I guess goat fucking is included somewhere in the answer

I would see how far up the goat's ass I could put the slinky. With any luck, he will either
A - scream loud enough to get help
B - make ME scream loud enough to get help
C - Learn to fly, and carry me out

Actually his was completely decent

ahhahahaah rommerltastic

Does it involve killing the goat?

Nothing. You're in paradise, obviously.

Sacrifice the goat with the slinky (strangle it) to Zeus, and he shall divinely deliver you from your hole.

thucy, lofuckingl

That was pretty much his answer Thucy.

Escape? You've got food, water, privacy, and a slinky! The only problem might be the bathroom situation, but a well probably has a bucket somewhere.

Kill the goat, drain it's innards & make a rope out of its intestines

haha, that's exactly what I was goign to say figles.

Rip the goats horns off and use them as Crampons to climb out

So disgusting yet resourceful. But I like Thucy's answer better. :D

I agree Steven. However, I'm just preparing for the situation.
If the Goat has no horns (may have had them removed to keep owner safe) then you could cut off its legs and use the bones to make an axe (suggest pelvis for the blade) and try to dig your way out. An advantage of this is that when you need to get your breath back the goat will act as a soft heated seat.

That last part had me cracking up. Might I suggest using the goat's skull to store some flesh for food while you're still preparing for the climb?

Oooh, good plan. As long as you climb at a respectable pace, you should be able to get out fast enough that your climbing implements still contain warm nutritious bone marrow.

Skin the goat, and then shave the skin. You now have a large bag of skin. Tie up most of the holes in this, and you have a balloon. Using the goat fat as fuel make a fire, and you now have a hot air balloon. Now, using a very generous approximation to laws of physics this balloon will be able to carry you out of the well.

Alternatively, you could cut the slinky in two, and attach a part to the sole of each foot.
Now start jumping up and down, and soon enough you'll be bouncing high enough to escape. Once out, fetch a rope to rescue the goat - its not his fault that he's in a well.

I think you are mistaking a slinky with an industrial strength spring, figle.

I still say you sacrifice the beast to Zeus

Fair point jim. Well then...
1) Break the goats neck (limit undue pain)
2) Rip off it's legs
3) Sharpen two of the bones to form spears
4) fasten the ends of the slinky to two of these
5) Attach the middle of the slinky to a rock or similar at the base
6) Throw the spears such that they jam in the sides near the top of the well
7) Release the slinky from under the rock and let it catapult you out of the well

Phone the Bush administration telling them you found oil, and wait for the US Army to forcibly evict you from the well.

Man, you guys in Europe have WAY better slinky than we do. Ours would snap like a twig. I want one of yours.

@Figle - And people say *my* mind is scary...

I met figle a little over a week ago. I'm told by my psychiatrist that I might recover by 2013 if I'm lucky....

fortunately i have no psychiatrist, but i'm still laughing at rommeltastic answer

I don't have a psychiatrist, although I must admit I did take a bet with one of my friends over which of us would get sectioned first.
re Jim: You can get cheap plastic ones yeh, but some of the metal ones I think would be quite good. If you have trouble then you could double it up.

Hmm, should probably finish this post with another suggestion. How about sit there and tell yourself that next time you dream your family will worship you or Dad gives you a nice coat you'll keep your mouth shut?

lol, maybe I'll need a psychiatrist soon, if i continue reading this kind of stuff

sanity is for the weak!

If you put some of its innards on its front then put it backwards, you could use the goat as a toga to keep you warm.

Sorry, once I realised I had to say it. :(

ahahahahaha, wow that last one was absolutely amazing. Hilarious. And if anyone here is crazy, it's me. trust me.

"Hmm, should probably finish this post with another suggestion. How about sit there and tell yourself that next time you dream your family will worship you or Dad gives you a nice coat you'll keep your mouth shut?"

lmao. nice. i dont think they had slinkies in genesis' day though

remember to always give a reach around when fucking a goat!

Otto - I don't suppose you know who Russell Howard is?
Crazy - what did the blogger suggest? Please don't let it be a terrible lateral thinking solution.

no I don't just looked him up, he's english, that's why. i don't think he's been on american tv and i hadn't heard of him before you mentioned him. why? is he funny?

yeah- he's funny.
@figles- did you see the thing about giving a goat a reach around on Russel Howard's good news?

I just made it up. but yeah he is pretty damn funny

His solution was like Thucydide's, he figured hey you've got food, water, privacy, and your very own slinky. As long as you've got a bucket for the bathroom why would you want to escape?

kill the goat with the slinky
use the goats entrails as a rope and the slinky as a grapple
throw "rope and grapple" out and it wraps around a tree
someone sees this and calls the police
i get rescued and roast the goat to celebrate

very text adventure style akilies

re Dave - Yeh, although I think he talked about a cat? That was why I mentioned it though.
re Hell - haha, yep. I can imagine that coming up in a [very boring] MUD (yep, even my in my generation some of us went on MUDs - although it was mainly MOOs for me).
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Whole trouble with this plan is that as akilies hints near the end of this, even if you were to escape and thus save your life, some crazy animal rights campaigner would get you arrested. Still, you wouldn't be in a well.

haha well to my alleged animal rights campaigner i would offer some of my roasted goat with a nice cold drink, and he/she would no longer be an animal rights campaigner but instead would buy land and make a goat farm where they could enjoy roasted or any kind of goat they desired.

Oooh, thats a good point. Could you just wait in the well until the rainy season, when it would fill up and you could climb out.

i don't think wells fill up that much, even in the rainy season.