ninja :D

drat, too late :|. I feel stupid

Presumably it doesn't actually matter what the subject matter is. What interests me is why the notion that 75% of people might agree with this opinion rather than 50% is a problem. Why does it matter how many people agree or disagree with your opinion. Your opinion is your opinion. Other people are irrelevant.

Millioms of people can hold an opinion and still be measurably wrong.

Of course i'm entitled to hold the opinion that their opinion is wrong... They might disagree. If 75% of people agree with me, so what? As Utom says...

It sounds like you are trying to be different. The fact that you doubt your opinion now that you know the majority of people share your opinion makes me think that you are more or less trying to find a way to be different, even subconsciously.

Note that my opinion wavered when I found out that the majority held the SAME opinion as me, not the other opinion. That's what is really weird.

That was in reply to Utom and orathaic. Tom read my original (and admittedly confusing) post correctly.

@Tom: That may be true, but it doesn't really feel like that.

I just thought of an interesting theory that might explain this: I used to (a few years ago) hold an opinion on this subject that is even more extreme, which very few people (maybe 5%) agree with. So on this subject I am kind of used to thinking that the majority is wrong, so when I found out what the majority believes about this, I began to think that they must be wrong too. Does that make sense?

@CM, i can read. But the same answer applies, why does it matter if everyone agrees with you? That neither supports nor damages the correctness of the opinion, it shouldn't matter; unless it is meta- ie influenced directly by the people who hold it... (like to take an obvious example you could think that certain brand of shoes will make you stand out, but if 75% of people hold this opinion and buy the same shoes...)

That kind of makes sense. But I still think you are just trying to separate yourself from the crowd by holding a minority opinion. I've also noticed that people who aren't super socially often do this as it gives them conversation material, as they can talk about their unique (or at least minority) opinion.

That makes sense, but it also sounds like a rationalization. Are you making stuff up to suit your conclusions??

Also as for the topic, is it sex before marriage? And thus if 75% of people think it is ok then they are likely to spread disease and thus it is less ok???

@Ora: Close. It's about casual sex. The extreme position I used to hold a few years ago was that premarital sex is wrong, but I don't hold that position anymore. This is about whether or not casual sex is a good idea (not necessarily right or wrong, as I don't believe it is wrong). So I will now make a longer comment, redetailing the whole problem without being ambiguous.

lol. Maybe it's just that you want to be a rebel. I would examine the underlying emotional connotations for your decision, and if you really get stuck, try asking God for help. He knows the answer. :-)

Ah... did you once hold the opinion that you were a complete waste of space and took comfort when people disagreed. You then changed your opinion to thinking you're just a bit of a tit and have realised in horror that most of your friends and family agree?

Going to need a few more hints, methinks.

So, basically I was thinking that casual sex is fine, and would be a good option for me in college if I was in between relationships. I sometimes doubted whether it was really a good idea, but I knew that I could change my mind later, once I'm in college and no longer a virgin, and when I actually know first-hand the emotional affects of sex. And I thought changing my mind would be easy, because I thought about 50% of people were for and 50% against casual sex, approximately. So changing my mind wouldn't require going from the majority to the minority or vice-versa. But then everything changed.

My friend showed me this article, which talks about how 70-75% of the athletes at the olympic village engage in random hookups and casual sex for pretty much the whole olympics. I found this rather shocking. I mean, I knew that the athletes were having sex, but I was greatly surprised by the frequency of the casual sex (about twice a day per person on average), as well as the amount who took part, and by the athletes openness in discussing this topic (as well as general openness; apparently a lot of the athletes were doing outside in the open in the olympic village). Then, when I read the comments section, the vast majority were defending the olympians. The most common comment was along the lines of, "whats the easiest sport to become an olympian in?" Of course they weren't really serious, but they were serious about wishing they could take part in all that. And I was shocked by the vast amount of support. It just felt kind of wrong. The minority who disagreed with what the olympians were doing were attacked by everyone else, being called "prudes" and "virgins". And I was really shocked by that too. So my opinion changed and I thought of casual sex as very very wrong. I began to search for stuff about casual sex online, and I found plenty of support for it, but not much condemning it. This served to distress me further.

