Lying to kids is a good thing, says Tom Bombadil.

Clearly you operate on a grossly different set of moral principles than I do. I find you vulgar and offensive. I'm done with this converstion NOT because I can't counter your arguments (as you have already caved and agreed to most of what I have said) but because you repulse me. The idea that "lying to kids for their own good" is a principle you agree to makes you not worth my time.

whatevsies

And I didn't cave. I agreed with many parts of your arguments before we started. But good try.

@spyman: "I have taken my fair share of mind altering drugs in my youth" And you aren't addicted? I thought all mind-altering drugs were very addictive, except for marijuana, but perhaps I've been misinformed?

Conservative Man. No I'm am not nor have ever been addicted. Drugs affect people differently. For example, some people don't get anything from cigarettes and they don't become addicted, while others seem to appalling addicted. I have read that nicotine has almost no effect on some people. Same goes for caffeine. For most of us it keeps us awake, but some people can drink coffee late at night and have no trouble going to sleep.
For some people the more drugs/alcohol they consume the more they want to consume. Back in the day, I was the opposite. If had a particularly hedonistic weekend, I would usually not touch anything for weeks. It wasn't will power either. I just had no interest - in fact the opposite. The thought of consuming anything was repulsive to me. (BTW please don't get the idea I was Hunter S Thompson - I wasn't by any means. But let's just say I have experimented).
But I have known people who developed terrible addictions to just about anything they get their hands on. But I think these people are missing something in their brain chemistry - they are wired for addiction.
And of course some drugs are not addictive - at least not in the sense of causing the user to develop a physical dependance.

"I am not arguing that pot is more dangerous than perscription drugs and alcohol but those are a separate problem. I'm only pointing out the dangers of pot. I think it can be used safely, but kids don't need to know that until they are mature enough to fully understand it. "

I can see the point you are making Tom - and in some respects it is a good point. One trouble though with misleading kids about the dangers of drugs (that is exaggerating or being very selective with the facts) is that when they find out that it wasn't as bad as they had been led to believe, this makes them very skeptical about anything adults tell them about drugs.
I know when I was a kid - as far as my parents were concerned - pot was heroin (at least just as bad). When I found out that this was not true, it made my parents advice and opinions less credible.

Spyman makes the exact same point I made. ta daaa!

Hundy Blunts & Brew thangs.

Wow, all I have to say is:

If alcohol wasn't good for you, then why would people drink it?

@King Atom: Drugs aren't very good for you, yet people still do them........

@everyone: I just discovered the source of my fearfulness: My mom. My church youth group is going to this place in Sacramento with a bunch of trampoline arenas, but my mom won't let me go because she considers trampolines to be 'dangerous'. And really, my whole entire life, she's implanted fears into me, calling this and that 'dangerous'.

If you don't believe Trampolines to be dangerous, explain that to her. Parents usually want their kids to be happy. So explain how happy this trip can make you.

Unless of course you also fear your mother, which many people do.

@youradhere now I am giving people advice on the internet lol. I loved that comment.

It isn't your Mom that's the problem...it's your church. They are the one's that instilled fear into your Mom. Church's *thrive* on fear...

"my mom won't let me go because she considers trampolines to be 'dangerous'. And really, my whole entire life, she's implanted fears into me, calling this and that 'dangerous'. "

Some parents are too cautious and over protective. This can be damaging, especially if it leads to children feeling anxious all the time.

Ask yourself how many times your church told you to be bold and brave and enjoy life. Then ask yourself how many things the church has listed off to you as evil, as things that are sinful and evil and will bring you harm and the savage suffering of the lake of fire!

You Mother, no doubt, is a devout Christian. Unfortunately, most archaic forms of Christianity are extremely oppressive and backwards thinking...

<--- Recovering Christian, by the way. Saw the light. Can't stand the hypocrisy!

@CM - Posting threads on the WebDip Forum is VERY DANGEROUS for you, and potentially harmful to others.

Reading all of this has caused me GREAT DISTRESS.

God would be ANGRY with you for seeking advice from strangers on the internet rather than from HIM.

I fear for your immortal soul, if you ever post on this Forum again.

May God have mercy upon you.

I want to convince my mom to let me go, but she said that I 'absolutely cannot convince her'.

@ all on pot use

There are several recent studies linking cannabis use to mental illnesses, stating "There is substantial evidence to suggest that cannabis may induce or exacerbate symptoms of certain mental illnesses."

http://docsdrive.com/pdfs/ansinet/ijp/2010/796-807.pdf

The correlation isn't that good yet, but more studies are being conducted.

Another study says that youth usage of marijuana causes an earlier onset of mental illnesses.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41464598/ns/health-mental_health/t/pot-linked-earlier-onset-mental-illness/

Another article to reinforce that
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/45/7/2.short

but none of my friends have thus far had problems with it, though myself I don't partake. Still, I believe the researchers.

