Did you hear about the guy that was walking down the street when he turned into a drug store?

For some anti-humor:

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is destroying his family.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
They both have handlebars. Except the duck doesn't.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
To keep their pants up.

Knock knock
Who's there?
The Gestapo.

Who is Mike Jones?
No one cares.

What do you get when you cross France and Russia?
You don't get jack squat! But, Germany gets a two-front war!

That last one is rather diplomatic wouldn't you say

These three religious congregation leaders meet at convention in Vegas (A funny concept in itself). The discussion turns to how they decide how much of the money collect to use for 'God's work.'
The first one says that he draws a circle at the office and he throws the money up and what lands in the circle he uses.
The second one says that he draws a triangle and what falls outside of the triangle is used.
The last one says he does not draw a circle or a triangle, but he throws the money up and whatever God wants He keeps, all the rest he keeps.

"What do you get when you cross France and Russia?
You don't get jack squat! But, Germany gets a two-front war!"

That's awesome.

whats red orange and yellow and looks great on cops
















fire

I should've expected that one....

hohoho my heart is warmed

I can provide visual aides if need be.

Are you sure you're not the joker you talk more like him every day lol

Thanks, Thucydides. Now every time Sicarius posts, I'm going to hear Heath Ledger.

For some, the joker is Heathe Ledger, for other's, it's Cesar Romero, but for me Jack will always be the best Joker. The 60s Adam West Batman was way to camp, not serious enough and, while I liked Heath Ledger, I just think Jack was the best.

So how about you all?

I hate to jump on the bandwagon but heath fucking nailed it.

dont get it thucy.
oh great book by the way

I agree Heath was great. In fact, no one else his age could have played it as well as he, but I still like Jacks witicisms and his deliveries were just so perfect. It really is hard ot place one over the other.

Ledger did it incredibly well. Of course, in Batman Begins and Dark Knight, they made Batman human instead of THE GODDAMN BATMAN, but in a lot of ways that's a good thing.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

seems like each successive joker is more evil than the last. next time he'll be sucking fetus juice as he bombs orphanges and rapes old men

how many squatter kids does it take to change a lightbulb?




"you have electricity in our squat?!?!"

Wow, Sicarius, the cops joke made me laugh out loud while hating myself for it. Well done.

Ledger then Nicholson. Close call, but Ledger had a more evil sense of humor. Great villian ... or was he the hero? Sicarius?

why are you asking me? because heath says in the movie he's an anarchist?
no he is a villian not a hero, and also not an anarchist

how many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?








they dont, they just beat the room for being dark

Oh my :P

whats black and gray and looks good on 1000 cops










world trade centers

Here is one for you Sicarius

Q: How many anarcho-primitivists does it take to change a lightbulb?




A- Why would they change it? They deliberately broke the thing in the first place as part of their attempt to destroy the oppressive, technological mega-machine we live under.

haha thats good

hey how many vegans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




I'm better than you

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb.














Infinity, they all get sad about not being able to reach it and how hard their life is because the world is so dark and go kill themselves...

Four blondes are at a table in a bar. They have something on
the table in front of them as they each throw back a shot of bourbon and yell...62 days!!!!

The bartender is mystified as their waitress comes back to the bar and orders another 4 shots.

"What are they doing?" he asks the waitress.
"Celebrating I guess" she replies
"Celebrating what?" he asks
"Damned if I know" as she takes them the four shots.

They each grab the glasses, lift them high, and scream 62 days!!! as they throw them back and order another round. This
goes on for some time before the bartender can't stand it any
longer and has to see what's going on.

As he approaches the table he sees a childs jigsaw puzzle that has six large pieces to it of Bert and Ernie. When he asks one of the blondes what their celebrating she says...

"Well, you know how people are always putting down blondes
for being stupid? So we bought this puzzle to prove them wrong. It plainly said "two to four years" on the package but we solved it in 62 days! Wooo!

a fascist a bigot and a politician walk into a bar. the bar then explodes because of a gas leak, killing them all, along with all the aryan brotherhood members already in the bar

cosmic justice

I lol'd.