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Chairman Mao (340 D)
29 Nov 07 UTC
Gunboat Game
I have just opened a public game called Gunboat Game, after reading from dangermouse's post on his game, I would like to try one too.....same old rules....no diplomacy talking inside at all......
please support
3 replies
Open
figlesquidge (2131 D)
17 Nov 07 UTC
The long long story so far - around 200 posts so far!
Long Long ago, when the world was just recovering from the great apocalyptic nightmare that gave rise to the wonderllama metagaming! It was because no one had thought to ask whether wonderllama was an actual llama. Apparently he was. No one cared.
"Who just farted?" said the inspector, as he danced the can-can happily.
Deciding to investigate Rait's high score, which wasn't high, but not reputation was an inspiration was simply stopped, so he decided to murder on the case "wonderllama" being a llama!
Fortunately for him, it turned out that wonderllama was really Kestas in a pretty sun-dress disguised with a big cowboy hat and a satin Noel Coward Cravatte, which was stolen by an angry dwarf that can't count, who sold it for magic beans and a young whipper-snapper came along and bit his sister in law (she enjoyed it) because she was most certainly not a good nun. In fact , she was actually a woman known for her ability to get men to digest thousands of giant seedless cherries that turn purple in the sun.
However, when they were eaten by even bigger cherries, they caused great distress among the ecclesiastical community. This meant that a apocalyptic nightmare was affecting the world, until Bush resigned. So I said:
"Hey what's up?"
"The llama's here"
"Or is he?"
A plane crashed into the White House some victims were found eating other with tartar sauce. Many people thought but most didn't correctly assign poodles to the newly resigned Gorilla and that's why we need to learn to love and be happy! Anyway, tasty teddy bears are always gummy, and full of that special sauce that makes children sometimes violently explode in the most spontaneous and random clothing. Meanwhile, in Vienna, their tarts were caught sniffing the newly discovered crisp mini S and being arrested for flagrant disregard and recklessly ignoring the toxic smell.
Figlesquidge just discovered (I think a Nobel Prize for Literature may be on the corner) Noodlebug can't count.
Someone once said, "Long ago, when the earth was pink. The wonderlama was found drunk whilst driving a stolen pink camper-van into eclectic nightmares that didn't need a banjo to make them terrifying". Suddenly, he abdomen did nothing unexpected, merely digested food.
The wonderllama said, "Strike a light, because I'm bored."
At the same time, a dark illegal poodle cartel, so dark that light got scared and dropped the macrowave converter in the open exhaust port decided Poodle Soup was the best at making no one happy so had fish instead. What a shame, he almost died, missing his next reincarnation and causing a global crisis over the amount of microwave popcorn companies missing poodles.
Alternatively, one could argue that Rabbit McNuggets taste disgusting unless seasoned with Pickled Essence of sassafras, with a hint of rosemary and thyme and family jewels. Once digested, these Rabbit McNuggets make you pregnant with little rabbits that, at age 5, aggressively ferment into Rayman Raving Rabbids, with powers that these days are considered too weak for Wii. In Serbia, people despise rabbit McNuggets & don't have rabbit at all.
Meanwhile, TOgilvie thought that phpdiplomacy was stupid, but it wasn't. Quite the opposite; it really was: poodles, poodles and more poodles: Absurd! Or so he ranted. Now why?
"Because he's a llama", said Gobbledydook, "A llama that can't spit is just a camel."
Of course, that wasn't enough for him to excoriate the Wonderllama's hide. Instead he jumped on the legendary Dangermouse for a little
88 replies
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keeper0018 (100 D)
30 Nov 07 UTC
Updating the Adjucator...
Hey everyone-

Has anyone heard anything recently about the updating of the Adjucator? Thanks.
8 replies
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Braveheart (2408 D(S))
01 Dec 07 UTC
Joining private games
I've created a private game... but cannot figure out how my friends can join it/link to it... pls help!
0 replies
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flashman (2274 D(G))
30 Nov 07 UTC
Join this game: Ghengis...
I am in and waiting for serious players. Low cost because of financial difficulties.

Rait wants to join - but he seems to have gone AWOL.

I have dropped hints band clues for the Password but want to stop the metagamers from gate-crashing.

