So, there is this girl I like(d). She was in my spansih class last year, but I never got the courage to talk to her face to face. And I can't now, because school is out. But I am friends with her on Facebook. So I decided to send her a message on Facebook with my phone #, and told her she could text me if she wanted to. Here was the message: Hey, I'd really like to get to know u so here's my # so u can text me if u want: *******

I waited for a week for her to text me or at least reply to the message, but she ignored it. She was definitely on Facebook, because she posted statuses and stuff, including one where she asked people to send her messages! So obviously she was checking her messages, and would have had time to write a reply. But still she ignored me. So after that week I sent her this message: ya know, if u didn't want to text me, u could have a least said no on here and gave a reason why.

Isn't it common decency to give a polite no? But still she ignored that, even though she was on Facebook. So the next day I sent her this message: Are u seriously still ignoring me, or are u just not getting these messages for some reason? Is there something wrong with me or something? If u don't want to text me, I'm fine with it. Just say so on here, so I'm not left all confused.

She ignored that too. So the day after that (yesterday) I just got fed up and sent her this message: You're still ignoring me? I was tyring to give u the benefit of the doubt and assume something else was happening besides u being a bitch, but now I realize that is exactly wat u are. I'm done with this shit now.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I did overreact a bit. But come on, don't you think she was being a bitch? The strange thing is, she has not blocked me. I would think that after getting that message, she would block me, so maybe she really hasn't seen him. And also, in case you're thinking what I did was sort of stalkerish (I see how it could be contrued that way), don't you think she would have blocked me if she thought that. But she never did.

So anyway, my question. Do you think she was being a bitch, and do you think I did the right thing my overreacting, or was it a horrible call?

Simply not answering you does not constitute "being a bitch". You overreacted, plain and simple.

It is every woman's right to be a bitch (well... maybe not, but there's not a damned thing we can do to stop them so no point getting miffed about it).

However, you have lost many man points via your pitiful over reaction, which will no doubt end up with her and her friends and her friend's friends having you marked down as a bit of an arse. Poor play, sir!

Agreed with TWA and Octavius.
She might have not received the messages, which means she can't respond, or she might have gotten them and chose not to respond, which is entirely her right. She has no obligations to answer to you, especially after the stalkerish and rather offensive messages.
I suggest that you do not send these kinds of messages again.

Your feelings were justified, but your actions were ill-advised. Should have played it cool.

3 replies with no response, tops, spaced by at least 3-4 days each. Your first, the second asking if she was intentionally ignoring you but being polite about it. The third regretting that she didn't seem to want to talk to you and letting her know you would still be glad to get to know her sometime, and wish her a good life. Then forget it. That maximizes your chances with her and is also the right thing to do, and also leaves room for some kind of extenuating circumstance if she really didn't get your messages yet.

Diplomacy should have taught you how to deal with it! You don't cuss out people who stab you do you? No you joke around with them try to get some rapport and try to leverage them back on your side, and, if you fail, you were a gentleman in the end.

Lol.

Anyway welcome back. Are you still anarchist?

Also, would you be willing to take over the Ghost-ratings?

Lol

This is 100% your fault.

Your first message was poorly written. You gave her two options: text you or don't. She chose not to, at which point you shouldn't have contacted her again. All of your other messages where inappropriate.

What may have been better would have been to start a conversation with her, such as: "hey, you may know me from Spanish class, have you been enjoying your summer, etc." This serves as an opening to a conversation. Again, she may ignore you, but at least you give her something to talk about. Just giving her a phone # is putting all the initiative on her end, something you should always avoid if you like a woman.

At this point, I would just stop talking to her; I really don't see how you can make things better, as she'll no doubt think you're a bit creepy. But, don't distress as there are plenty of fish in the sea. And, no you know better for next time.

I will agree though that in my own personal experience there is nothing more infuriating than receiving no reply, whether that's in personal messages or rejection letters from jobs and schools. The sending of rejection letters is very very underrated. In my own life I try to make sure to respond. Golden rule and all. But you can't guarantee how other people treat you even if you try to do right by them.

+1 to abge

@Thucy,

But what would you do if someone sent you a message saying "here's my #?" If I wasn't interested, I'd ignore it, too. It's a terrible, terrible opening. If someone actually asked me how my summer was going, I would respond, even if I didn't like them, because it's polite.

