And Conservative Man had made it most delicious. faceeater asked if Conservative Man would remain with him prepairing faces for at least a year. Conservative Man asked only that he be paid enough money for....

Actually, Conservative Man was willing to do it for free. So they went to find The Ghostmaker.......

But TheGhostmaker wasn't there. Instead they find this guy whose name was a fruit and he liked to do the Squidge, whatever the hell that is.

But then TheGhostmaker jumped from the shadows and killed fruit-Squidge, thus making him a ghost. "You don't find TheGhostmaker, TheGhostmaker finds you" he said.

And then the war started.

Riddick quickly reminded TheGhostmaker that this story isn't set in Soviet Russia and sent TheGhostmaker to meet his maker.

Which was himself, since he became a ghost and he's the ghostmaker.

between the squidgelpeople and the ghostaholics

Riddick was really Clinton in Riddick clothing, still sad over the loss of his true love and furious at the poles for lying to him. Nevertheless he had set TheGhostmaker into an endless frenzy of killing and making himself for all of eternity. The ghostaholics had no leader and were easily defeated by the squidgelpeople. Conservative Man had plenty of faces to prepare....

And I served faceeater squidgelface on a stick. But faceeater wanted the face of their leader, the face of figlesquidge.

faceeater's tantrum grew larger by the minute. It wasn't the kind of tantrum that a powerful world leader would have, it was the kind you'd expect from an upset 2 year old. Conservative Man served the face and faceeater ate it then he slept soundly, having used all his energy crying and thrashing around during the tantrum.

And then the ghosts of figlesquidge and ghostmaker came together and united the ghostaholics and the squidgel people into one giant army.....

It looked like then end. The army was prepared to move against the entire planet, ending life once and for all. Suddenly, the clouds parted and texasdeluxe, the creator, came down from the sky. "Enough!" he bellowed, "Though I have not posted since June 11th I have been watching and I can no longer allow this to continue. I will set things back in order and return to the sky. I ask only for Clinton in Riddick's clothing to come with me, what do you say?"

"we're not worthy! We're not worthy!" the ghostly squidglefruit people called out in one voice. The ghosts fo Theghostmaker and Figlesquidge looked around, worried. Riddick just smiled from the shadows knowing he had never really been killed and reanimated - it was just one of his ghoulas.

One day, Riddick was walking down the street when he spotted a $20 note.

Remembering all that had happened in his flash, he suddenly realized the world was on a collision course with it's "Final Destination", so he turned around and hid in the shadows waiting for someone lese to pick up the cash. "What you kill, you keep" he muttered to no one in particular.

But a certain executioner that happened to be walking right by him heard that.

Riddick quickly and stealthily slit the executioners throat, took his cloak, and disguised himself, hiding the body under Margaret Thatcher's rose bushes.

And then Chuck Norris came and kicked Riddick's butt.

Although this was the actual Chuck Norris, and not the Chuck Norris of teh interwebz. He had Mike Huckabee's help in kicking Riddick's butt.

But once again Riddick hid in the shadows, watching as the whole play unfolded just as in his flash. Riddick kicking ghoula ass. Clinton licking ghoula ass. Clinton licking Norris ass... And finally the return of texasdeluxe from the sky. But this time Riddick got the 20 and spent it on a cheap hooker who looked amazingly like Kiera Knightley.

And then superman came.

...and Lois Lane was sent into orbit by his super soaker wang.

Then she shed her body, and her neck used the energy from superman's love juice to form a booster that launched her head into deep space.

And inside her head was bill clinton.

Who's parents must have been oracles, because they named him many years in advance "B.J."

Clinton was in fact piloting Lois' head through space. He came up on an asteroid belt. The on board navigation A.I. warned him that his survival odds were 40% at the current speed. He sped up slightly and remained on his current course. Suddenly a transparent Riddick appeared on front of him with a far away look in his eyes. "You promised me you'd be safe."
"You promised me you'd never leave, I guess we both lied." Clinton replied to the image before putting on a blindfold

Editors Note: I thought this thing had died...

Suddenly, Han Solo appeared beside Clinton and took over the controls of Lois's head. Bill complained that the odds of them surviving were approximately 2 to 3, but Solo just replied "Never tell me the odds!"

"And what are the odds?" thought Bill, Han Solo was a nice enough guy, but he had never intended to fall in love with another rough and tumble character like Riddick.
Han had no idea that Bill felt that way about him. To him this was just another job. He noticed that Bill looked at him with doe eyes, constantly undressing him in his mind. The idea sickened him. "Is there any man in this whole universe who isn't gay?" He thought. "I need to get Bill to Barry the pirate. I'll exchange him for the reward, steal his ship and fill his seat with a big breasted female... If I can find one."