Use your nod and work this one out:

The Mongols were twice defeated in the Far East: who or what was the 'enemy'?

(one word answer...)
7 replies
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VIOLA (1650 D)
30 Nov 07 UTC
The Spanish vol3
New game pot 85, please join it if you are brave players only
2 replies
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Rait (10151 D(S))
30 Nov 07 UTC
Anyone into low rollers game?
... as I obviously can't afford any big bets at the moment. So let's say, 5 DC-s? Only decent players.... playing rather for fun that for points?
19 replies
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gonzo (128 D)
30 Nov 07 UTC
civil disorder?
How long does it take for a country not to be played before it goes into civil disorder?
1 reply
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dangermouse (5551 D)
29 Nov 07 UTC
Prime Example
A prime example of why all losers should get the same point payout at the end of a game.

http://phpdiplomacy.net/board.php?gid=1912
16 replies
Open
skwirL (60 D)
30 Nov 07 UTC
password games...
So I created a password game to try to get some friends to join. However, it skipped through the page talking about how to link them to it too fast for me to read what to do. I link them to the page with the password in the URL or something? Like with a parameter?
i.e. "http://phpdiplomacy.net/board.php?gid=2346&password=whatever"
Plase heelp!
0 replies
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Noodlebug (1812 D)
30 Nov 07 UTC
Medium Rollers game
Bet is 200, so not TOO exclusive, although the good news is Rait can't afford to join..!
3 replies
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WrathOfGod (100 D)
30 Nov 07 UTC
Game for Beginners. To learn and test your skills.
Games. Scourge and ScourgeII. Join.
0 replies
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pitirre (0 DX)
28 Nov 07 UTC
the perfect diplomacy game
it is difficult to get 7 players to play a good diplomacy game but if i get to choose with whom i get to play, here it is the players and the countries they will represent;

england; anibal acevedo vila (the governor of my island. everybody subestimate him just because he is ugly, nerdy looking and kind of delicate ...but always get his way in our little world of politics in PR).

France; me (i tend to do well playing france).

germany; fidel castro (if you ever heard one of his speeches he can go on for 6 hours straight in a speech...just imagine how much diplomacing he can do in a game. very stimulating)

russia; muhammad (it will be interesting to see if he will try to use his past experiences to unite so many tribes in the game).

austria; kissinger (let the master handle this)

italy; cardinal richelieu (another difficult country for a great diplomat).

turkey; bismarck (just to see if he gets nostalgic with austria)

mmmmm, i see myself winning this game with kissinger coming second and england, third.
5 replies
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TOgilvie (845 D)
30 Nov 07 UTC
If you don't support me into venice, I'll smartjason you!
Question: If the verb 'to smartjason' was to be included in the next edition of a popular dictionary, what would be the definition? Points for creativity.

My offer:
to smartjason (v): to take a dump in someone else's shoes in a sly, cat-like manner.
0 replies
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Budlight (201 D)
23 Nov 07 UTC
Gobbledydook has many accounts!!!
I found at least two, Jabberwocky, Gobbledydook...

More to be found!!!
30 replies
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arthurmklo (879 D)
27 Nov 07 UTC
Taking the argument of Smart Jason to a different level
We know he is a multi accounter, and of course there are others who also are multi accounters, but how on Earth that Mr Smart Jason still have the pride to blame (not accuse, since they really are...but have repented) other people for having multi accounters?
I am getting very annoyed by this kind of behaviour (blaming the others committing the same crime as yourself and saying that you are pretty much innocent?!)
Nothing could be done for this sinner now, he is beyond repent. (FUBAR-ed, military slang, check it out)Let him blabber on, and just as Karkand had said “Smart Jason, may thou name ring diplomaticly shameful forever”
5 replies
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Wombat (722 D)
29 Nov 07 UTC
Smart Jason has X no. of accts!!!
to mimic his thread about Gobbledydook.. here's one for him.