Oh no I agree with you the first message was poorly played. I meant more in general tone.

@zultar: Only the last message was offensive, and I would regret sending it, except I don't really care what she thinks of me anymore.

@Thucy: Yeah, I guess I did mess up. I just got so frustrated. But since she ignored me, I don't really like her anymore, so I'm fine with it. I'm still surprised she hasn't blocked me though. Maybe she doesn't really care about what I said, lol.
Anyway, you just reminded of a time when I was playing diplomace, and I stabbed someone, and then they actually did start cussing me out!
Also, I'm not an anarchist anymore. I'm a Libertarian, and I would say I'm a minarchist, but I think the government should control the economy more (but still leave a mostly free market), so I can't be a minarchist.

@abge: While I disagree that it is 100% my fault, I really don't want to get into that argument again. I know I overreacted, but there's always next time. So whatever. As you said, now I know better.

Also, regarding the first message, I had originally been planning to ask her for her number, but then I became worried that she might give me a fake, so I decided to give her my number instead. Would that have been a better way to go, or would it have been just as bad?

Why would you ever think this is a good idea?

NERD RAGE.

oh god. Maybe you shouldn't be so creepy. in addition just going "HERP DERP YOU CAN TEXT ME IF YOU WANT TO" is basically a sure way for her to NOT want to talk to you.

No, I think asking for numbers out of the blue is a poor strategy. You had a means to contact her already: Facebook. You should have stuck to that until you saw if she was even remotely interested in you.

We to caring what she thinks: you should care in that she has friends who you probably don't want to be blacklisted from.

I can't wait to see these messages on lamebook!

@kingdroid

You just made me lol in the restaurant.

@abge: That makes sense. The thing is, I asked on yahoo answers if they thought I should ask for her # (after giving them the back story), and the general consensus was that I should do it. Of course, a lot of the answerers on Y!A are liars or idiots, so it was probly a bad idea to trust them.

Now, I actually did try to start a conversation with her a couple months ago, without asking her for her number. Here's how it went:
Me: hey! its that one girl that i dont really know
her: Yeah...

I didn't know hot to respond to that answer, so I just left it at that. What do you think about that?

Why has no one pointed his first mistake? The one where he did not talk to her when he had the chance. As for her not clicking ignore on facebook, maybe she is passive aggressive.

What I am struggling with is understanding how Conservative Man got into these difficulties. Surely one just speaks to a girl, she then recognises your fundamental awesomeness, and her number is thrust upon you?

@Octavious: While a know that is sarcastic, that actually does sort of seem to be the way it usually works with teenagers. I have seen so many girl's facebook statuses basically say "talk to me and ask for my number". So that is what I attempted to do. (except I gave her my number cause I was afraid she's give me a fake)

@ kestasjk, I now see the light! I do not think I can thank you enough for adding the mute button after reading this thread.

"hey! its that one girl that i dont really know"?

Good grief. That made me uncomfortable just reading it.


When I was in high school every relationship I had grew out of asking the girl to a dance. I suggest that strategy, Conservative Man.

@Con Man, if you are worried about her giving you a fake number, why on earth would you think she would choose to text you?

@Invictus: Even girls you didn't know at all? Cause I would feel really weird asking a girl I didn't know to a dance.

@quebe: I though there was a small possibility of her giving me a fake, but that she probably wouldn't, but I wanted to avoid any possible embarrassment that would come from actually sending a text to the fake number. I was pretty sure she wouldn't give me a fake, as I was also pretty sure she'd text me. But apparently, I was wrong.

Well, you wouldn't ask a girl you didn't know to a dance. That's retarded. You ask a girl who you know and have talked to and get along with.

If you're asking for girl advice online, then you've already failed. Talk to a real person about this.

Anyway, in regards to her telling her friends about this, do you think I should apologize so that she might not do it? Do you think she already has? Do you think it's too late to apologize and I shouls just completely forget about it? What should I do next?

@Invictus: I have 2 friends who are girls. I am not attracted to either of them. So that wouldn't work for me. This was my attempt at becoming friends with an attractive girl.