Not really a pun but this has never failed me.

"I can solve a Rubik's cube in under a minute, so I guess you could say I'm pretty nifty with my fingers."

4 for 4 success rate of usage resulting in me getting a date. Sad thing is, I'm 100% being serious about this.

If they're quite stylish.

Did you get that dress in the sale?
Yes/ No...
Because if it was at my place it would be 100% off.

And for the nerdier kind.

Did you just use a confundus charm on me, or are you always this mind blowing.
Harry potter lines, don't all need to be sleazy wand related jokes...

Be creative :)

If you're feeling brave.....


Is your father in Prison
no..
Because if I was your father, I would be.

That is creepy...

(don't use that one)

Are you dreaming of a White Christmas/winter? (if YES then) Go brush your teeth!

Use this as a last resort if you are getting near the "WARNING" level. Did someone turn up the heat? 'Cause you're lookin' hot!

And if you want a whole lot of puns go on youtube and watch all the last 30 seconds of all the CNN Student News episodes.

Why do schoolgirls always walk in odd numbers. Because they can't even.

Girl, are you library book? 'Cuz I'm checkin' you out.

Yo momma so fat, I would encourage her to develop a rigorous diet and exercise plan in order to avert serious complications to her health including (but not limited to) heart, liver and lung problems stemming from her obesity.

Are you a pokémon? Because I choose you!

And from Dave Kroll: Seth Rogen is so Jewish, [pause for emphasis] [take deep breath, smile, suppress laughter, prepare to continue].

Do you know what the difference is between a blowjob and a ham sandwich?

Wanna grab some lunch.

Do you have a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

I see +1s all around but not a story OP. Which one(s) did you use? Also will you be needing more?

I used to be a baker. I needed the dough.

I used to be a doctor, but I didn't have enough patience.

Lets play bingo

@mintyboy how far did you get after the date ?

Alright so follow-up:
I started with a few cheesy ones to get things started. Worked like a charm. I used the putin one and a few of my own. Then I progressively got dirtier. I ended with the keg pants and she responds 'omg you're so perverted'
Blah blah blah second base blah blah
sorry no bj so I've only liked my favorites

Pics?

All I have is a poorly done drawing, does that count?

Depends, what did you draw?

A fire truck :)

I don't think that counts. It would have if it was a motorboat though.

Corny pickup line: Were you born in a cornfield, because you have nice ears.

@HangedMan ...Were you born in Oklahoma? Lol. I heard someone actually say this once.... Given it was a nerd but ya know. Still awful. "If you were a fire hydrant I would pee on you". I cracked up so much at that. Then he pulled out the "Are you going through an exothermic reaction? Because your atoms seemed to have increased in energy". (Which she actually got surprisingly because it took me few Google searches to kinda get it.)

The coral was very stressed. He was overly concerned with current events.

She was only the photographer's daughter, but at least she was well developed.