After I had cooled down a bit and returned to rational thought, my opinion was somewhere in the middle. I still wanted casual sex, because obviously it would feel good, and it would help me satisfy my desires in the future if I'm in between relationships in college and beyond (much better than the masturbation and porn that I use now), but at the same time it seemed like a very bad idea. Sex (so I've heard) is full of emotions and stuff, and the thought of having sex with someone you don't have an emotional connection with just doesn't feel right.

@mujus: yes I have asked God for help. Now, I'm assuming you disagree with me about my opinion that premarital sex is not sinful, but maybe not. I know I'm not the only Christian that believes that, but I'm definitely in the minority.

CM: if you've asked God for help and you suddenly feel very distressed by the idea of casual sex, maybe you've got your answer from God.
If you want to make a fully informed decision, I suggest you inform your Christian values with a bit of Bible study on the topic, and from a more academic angle maybe look up some statitics on the long-term effects of pre-marital sex vs. waiting until marriage. That way you're dealing with source material form your faith background and some solid stats instead of the opinions of people who may or may not be very informed, or wise, or mature.

@FlemGem: I asked God after the feelings of distress, not before.

Plus, in the case of pre-marital sex, I believe my decision is fully informed. I see no reason logically or biblically why it would be sinful.

Here is my thoughts. You were freaked out, not by the casual sex, but by the openness of the sex and the extreme casualness. I am going to put some thoughts in your mouth so they may be wrong, forgive me if they are. You thought that casual sex was okay in the sense that you meet a girl in Bio 101 and she is cute, you are study partners and both get along well and you find her attractive. It might be nice to hook up with her now and again, and maybe you have one or two other casual friends thatyou engage in sex with, on a semi regular basis. Let's say once a month for each of them. What you don't think is okay is sleeping with a different girl every night. You think it demeans you or her (I am not sure which in your case), and you felt like your idea were equivalent to this extreme casual sex olympian style.

@smc: That is a very interesting idea. That very well might be possible.

@cm - this would have been a better thread if you hadn't detailed what the problem was. Other posters have already expressed the view that it shouldn't matter at all what anybody else thinks and which opinion carries the support of a majority.

Perhaps you should step away from the actual problem/example that you give and try to resolve what you would do in other circumstances. You should also accept That ones opinions do change overtime and that is perfectly normal, one shouldn't therefore dismiss something because you once thought it wasn't true.

As an example do you believe in GM foods. It maybe that you believe strongly it will help feed the world, or you may think it is playing God and no good will come of it. it is perfectly possible to change your own opinion from either of these positions overtime, but ask yourself WHY you would change. If you discovered 75% of people shared your view would you switch opinions? What if 75% took the contra view, would you then switch views? Answering these kind of questions maY help you resolve your dilemma.

I still think that you didn't change your mind about sex so much as the degree to which it was done. I am in a committed relationship now, however, before this I had no problem with casual sex. I too would be a little hesitant to go having sex in between buildings out in the open. Hell, it sounds fun at first but sex with 2 different girls in the same day every day for a week seems a little extreme. It is like having just a spoonful of every ice cream at ben and jerry's. You'll love some but others will just be eh.

I think it would be like me saying, I am totally for affirmative action, I see no problem with a person getting a +1 on an application because they are a minority, that way if I am equally qualified with a minority they get the job over me. Then I find out that companies and schools are disregarding qualifications completely and hiring/accepting solely on the basis of race. Then I am shocked that 75% of people agree with that idea. I am not going to change my original view, I will just maintain that those extremists are bad.

@smc: You know, the thing is, about that hypothetical girl in your previous post, if we got along well, I wouldn't just want casual sex with her, I'd want to date her. I think that might be another problem I have: If I like a girl enough for casual sex, then why wouldn't i want to date her?

Sometimes casual sex turns into dating.

You give yourself options. You don't have to tie yourself down just because you have sex with someone.

Even, if the example wasn't ideal, I think it was a degree of severity not an issue with the percent of people who believe. At least based on your explanation.

"You don't have to tie yourself down just because you have sex with someone." Thats not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, if I liked the girl, why wouldn't I want to date her, whether or not we had even had sex yet?