"When I tell people I'm never going to drink, they look at me like I'm crazy. Like no sane person would ever make that decision."

Do what you want, but there will be repercussions. If you're The Guy Who Doesn't Drink in college you'll have a rough time. The reality is booze is a social lubricant, and if you won't even have a beer with your friends you'll find yourself with few friends, and even fewer girls. And that's nothing compared to when you're Sober Guy Who's Judging Us Mocking Everyone In The Office at happy hour once you have a real job. That's assuming you're even invited.

You can make the choice if you want, but being a teetotaler is much more of an aggravation than just stopping at one drink.

Ignore invictus. I'm the Guy who is invited to happy hour but only drinks diet coke cause I have a wife waiting for me at home and everyone respects that. As far as college went, I drank one time after a rough final in Assembly. I wasn't there to have fun. But I was there to get an education and did just that. College is for getting ahead in life, not partying.

No, Invictus makes some very good points
Unless you're going to college in Utah, drinking is going to be a major part of many social gatherings

everything in moderation simple i have been to uni/college twice 2 seperate degrees the first time i went to all my lectures etc went out and got drunk about 4 times a week, now im older i go to all my lectures and i go out once maybe twice a week max.like i said in moderation

Draugnar +1

College isn't about fucking social gatherings. It's about 4 years of studying to get a degree so you can have a real career. Fuck the social gatherings bullshit. I stopped worrying about social gatherings of classmates when I graduated high school 27 years ago.

I successfully enlisted my floor in the dorms to have an intervention for my alcoholic roommate. Twenty of us took a pledge not to drink at all to help him out, and granted five or six fell off the wagon but the rest of us continued to have a good sober time, hanging out playing cards and playing video games during our downtime, and pretty soon, the girls started coming to hang out too. There's plenty of people out there that don't want to drink, and the people who only want to be your friend if you pass certain conditions (if you drink, do drugs, whatever) aren't worth having as friends.

Don't change yourself, especially in damaging ways, for the purposes of fitting in. I have, in the past, and I regret it still.

SacredDigits +1

Invictus that's a load of horse shit. I didn't drink until I was a junior in college and I never lacked friends, male and female. Some of them drank, some didn't. Even now, I drink the least of all my friends (except for the one that doesn't drink at all). In fact, my friend who drank the most when I was an undergrad is now an alcoholic.

Saying alcohol is a social lubricant is only true for people with low self esteem and bad personalities.

+1000 abge. I am a junior in college and I don't drink. I have many friends and am quite happy. I am not some kind of bullied outcast like Invictus would think I am.

Also, if you're known as the one who doesn't drink, people like to have you around in case shit hits the fan.

"College isn't about fucking social gatherings. It's about 4 years of studying to get a degree so you can have a real career. Fuck the social gatherings bullshit. I stopped worrying about social gatherings of classmates when I graduated high school 27 years ago."

What a miserable life you must have. Making friends and getting good grades aren't mutually exclusive unless you make it that way, which it looks like you did. And yes, drinking is a big part of that. You don't have to get blacked-out like some moron, but having a drink in your hand (even if it's your one drink and you only end up finishing about half) is a ridiculously easy way to meet people and put everyone at ease.

"Don't change yourself, especially in damaging ways, for the purposes of fitting in. I have, in the past, and I regret it still."

I agree with the damaging part, and you're obviously a good friend. I even had a similar situation with a friend of mine, though in his case it was more of a family issue. However, if you don't change yourself for the purposes of fitting in you could easily become a 30 year old man with Pokemon bedsheets and perpetually dry genitalia. You should never betray your fundamental morals, but you've got to adapt to the norms of society. To say that you should never change yourself is absurd. Maybe one sucks and needs to change.

There are many ways to meet people. Alcohol is one of them, yes. But to say it is difficult to meet people without a drink in your hand is absurd.

Don't judge people for drinking.
Don't judge people for not drinking.

abgemacht, all I mean is that it's easier to make friends if you can sit down and have ONE drink with them rather than have to go through the rigamarole of being a teetotaler. Anyone can make the choice, I just think it's a lot more aggravation to not drink at all than to drink moderately.

"Saying alcohol is a social lubricant is only true for people with low self esteem and bad personalities."

Not understanding how true that is is only true for people who have a prejudice against alcohol.

But do judge people for drinking & driving ;-)

"There are many ways to meet people. Alcohol is one of them, yes. But to say it is difficult to meet people without a drink in your hand is absurd."