Smart Jason has many accounts! Emoduke, chairmanmao, ngsuenluen, garvilo princip, budlight, (the one and "only") smart jason, russianroulette...

explain this chimp
2 replies
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Chairman Mao (340 D)
27 Nov 07 UTC
New Game "To be happy..."
New Game "To be happy..."
(http://phpdiplomacy.net/board.php?gid=2317)

under password protection, and to solve it, one must find out who said the following phrase:
"A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?"

format of password: fullname with no space
(e.g. if it is David Beckham, password would be davidbeckham)

hope that quality people may join, and this i think is intelligent enough to keep off the smart kid around here....
13 replies
Open
jk1974 (100 D)
29 Nov 07 UTC
bug in ...
hello guys, take a look at the situation in this game

http://www.phpdiplomacy.net/board.php?gid=2112

we restarted our moves recently after the database slowness, and i think there must be an error, i had to disband my fleet in bulgaria (south coast since i'm italy !!!) instead of retairing it into greece which is free ... that would cost me maybe other two scs...

1 reply
Open
Wombat (722 D)
28 Nov 07 UTC
Join this Game- "Smart Jason Sucks"
This is the game you've been waiting for- a game named after the famous idiot himself.

Bet 95 a nice relatively spicy one.

(Hey Smartjason- prove your worth)
5 replies
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Razz (144 D)
29 Nov 07 UTC
Perpetual phase: due now
<a href="http://phpdiplomacy.net/board.php?gid=2155">This game</a> has been stuck for >24 hours. Is it possible to kickstart it?
0 replies
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mapleleaf (0 DX)
29 Nov 07 UTC
Canadian Host game is starting in half an hour...
...and we need two more players. Help!
0 replies
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Noodlebug (1812 D)
28 Nov 07 UTC
Greatest Diplomacy Player Shortlist
You've all seen how it works on IMDB - each poster adds +1 and -1 to the candidates of their choice, any reaching zero are removed until there is only one left. Normally they start on 10 but for quickness we'll start everyone on 5!

5 Alexander (Macedonian Leader)
5 Bismarck (Prussian Statesman)
5 Caeser (Roman Leader)
5 Fouche (French Revolutionary)
5 Ghenghis Khan (Mongolian Leader)
5 Khalid ibn al-Walīd (Arabic General)
5 Machiavelli (Florentine Statesman)
5 Metternich (Austrian Statesman)
5 Napolean (French Leader)
5 Tallyrand (French Statesman)
97 replies
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Piglet (107 D)
28 Nov 07 UTC
Question on giving Convoy Orders.
I'm afraid these are very noob-ish questions, but I've been struggling to work out the answers, and I don't really want to muck it up as it could be relatively game-critical if I do.

So... What is the exact set of orders I need to give (as in, for both for the fleet and the army) in order to convoy an army overseas?

How about for a multiple convoy (convoying an army via two fleets)?

Thanks for bearing with me..
2 replies
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Zxylon (0 DX)
29 Nov 07 UTC
Capitalism Sucks
Join the game. No password. 50 Points
0 replies
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jjjj (0 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
Help?
I'm new to the site - how do I join games?
9 replies
Open
RaisedByWolves (116 D)
28 Nov 07 UTC
Seeing other counties' orders.
It is very important to see other countries orders after each turn.

I see that there is a feature-in-development to have all the orders "visualized" on the map whether they were successful or not. Could there also be just an old fashioned list of the other countries' orders after each turn? In addition to being in a format more traditional to digest, it would be probably be easier to implement. Maybe we could even get it sooner.
2 replies
Open
flashman (2274 D(G))
25 Nov 07 UTC
History question: Who could have been the greatest Diplomacy player of all time?
I shall exclude such verbal wizards as Saruman & Wormtongue... I am interested in real people - in as far as we can know much about them.

I am not sure myself how I would vote on this, but I'll start the ball rolling with an easy one and see where this goes:

Let me make a case for France's Charles de Gaulle...

Reduced to having no SCs of his own early in WWII, he fled to England and managed to gain sufficient support to not only get back into France but also lead his own forces there, soon becoming leader of a re-unified France himself... Then, in true Diplomacy style, he spent the rest of his life blocking, frustrating and generally bouncing England out of just about anything going. A true master of the backstab. England still has problems with the EC because of rules and alliances established during the de Gaulle years.

The only blot on his record was his attempt to push the USA out as well. His comment that he wanted all American soldiers out of France (said after the war) was countered brilliantly by the US President who retorted with the now legendary question: "The dead ones as well?"

