Sorry about these multiple postings, been following through the pages.
"But I have modded over situations on other sites and always error on the side of caution - in this case that would be to give the player until less than a couple of hours were left in the turn to respond to me, not pause it with a full half day (1/3 the phase) left. "
Erring on the side of caution is to pause the game, then unpause it if the person disagrees, since in this case all that happens is the game is delayed a few hours rather than possibly wrecked if a phase had cycled. I really don't think your argument holds up about "this makes someone a target".
case 1: We pause the game & they disagree. So, we unpause it. Thus everyone else knows they opposed the pause [and you claim will then attack them].
case 2: We ask them why they're not pausing & they don't respond, but continue to play the game. Thus everyone knows they opposed the pause [and you claim will attack them].
case 3: We stay out of it, and so people are left to decide if the player hasn't noticed or merely chose to ignore. If they continue to play the game then it is very easy for any other player to ask why they haven't paused, at which point it will become clear that they oppose the pause [and you say everyone will attack them].
case 4: They don't respond, and don't play on. In that case they're set to NMR and pausing the game would be in their interests.
My point is, once it reaches a 6-1 position, the last person cannot disguise their view if they continue to play the game.
As I've recently mentioned, I've done this many times, and have only once been sent an email complaining about it (at which point I unpaused the game and all went on fine). So, to be honest, I really don't think this is anywhere near as much of an issue as you're trying to imply.
Also, as Abge said, whenever we do something to a game that might not be immediately clear, we explain what we're doing and why into the global tab, allowing those involved to understand.