In situations where alcohol is being drunk (happy hour the first week at work, the early parties in college) not drinking brands you as That Guy. It's not fair at all, but it's what happens a lot of the time.

And one last time, I'm talking about drinking in super-moderation here. Getting a buzz isn't even required. It's all about the social context.

@Invictus - no, I didn't make it exclusive. But the point of college was to get good grades and graduate so I'd have a bright future. That was my first and foremost goal. I had plenty of friends, some of whom drank and some who didn't. The non-drinkers weren't shunned by the drinkers any more than the non-smokers were shunned. Now, perhaps things are different today than in the mid and late 80s, but saying someone is going to be a social pariah because they don't drink and telling them to go against their conscience and do it anyway is morally irresponsible of you.

If one's "friends" don't accept that one doesn't drink, then they aren't real friends and I say "Fuck 'em!"And if College is all about social circles, then your are in college for all the wrong reasons. College is about making well rounded individuals and getting a leg up on your future. Well-rounded includes socially, but not to the detriment of one's education (drunken parties every night) or one's core beliefs.

I disagree. I've never had a problem making friends and not a *single* one of my friends did I meet while I was drinking.

I have no problem with alcohol. As I said, I so drink and I have many friends who drink. What I have a problem with is idiots telling children they'll be social outcasts if they don't drink. It simply isn't true.

I can see Invictus' point. I drink quite a bit, but also know where my limits are. The industry I work in has a major drinking culture (I don't condone it but its a fact.) It's also a very freelance environment and the majority of work comes from who knows who or even being in the right place and the right time, which is often a bar.

I do agree, it doesn't even need to be more than one beer, but declining one social drink after work can lose you opportunities. Again, I'm not endorsing it in anyway it's just a fact.

Draug +1

@abgemacht +1

@Invictus - I'm 45 years old. I drink maybe one drink a month. I've never had a drink with a person from work in my first week on a new job, or my first month for that matter. I have gone out and had a drink with them after we were already friends, but never felt the need to make friends by lubricating myself with even one drink. It is *not* necessary and it is easier to make real friends without the alcohol influencing it.

Oh, and I was married at 23 and neither I or my wife had a drink together before our wedding night. She can't drink for medical reasons and I chose not to drink around her. 22 years later, I still only have an occasional Vodka or Scotch at home, a Corona or Dos Equis that we split at a Mexican restaurant over fajitas, or a cider from BJ's with a flatbread pizza when I'm around her.

So no problem getting my genitalia wet when I was in may late teens and early 20s but didn't drink.

It's simple. By not drinking AT ALL you limit yourself. If you limit yourself life is harder.

Not drinking will not make you a complete social outcast, but it will block you from an entire world that is literally only one drink away.

And don't throw the children bunk at me. Virtually every non-Muslim country has a lower drinking age than America. Like virtually everything that comes along with alcohol, it's entirely a social construct.

Thank you pjmansfield99. That's all I was saying. This is just a fact of how things are, and the world is easier if you imbibe at least a little bit.

What world will it block you from? Not drinking has never prevented me from doing anything.

Oh, and cranberry and grapefruit mixed together looks like a seabreeze but has no alcohol. It's what I do at business functions. Get there early and find out who the waitress is and let her know all your drinks should be virgins. You can order about any Vodka drink and your entourage will never know the difference. Plus, you can have multiples so they think they are getting the upper hand in the business deal and still be totally sober so you don't get taken advantage of.

And if one of them buys you a drink by walking up to the bar. Put it in your hand and sit it on the table, but don't drink it. The reason booze is so pushed at business meetings is to get people to agree to things they'd never agree to sober.

And don't *ever* drink on an interview. I don't care if it is an interview and the interviewer is drinking. Use the virgin tactic if you have to, btu I have found most dinner interviewers appreciated that you *didn't* want to get drunk on their dime.

@Invictus - your world is clearly different than mine. Not drinking in work circles (interviews, dinner meetings, etc) has been a boost to my career, not a limiter.

By feeling the need to order virgins on the sly you prove my point. I even said you never needed to get buzzed, just follow the social norm of drinking and getting to know people.

All I ever said was that it was harder to teetotal than drink a little bit. You have to construct this elaborate ruse when in a situation where alcohol is served since you don't drink. That's fine, even admirable with your wife's medical situation. But the fact remains that it's harder to do that than just knock back a drink like everyone else. That's the point I was always trying to make.

I've never used an elaborate ruse like Draug. Tell me-what am I missing out on?