Okay, he's sitting in pole position: knock him off.
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fastspawn (1625 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
ummm... deGaulle had the tacit support of England/Allies by default. It would have fallen into the lap of the next highest ranking French General if not he.

A really great diplomacy player would be Genghis Khan. I think you guys are well read enough to know how he started off, and what he ended up with both by war and by uniting different warring tribes.
Vampiero (3525 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
I mean Genghis Khan is a very, very solid pick. i could suggest either Napoleon or Alexander the Great.
-the first was a person of no nobility, who took advantage of the meritocracy during the french revolution to eventually reach general. therefore a gifted warman.
-then tricked the french people by reverting their revolution back to a Monarchy with him at the top. therefore a brilliant diplomat.
-his eventual downfall by losing the war against russia**
although Napoleon defeated the russian armies, one of the Tsars aids suggest they burn Moscow!!!!(ridiculous i know) so that the invading french army doesnt have any food or shelter. and they did that, and the french army, tired and hungry had to march to france through the winter. and most died.

-alexander the great on the other hand was bread by his dad with teachers like aristotle to make him into a intellectual, and military man. he eventually became an amazing Leader (with a capital L), because he mapped out amazing battle plans and would always lead the battle from the front on his horse, and never from the back like alot of other generals do. he also gave many inspirational speaches to his men. and conquered half of asia before he turned back, his army being unable to handle the exotic, and overwhelming weapon the indians had (elephants). he died of causes still being debated today, and months before his already planned invasion of arabia.
Vampiero (3525 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
but i forgot to add at the end, i still like Genghis Khan the most.
flashman (2274 D(G))
25 Nov 07 UTC
I thought about Genghis, but always viewed him as more of a ruthless conqueror than a diplomat. The famous statement (attributed to him) about how that the greatest pleasure in life was to kill one's enemies, take their wives etc... has a nice ring about it but doesn't sound like a man who is trying to trick his way into Trieste.

Mind you, having read some books about him fairly recently (esp the one by John Man), I would add that he was obviously very good at gaining support in his early days. Perhaps he would be the best player for Germany and take three SCs in the first year...

Anyway, it looks like Ghengis/Temuchin has taken the lead...
Shugyosha (126 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
I agree with fastspawn: Genghis Khan would have made quite a good diplomacy player. But I would also add another name to the pool in relationship to his success in comparison to the "known world" of his time:
Alexander the Great
Shugyosha (126 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
hmm... I should not start a posting and then get lost in reading details about Alexander the Great.. In the meantime my posting might be obsolete. :)
Vampiero (3525 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
i thought about that but hannibals military GENIUS is generally limited to 3 battles against the romans. after he was defeated, his attempt to lead a macedonian army later failed. and as a far as diplomacy goes, i would even put him far below Caesar
Tucobenedicto (100 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
No one's going to make a case for Hitler?
Tucobenedicto (100 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
Say what you will about him, but I think exploiting Chamberlain's spinelessness as a statesman makes him a formidable diplomat.
Nick Douglas (408 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
Hitler? Every Diplomacy player knows to stick to one front, and only a beginner stabs his ally so prematurely.
anlari (8640 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
What of Roosevelt?

Using the Second World War to have an industrial boom over selling arms to allies, not getting in the war until it was sure that Britain and France would not be in any state to compete against him later on, and drowning them in debts afterwards.

I won't even talk of brilliant engineering of Pearl Harbour to get the public opinion against Japan.
alamothe (3367 D(B))
25 Nov 07 UTC
george w. bush :-)
figlesquidge (2131 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
Hanibal: Military genius, diplomatic nightmare. The Romans defeated him by refusing to fight, which lead to him getting impatient and accepting a battle he should not have taken.
Hitler: good in the openings, then got cocky and stabbed too early.
Bush: Clever manipulation of Britain (and i'm British) has provided the required support for the capture of Afghanistan and Iraq.

