(Leonardo DiCaprio is barely clinging to life, wrapped in blankets. He is pale and has lost a lot of blood. Juan, Poncho, Roy and Antonio are huddled together by a fire theyve built inside the wrecked fuelselage)
Antonio: Is this safe? I thought you could only burn fires outdoors.
Juan: Ay
Roy: It seems like a bad idea but Saurez insisted its too cold out there. He left to gather wood hours ago.
Poncho: So, this is probably a bad time to mention it but uh, somebody dumped out all the gatorade and smashed all the beer. And Um, I found broken old jars of urine.
(Child enters the broken plane waving hs hands as smoke fills the cabin)
Child: someone stole my jars of special cider.
Poncho: Piss
Child: Cider! I was gonna make some hooch.
Poncho: Urine doesnt become hooch. Its urine. It stays urine.
Juan: Aye yay Yay
Roy: Enough! I am pretty sure the sadists are trying to make us desperate. Destroying all our beverages?
Poncho: Not all of them...
Roy: What is left!?
Poncho: Water. Bottled water, distilled water, even the sparkling water. And someone saved a huge tub of coleslaw.
(The door to the plane opens yet again as Bobby enters carrying a keg)
Poncho: Bobby! Thank god you saved the beer!
Bobby: Nope. I destroyed the beer, I dumped out the gatorade and I threw out that old Cider.
Child: See! I told you it was fermenting
Roy: Fermented Urine...(Coughs)
(Bear enters carrying a bucket of coleslaw)
Bear: Guys, yall are literally gonna die in here from smoke inhalation holy god! Oh and I found some coleslaw. Anybody hungry?
(Saurez enters combing his greasy hair)
Saurez: Ehhh whats up bitches! Wow, pretty smoky in here.
Juan: Ayyyy
Poncho: Ehhhh
Saurez: So I got some bad news. I caught Juan jerking off in the coleslaw.
Bobby: Juan... thats disgusting is this true?
Juan: Ay...
(Everyone looks at each other puzzled)
Saurez: Nothing to say in your defense EHH? Only a sadist would unload in the coleslaw.
Bear: Coleslaw is already gross enough!
Child: I ate three bowls of it! It was delicious!
Saurez: Alright Juan, do you have anything else to say?
(Bear begins playing the piano)
Juan: what do you Juana know?
Saurez: Did you kill Yeti?
Juan: Naw
Saurez: Did you try the slaw?
Juan: Yaw
Saurez: Are you a sadist? Did you do this? (Points at Leo who is near death)
Juan: I ate the people but nuffin like dis.
Saurez: What about Doug? What do you say?
Juan: Nay.
Saurez: Ive heard enough, this man is a sadist! Theres no other explanation. I propose we kill him without hesitation
(Saurez shoves juan onto the burning trash fire)
Juan: Ay AYYYY AY AYAYAYA BURNING
Saurez: Dinner is served gents!
Roy: Do we have any sides?
Bear: We got that coleslaw!
Poncho: Ehh okay what the hell. Were eating him anyway why not.
Bozotheclown has died he was Juan the 'say little' townie