(Its a Cannibal Thanksgiving feast. The survivors have gathered in a giant ski lodge near the summit)
Antonio: Is there some reason why we never just went here? This place is amazing. Vualted ceilings, a roaring fire.
Child: Bags of milk duds!
Saurez: A deep freezer full of leftovers! Lets have a dinner party?
Bear: Who would come to a dinner party at the top of a mountain?
(A knock at the door)
Saurez: Oh excellent our guests are here. Its a potluck.
(Opens door)
Chris Mccandless: Heyyyy!
Antonio: Ayyyyy I forgot you were alive! Why havent you been in the flavour?
Chris Mccandless: Im.glad you asked. (Pulling out a dozen bags). Alright alright alright! Heres dinner gents.
Antonio: Okay, Hemlock, Toadstools, Poison Arrow Frogs, Meth, Some salmonella in a jar, a packet of gravy labelled T virus, some battery acid, scorpions, a rusty nail, and an autographed picture of the 1987 New York Jets.
Chris: It took me 5 months to find all this. Enjoy.
Bear: So Uhm, none of thats edible lets just eat the leftovers. Who else is coming?
Saurez: I invited-
(Knock at the door)
Robb Stark: (bends the knee) I have marched my men here from the field of battle. Were wounded and seek your help. We have little food but we can trade you my pledge to marry one of your daughters if youll protect us.
Saurez: Uhm, well, I... guess we have room how many men did you bring?
Robb Stark: Ten Thousand Northmen, we had horses, we butchered them. We took too long making it up the mountain.
Child: You shoulda used the ski lift dumb dumb!
Robb Stark: The North will remember next time there is a ski lift.
(Robb and his soldiers begin setting up camp at the outside of the lodge)
(An hour later)
Bear: Ten Thousand men? How the hell are we gonna feed ten thousand men?
Saurez: I called in some help.
(Knock at the door)
Saruman: My friends. ( He holds out his arms)
Saurez: Ayyyyy
Antonio: Ohhh great, that guy.
Saruman: I see you have new friends. Have you seen the fires in the North?
Bear: Fires?
Saruman: I burned down the Amazon.
Bear: Like the entire Jungle? Why?
Saruman: Because the world of men will burn.
Bear: You know... half orcs need breathe-able air too right..
Saruman: It does not matter. My Uruk hai will taste man flesh tonight.
Saurez: Excellent.
(30 minutes later the room is rowdy. Hundreds are drinking and puking. Uruk hai and Northmen are making out, fornicating. The room smells foul like stale ass. Bear, Antonio and Christopher sit next to Saruman and Robb Stark.)
Chris: Well, uh this is awkward...
Saruman: Silence. I grow weary of you and your lot.
Robb: Where is my mother?
(The rains of castamere begin playing and Saurez arrives with the child at the head of the room. A drunken man lays passed out underneath a table)
Saurez: A toast!
Child: Huzzah!
Saurez: To the king in da Norf!
Child: DA KING IN DA NORF!
(Standing )
Bear: No. WE WERE HERE TO FIND THE SADISTS NONE OF THIS SHIT MATTERS!
Child: SADIIISTS SADISTS EVERYONE LOVES A SADIST.
(The room erupts into violence)
Robb Stark: No wait! STOP the king in da norf demans you stop.
Child: Im da king of the world bitch.
(Leo is on a strecther whimpering in the back)
Leo: Hey... thats my line
(Child pulls out a flamethrower barbequeing leo, robb stark and Antonio)
Balduran has died he was Antonio Banderas a vanilla townie
Bear: Its the child! The child is the murderer-
(Saurez takes a giant bite out of Bear)
Bear: What the fuck Saurez yer a Sadist?
Saurez: Of course!
(Stabs Bear with a valyrian steel blade)
CommanderByron has died he was Grizzly Bear a Vanilla Townie
(The room is a blood bath. Bodies everywhere)
Chris Mccandless: so uhm. Does anyone wanna spare me and we can try these delicious wild potatoes.
(The child dives on Saruman and bites his jugular. The uruk hai are eating the northmen. And saurez picks up a shovel)
Chris Mccandless: I could call us an uber... we could get out of here-
(Chris and Robb are hit by a barrage of crossbow fire from above)
Chris: Hold me Robb
Robb: Mother!
Chris: Noo im Chris from Into the Wild- the guy who died eati-
(Saurez beats Chris to death with a shovel)
Uberarcher has died he was Chris Mccandless the wild townie
The game has ended!
The Mafia has won!
Snowy801 aka as Tad the Evil Ski Instructor and Ezio also known as Felipe the Sadistic Pacifist are survuved by...
RagingIke also known as Saurez the Sadist soccer player and Peterlund the psychotic child have won Mafia XXXVII.
The game has ended, go forth and rejoice in the hills
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Beer battered Cod
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