Im currently thinking of Rupert Murdock as a less obvious possibility - with his media empire he can almost cause a revolt...
kestasjk (64 DMod(P))
25 Nov 07 UTC
Kissenger and Kennedy played Diplomacy, it was Kennedy's favorite game, and I expect they'd be pretty good at it
flashman (2274 D(G))
25 Nov 07 UTC
Yeah, I was told that Kissinger played Diplomacy in the White House during the dark days of Watergate...
Wombat (722 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
This is totally irrelevant, but Mongolia rocks and so I vote for Genghis
Chairman Mao (340 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
well..that is relavant.....Mr. Wombat, i know that you are a mongolian and you are a patriot.
What about Mikhail Gorbachev? What do you all think?
pitirre (0 DX)
25 Nov 07 UTC
Khālid ibn al-Walīd !!!

more than 100 battles...undefeated!!!! and ALWAYS agaisnt more stronger armies and alliances. In less than 3 years he defeated 2 great empires.

great tactician ...and considering that he always fought under difficult circumstances and agaisnt bigger and stronger empires and alliances.
Noodlebug (1812 D)
25 Nov 07 UTC
I propose Henry II. He didn't have the military resources or genius of Alexander or Ghenghis but still had the political guile to built the largest empire since Charlemagne, and used his limited resources skilfully to defeat all his rivals, one by one (except possibly his wife!).
I reckon his skills are more transferable to the Diplomacy board than the other candidates mentioned. You could say the same about Machiavelli, he didn't have an empire at all but I still wouldn't want to face him as a Diplomacy opponent!
flashman (2274 D(G))
25 Nov 07 UTC
Ah, "the Prince" himself...

Yes, that's a very good call, as is Henry II.

Definitely not the up-coming Henry IX though ;)

flashman (2274 D(G))
25 Nov 07 UTC
Oh, and I'll have to read up on Khalid ibn al-Walid (forgive my lack of accents)... One I have clearly missed out on.
bihary (2782 D(S))
26 Nov 07 UTC
My obvious choice is Otto von Bismarck.
"As long as five great powers decide the fate of Europe, Germany has to stick with two of them".
When talking to the diplomats of quarrelling Balkan states he said: "Sirs, you either do what I say, or I leave you alone among yourselves."
LucusVonLucus (1551 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
Many of these were great military commanders but I would have to agree with bihary, Bismark is the greatest diplomat the world has ever seen. He united Germany and played the rest of Europe perfectly. If he hadn't been sacked by the ungrateful (and unstable) son of the man he united Germany under there very well might not have been a world war 1 or at least its composition would have been considerably different.
pitirre (0 DX)
26 Nov 07 UTC
bismark? if you want unification, what about Muhammad?

this man unified a bunch of tribes and his legacy went to create a great empire very quickly.
figlesquidge (2131 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
I think a lot of people are mixing up diplomatic and military genius.
A great diplomacy player sets up battles which he cannot fail to win, where his forces are superior to the enemy's. Great generals like Hannibal fought battles which were weighted against them, and won.
Locke (1846 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
Charles Talleyrand, he was a hugely successful French Diplomat during napoleons time...an aristocrat that survived the revolution and became the French Foreign minister and hailed as the greatest diplomat of his age. Eventually became the first Prime Minister of france.
Locke (1846 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
Oh and if not Talleyrand then surely Bismark?
dangermouse (5551 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
Military genius is certainly secondary in this discussion, but I don't think it's irrelevant. It would equate to guessing an opponent's moves and use the knowledge effectively against them. That's an important skill in the game, but forging alliances where it doesn't matter if the opponent knows what you're moves are is even more important.
diegohb (470 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
Sun Tzu.
melbourne (100 D)
26 Nov 07 UTC
What about Elizabeth I? Keeping a balance of suitors in train, favouring this or that when diplomatic support was needed. Balancing the demands of religious factions in her own country. Milking the whole "Virgin queen" thing...

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70 replies
El_Perro_Artero (707 D)
23 Nov 07 UTC
Can we help fix this?
"There is a problem with the phpDiplomacy.net database server which is causing slowness and internal server errors." -Kesdas (I think)

This site is currently being hosted by DreamHost Web Hosting.
Maybe it is time to switch to a new host?

Is there anything that we can do to help?
7 replies
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Chairman Mao (340 D)
27 Nov 07 UTC
7 days soon gone
Well, for my games, the 7 days extension is almost to an end, with the games just a maximum of 2 days away..........yet i think there might be those who have forgotted the deadline and cannot make their moves in time....so if you know any of them, call them back, its back on business
0 replies
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