@CM Abge is giving good advice. Tackle one problem at a time, and if possible in private. But not all of them can be done in private. I had a friend in boy scouts, and we went caving (spelunking) up in the Adirondacks when we about your age. When we were down there, there was this 4 foot long....chasm... that we had to cross. Below it just sloped down and down, and our guide wedged himself halfway across the opening, and told us to step on his foot to cross. Well, my one friend, Tom, was deathly afraid of heights, but he had to suck it up or be left alone in a cave, so he eventually - after much swearing - crossed. It may be that you have to wait until a moment such as that to get over your experiences.

As to some of your emotional issues, I have a controversial idea on how to get over your fear of rejection (by women). Go on chatroullete. Preferably with a friend doing the same so you can both have a laugh....actually, just don't do it alone haha. Anyways, ignore the penises, and find some girls, and try to talk to them. You will almost always be "next" 'ed. This isn't rejection per se, just a reflection of the site's nature - quick conversation - but may be able to normalize the feeling. I don't know how much it would work, though. It may even cause more harm than good. Thoughts from the rest of the community?

chatroullete is now just one giant phallice, not worth it :P

@Gold, one to add to your list of studies...
I haven't looked into the nitty gritty of this study but it has an interesting hypothesis - Interest in psychoactive drugs can be linked to IQ. Sounds a little silly but, then again, a lot of studies do.
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2010/11/smart-people-do-more-drugs-because-of-evolution/18539/

"I have a controversial idea on how to get over your fear of rejection (by women). Go on chatroullete."

That's actually not a terrible idea. However, I have a better one. Make it a point to talk to 10 complete strangers each day for a month. Preferably women.

As you do this, it will become easier and easier...and you'll have done it in a setting that isn't putting pressure on yourself. All you are doing is being friendly, after all.

After 30 days, you should have no problem starting a conversation with anyone. So when the girl you like walks by...viola!

Your welcome. :)

As long as the kid goes to college he'll be fine. He's probably always going to be timid, but as long as he gets some experiences beyond his Mom and youth group it will all be ok.

Also, trampolines, like alcohol, are very dangerous and very fun. Many things in life are like that.

I really wouldn't sweat the fact that he's awkward around girls. Most guys that age (or any age) are. Isn't that what the alcohol is for?

+1 Darwyn. Sound advice.

Alcohol at 15 or 16, SuperSteve? Really? Read this study. You might change your mind about that assessment.

http://www.actforyouth.net/resources/rf/rf_brain_0502.pdf

@Darwyn: When am I going to have time to meet 10 girls a day? I don't have much time to talk when I'm hurrying between classes, you know.

One suggestion for Conservative Man - have your mom read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge (Good Christian Author)

One of its premises is that men need danger/adventure to be fulfilled. My own philosophy is that this danger needs to be channeled into positive things (Trampolining, white water canoeing etc)

One of the things that I don't understand about some Christians like Conservative Man's mother is there worry about physical danger. If they really believe in eternal life, what is wrong with death? (There is the scripture verse about not worrying about things that can harm the body, only those things that can harm the soul).

I would worry about drug abuse as it is a danger that can harm the soul. I would not worry about Trampolining as that could only harm the body.

"Unless of course you also fear your mother, which many people do."

many people fear Conservative man's mother, well state the obvious why don't you?

"There is substantial evidence to suggest that cannabis may induce or exacerbate symptoms of certain mental illnesses." - yes, the research i read, and my friends searched for, seemed to suggest that young users developed mental illness - the effect of cannabis on the developing brain is different from the effect on the adult brain - no real surprise there... but still very interesting.

"When am I going to have time to meet 10 girls a day?"

You posted here for advice and people are giving it. You are free to choose who to listen to and who to ignore. but to answer your question...MAKE time. Don't ask me how, cuz I don't know.

And also (I wasn't even going to mention this, but now it sounds like you need it), I noticed you responded to one of abgemachts very thoughtful suggestions to find a therapist yourself with "I feel that it's something better left for a parent to do. "

That's crap! You need to learn that there are things you need to do on your own if you want to get them done. The shit on your ass isn't going to wipe itself and Mommy isn't going to be around forever.

My advice to you now is to STOP making excuses for yourself and your mom!

Do you even *want* to change? The excuses sound like you don't.

So what you *really* need to do is assess your fears and decide if you actually *want* to do something about them.

You've received some very good advice here. It would be wise to not let it go to waste.

another +1 to Darwyn

"but to answer your question...MAKE time" I just don't have the time. I'm gonna have a ton of homework this year because I'm taking some hard classes. The best I'd really be able to do is meeting 1 new girl a day on average.

"You need to learn that there are things you need to do on your own if you want to get them done."
I said it was something better left for a parent to do because I didn't think it was something I could do correctly, not because I didn't feel like doing it myself.

"Do you even *want* to change?"
Yes I want to change, but I have asperger's syndrome, and one of the symptoms of aspergers is resistance to any sort of change. Hell, I didn't want to start showering everyday because that was a big change.

Thanks for your advice, but you really should know more about a person before giving advice, though that is partially my fault for not saying enough about myself.