting a forest fire at that rate!" - Clearly you've never had a UTI, it's so, so much worse than a forest fire.

"So if he is trolling, it was a trolling that created a sense of unity on the forum."

As I recall, CM has a habit of doing this (or at least the latter if he's not trolling), so yeah, I'm glad he's back, personally. lol.

Conservative Man, do not listen to obiwanobiwan. Do not apologize. Yet another message will only make you look even more creepy. You're raping a dead horse at this point.

What you did was stupid, but it was a small, dumb little high school thing. You've spent way too much time worrying about this already. Forget her, forget the message, and move on.

^I'm gonna go with a middle ground here... You probably need to do something to save face because girls your age talk to everyone about everything. Something concise and mature to show you're not a creep/idiot/etc. so the chick doesn't go around badmouthing you. But def. don't expect to get anywhere with her beyond a cleaner break off, and don't do it expecting to get anywhere else. You're doing it to make a not-as-sloppy break from a mistake, not to win her back over or anything like that.

Invictus, you'd be right if the target audience were more mature, but we're talking high school freshmen girls here. Letting it sit is probably not gonna end well. You know how they blow shit outta proportion...

===

And just for the record, I'm nineteen, in a relationship approaching seven months old now, and it's my first real relationship. I've had a couple brief flings that didn't end well before that, but as you can (hopefully) see, I'm a perfectly functional human being, and my relationship right now happens to be one of the most enriching experiences of my entire life. Sitting out relationships in high school got lonely at times, and has left me relatively inexperienced, but it was still one of the better decisions I've made.

All that to say that you're perfectly fine if you don't kiss someone by 15/have sex by 16/whatever kind of checklists you're setting. In fact it's better if you don't set those kinda checklist-style goals. If you want a girlfriend and you see a (single) girl you like, go for it, remembering the advice in here; otherwise, don't worry about it.

I think an apology is in order. You can't change the fact you made a fool of yourself, but you try to be a decent person.

What I mean is, this isn't just you and whether you save face. Forget that. Think about her feelings. She is probably insecure too (most kids are) and what you did might have been hurtful.

Typo.. This isn't just *about you and whether you save face...