It's Sciencefictionology. L. Ron Hubbard even admitted he made it up to make money, but some whack jobs still believe in it (like Tom Cruise).

If money and fame are your objects then old Tom seems to be doing all right.

its got a lot to do with some galatic warlord from a couple of eons ago that ruled our part of the universe and buying some machine that blocks out some kind of scientifically undetectable energy waves so to remove all negative things in your life.
batshit crazy stuff .
they recruit via drug rehabilitation clinics and generally people going through breakups, bankruptcy etc, people who are staring at the abyss and wondering whats it all for and then Shazam! , hey its not your fault at all! its aliens sending energy waves that have caused you life to be so fucked up.
batshit crazy

haha acosmist nice that made me lol despite my sleeping roomate.

the lack of punctuation made it rather funnier

:hifive: happy to help, Thoos

also lol i was laughing when i saw that my bogus thread to promote a live game caused this thread.

a game that turned out to have three multis... but whatever. it was fun

This really isn't too difficult to understand, Hubbard and his apostulates where pioneers in the field of what later became known as DNA. Some of the earliest observations that Hubbard noted was that very occassionaly some of the forerunner of DNA (which he called 'ChanLink') would be exactly duplicated from a rodent that died in 1953 into a bird that Hubbard had observed in 1976. To Hubbard, this could only mean one thing - the rodent had been reincarnated. Various experiments took place and it is reported that some of Hubbard's followers actually took their own lives so that Hubbard could try and trace their 'ChanLink' through any other species. In those days it was difficult to extract DNA/'ChanLink' from the living. Some of Hubbard's experiments have been criticized because he wasn't particular enough about sterilising some instruments, others think that these rumours are the establishment's efforts to distablish a pioneering religion.

Hubbard's break through came when an apostule of his was working on the NASA space program and ran some tests on some tiny organiisms found on the pads of a unspecified NASA landing craft which had been in contact with an unnamed planet. The apostulate apparently knew where the craft had been and was going to give a press conference but he was killed by a freak accident on his way to the studio. Anyway, the 'ChanLink' of the organism on the pads of this un-named craft that had been on the un-named planet exactly matched the 'Chanlink' of one of Hubbard's assistants who had volunteered to lay down his life years before. The only explanation to this was that our 'Chanlink'/DNA comes from outside of our planet.

The Church of scientolgy is now split between two fractions, those who believe that man came from another planet looking almost exactly as they do today and have collectively blocked out the horrors of what happened to their last planet, and another fraction that believes that man had not evolved enough to remember anything when the made the journey here. A third much smaler splinter group believe that the 'previous' incarnation of our outer galatorial selves is in fact a 'future' version of ourselves and they is why we can't remember our coming to this planet. Even within the world of Scientology, these followers are regarded as cranks.

There has been various customs that have grown up around scientolgy over the years like 'auditing' (Taking money from people and examining their faults); Triangulation (Getting people to draw lots of triangles until you see a mouse); and jumping of sofas. Only the ultra-orthodox scientologist really perform the later.

Now that I have hopefully enlightened you all please feel free to make a donation to the research which I'm sure you understand is very expensive as it has to take in the whole of the universe.

Any questions?

When I read "jumping of sofas" I actually died.

I died at the landing pad from an unspecified lander that returned from an unnamed planet. Last I checked, we've never had a lander return from the moon, much less *visit* a planet.

lander

I barely know 'er

doesn't sounds as crazy as christianity's explanation for human life on earth, it still seems somewhat illogical, but it's a start

An astronauts spacesuit could count as a lander.

"doesn't sounds as crazy as christianity's explanation for human life on earth, it still seems somewhat illogical, but it's a start"

lol

man I hate reading Anselm too

@Draugnar "Last I checked, we've never had a lander return from the moon, much less *visit* a planet" - That's what they want you to believe.

What's funny about scientology is that Hubbard actually explicitly admitted on more than one occasion that he viewed scientology as a business, and he only ever sought to have it classified as a religion for tax purposes. Yet you still get people believing in it as a religion.

Nutjobs.

I have two links for you:
http://www.xenu.net/

and

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/104274/?tag=Galactic+Lord+Xenu

why so surprised... ALL religion is the same bat-shit crazy bull*shit... all of it is used as a business and as a means of control... Scientology is no diffferent and no crazier than the 'mainline' religions that dominate our F'ed up planet.

so good for Hubbart... at least his is more inventive than the genesis of adam and eve, or the 72 virgins in heaven or the parting of the red sea...

never mind the fabulous magic undergarments of the mormons.

"all of it is used as a business and as a means of control."

lol

I know my pastor is rolling in the benjamins

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD9bCdHqU3s

yeah it is a ridiculous religion...all a scam

your pastor is small potatoes... in fact, i'd say most clergy are high on the same opiates they are selling to the masses... its like a dealer who'se smokin' his own s***

Now I what I don't get is why do people need this ( religon). My Dad is a doctor rather wealthy and generly is a smart man but he takes this religous BS so seriously and is devoted to the church ( Orthodox Christian) and spends hundreds of dollars in donations. Why i have been going to church my whole life and everytime i go it makes me see even more how much bull crap alll of it is

Read "The Bare Faced Messiah" -- the author allows it to be reproduced online. It's a full-length book, and it's basically a combo biography of Hubbard and the story of Scientology. Suffice to say he's a con artist and a nutjob, and his religion is bizarre and so ridiculous it defies belief.

It's a very entertaining read for the most part. Here is one location:

http://www.clambake.org/archive/books/bfm/bfmconte.htm

I laugh at those people who think they are above everyone else and have the nerve to put down a religion, when it is equally farfetched as every other religion.
I am not religious at all, but who am I to rank them in order of how "probable" they are.

Instead of trying to put down scientology, maybe people should question the most dominent religion in the world. How can someone call themselves a Christian and not be a socialist, is something to start with.

wooooo +1

Surely, wooooo, you see that in putting down all religions by calling them "farfetched" you are making an exclusive truth claim. You are in fact developing a... gulp... religion.

equally, huh

you keep using that word

I do not think it means what you think it means

And Babak I'd ask you the same question as woooo. And additionally, would you really consider the Amish, for example, on the same level as Muslim terrorists?