Not a pun ^

yes pat
good churchie memes still running about
zingers

Why are Diplomacy players emotionally draining friends?

What would a hill of cats be called?

A meowtain.

What do you call cars who try to make a thread go to the top in webdip?
BUMPer cars

Bump

A couple adopted a pair or twins who had been fostered in Spain and morrocco, Amal, and Juan. The boys grew up happy and went to college and moved away. Juan proved to be a dutiful son who frequently wrote to his parents and sent picture. Amal was somewhat less communicative and only sent the occasional postcard. Their mother was upset by this and the lack of photos of Amal in his travels. Her husband consoled her saying "come on! They're twins! They look alike. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

Two Inuit were out fishing in their boat one day and it started to get cold. One of them hit on the idea of starting a fire in the boat, which they did and the boat promptly caught fire and sank, proving you can have your kayak and heat it too.

A man who was an inveterate punster sent a list of gen puns to each of his friends hoping to get a laugh out of some of them. Unfortunately, his friends didn't like puns, so no pun in ten did.

Err, can't have your kayak...

Die in a fire

Too intemse?

Once upon a time in the old west, there was a sleepy dusty town, with one street and an old yellow dog who always lay in that one street. One day the townsfolk got word a vicious gunslinger was on his way so they shuttered up the windows and hid. The town street was empty except the dog. As the gun slinger strode into town he came up to the dog and stopped and instead of going around he said. "Dog. Get out of my way". But the dog was ornery so he just lay there. Then the gunslinger said "dog I've told you once, which is one more time than I tell most people, now get out of my way!" But the dog just lay there, so the gunslinger took out his gun and shot a ring of bullets around the dog. But the dog just lay there. "So the gunslinger said. "For the last time, get out of my way!" But the dog still lay there because it was his street so the gunslinger shot the dog in the foot at which the dog jumped up and ran limping and yelping out of town. The gunslinger watched him run off and headed into the saloon where he terrorized the town for a month. Then one day while the gunslinger was playing poker, the saloon doors flew open and there stood the dog in his Stetson, and this Tony lama boots and his colt 45s in his gun belt and he looked around and said. "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

Reptilian puns:
What do you call an alligator that shows up out of nowhere? An instigator.
What do you call an alligator sporting putting on a fine sleeveless garment for the upper body? An investigator.
What do you call an alligator running around on fire in a courtroom? A litigator.
What do you call an alligator in the water? A navigator.
What do you call an alligator lobbyist in DC? A K-man.
What do you call a thieving alligator? A crookodile.

To be more specific, I suppose those ^ are all crocodilian puns

Why are Diplomacy players emotionally draining friends?

They always need "support"

What do you call a parade of rabbits marching backwards

A receding hare line

If a Force occurs when a Mass undergoes acceleration, is being a Jedi like being Roman Catholic, but... faster?

Who was the shortest man in the bible?

-You might be tempted to think of Zaccheaus, who repented of his corrupt tax collection and returned fourfold what he had stolen, but no....

-If you recall, when the people of God were in captivity in Babylon-and-then-Persia, the cupbearer to King Atartaxes of Persia asked that they be able to return, and led the people back to rebuild the holy temple. The name of this shorter man was, of course, knee-high-miah.

-But even he wasn't the shortest. When Job lost everything but his faith, the book by the same name records the philosophical discussion as to how to deal with suffering. Job's friends gathered around to give commiserate and give him what we find out later was bad advice. One of them was indeed shorter than the rest... Bildad the shoe-height.

What do you call a dermatologist who moonlights as an Uber driver, stuffing his Jaguar full of Uber pool fares to the fascination of all?

A taxidermist.

Three baby goats went into a bahh and asked the bahh man for 3 beers and a whisky,

The bahh man said I cant serve you... your just kids .


( drops mike )

Is a non-productive unit in western Germany a Munich Eunuch?

Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Which president is tops at bridge and spades card games?

Too easy....