Very unsportsmanlike conduct

[Maltir]

Playing a game and apparently my moves were lazy and stupid which makes me really stupid. This person posted it over Global chat no less:

NOT serious France...
That's exactly what I explained to you. That was really stupid.
I think that's something lazy, because you can not be that stupid if we look at your whole game.....

Very unsportsmanlike and it makes me feel unwelcome here. Can I get any help from the mods?

[Claesar]

Email us at [email protected]

But keep in mind that none of this is against our rules. We'd like you to feel welcome, but a lot is fair in love and war. I would generally advise to mute people if you don't want to read their drivel.

[MajorMitchell]

Sorry Maltir, but on the basis of what is displayed above my advice is "toughen up". I bit of verbal/written criticism has to be expected. For example, I think that I am quite entitled to describe Peregrine Falcon as a bloody-minded obstinate blockhead with regard to the sc Liverpool in a particular game & Peregrine Falcon is, I think entitled to ( & he has) respond in a similar manner with equivalent descriptions of my good self.

[gjdip]

I agree with MajorMitchell, Maltir. This is part and parcel of playing this game. Some people like your moves, some don't, some people express their feelings, some don't.

[SirThursday]

This use of the global chat is a cheap tactic to get particular people to change their approach via public shaming when they can't diplom well enough or are frustrated because their solo attempt just got blocked. It may appear to be abuse, but it's more proper to think of it as a desperation move. You are welcome here, but that doesn't guarantee a totally amicable environment from every player. Welcome to the internet. But there are plenty of people here who are more cooperative, or who become despondent when they lose, so keep playing and finding the new folks

[Yigg]

Dear Maltir,

I preface this by saying that I very much want you to feel welcome here, and I would go so far as to say that everyone else who's responded to you so far would share that sentiment. The prevailing commentary seems to also share the overall theme that some players are rude, and we simply have to accept that. And there is merit to that. I've always believed that Diplomacy is an emotionally charged game, and the best and worst of us comes to the surface at times during games. Not all the time, and not all players. But know that there are players who are tremendously good sports and are a joy to play with. I count myself blessed to have played with many of them.

All of that said, I also believe that our beloved game can also be one of dispassionate calculation. I find this perspective especially useful in exactly the kind of situation that you find yourself in currently. In a game, if a player issues this kind of press to me, I wait. I wait for my emotional response to subside and issue no press of my own (yet). I then look at what they said. Are they simply mad at my moves and are venting publicly at me? Well, you can't issue a logical response to an emotional statement. It's two different languages and it'll get you nowhere arguing with them. So instead use that opportunity to find other like-minded countries who might also find that press distasteful and perhaps leverage that into a new friendship/alliance. Maybe it won't work, but it doesn't hurt to try. Besides, if the player is just yelling at you, it's likely that relationship is burned anyways. Time to get new allies! But what if the response isn't just an angry rant? Is the insulting press trying to get you to react in a way that player wants? Bait you into a war you're not ready for, or take your attention away from someone else. Or are they venting publicly to get the attention of other players and convince them to ally against you? Who is the real target of the message? If you can figure that out and respond accordingly, it's like diffusing a bomb before it goes off. That's some deeper level press analysis, sure. But it can help you determine if there's a purpose behind the press, or if it's just some dude raging at you. Either way, you can use it in game.

I hope you find this helpful, and I truly do hope that you get some game experiences that make you feel welcome here. To that end, if you ever feel at the end of your rope with your games, I would encourage you to reach out to me. I would be more than happy to work with you to find games full of good sport.

Sincerely,
Yigg

[MajorMitchell]

Good posts by Sir Thomas ( bravely ran away he did brave, bold Sir Robin) & Yigg imho. They put a similar message to mine but more diplomatically and pointed out some opportunities that arise when another player goes over the top a bit in the ranting caper.
Some players play better when they get revved up, but most, imho play worse

[SirThursday]

Good posts by Sir Thomas ( bravely ran away he did brave, bold Sir Robin) & Yigg imho. They put a similar message to mine but more diplomatically and pointed out some opportunities that arise when another player goes over the top a bit in the ranting caper.
Some players play better when they get revved up, but most, imho play worse

Major, my name is "Thursday" and I will thank you to get it right

[MajorMitchell]

On the next occasion I need to, I will try to use correct nomenclature. I apologise for any unintended discomfiture on your part, SirThirsty, darn script auto correcting software that most probably caused the original error,, .. SirThursday..

[Hummussexual]

egg

[Tugster]

sometimes, rudeness itself is used as tactic, to provoke certain moves and reactions, taunting a player, etc, all fair. Unless rudeness falls into racism, sexual comments, or directed at you in real life, etc, then it's all part of the game.

[swordsman3003]

I personally use extreme levels of rudeness when I think it will get the results that I want. Examples of times when this is tactically useful:

* You want to scare someone into thinking that you will really throw the game if they don't do as you ask. Players who go bananas when they don't get their way seem like they really will throw the game. If you are gracious about losing, your rivals may not give it a second thought. I have secured many draws this way.

* You want to wear someone down emotionally so that they will do as you ask (such as vote draw, or whittle down the draw). If they already refuse to do as you ask, and there's nothing else you can imagine yourself trying to get from this person, you aren't risking or losing anything by alienating them. Some players can't take the pressure and will eventually give in if you are relentless.

* You want to bait someone into attacking you. Yes, there are times when that is useful in Diplomacy, as in any war. If you directly ask someone to attack you, they will investigate why it is against their interest to do so. But if you just irritate them, they may not think as hard about why you are being so malicious. (This one probably only makes sense with draw-size scoring)

[Claesar]

I personally use extreme levels of rudeness when I think it will get the results that I want. Examples of times when this is tactically useful:
...

I need to work on this. Nobody ever believes I'll throw, so I end up doing it (which is obviously not the desired outcome).

[purevital]

I've both received and used the "if you try to attack me I'll fend you off while letting <another player> take my centers" threat before. But I've never seen it actually be carried out.

I have seen the "I'll help you win as long as you let me survive" a few times though.

[Senlac]

“* You want to wear someone down emotionally so that they will do as you ask (such as vote draw, or whittle down the draw). If they already refuse to do as you ask, and there's nothing else you can imagine yourself trying to get from this person, you aren't risking or losing anything by alienating them. Some players can't take the pressure and will eventually give in if you are relentless.“

I can vouch for the success of this. In a reasonably serious competitive contest I witnessed a high ranking player simply abandon a game & surrender, because he felt he was not getting sufficient respect & constant ridicule. Took a while, but when he quit I was amazed it had actually worked.

[Yigg]

I find the psychology involved in press tactics to be endlessly fascinating. When you break it down, that psychological and communications element is at the core of the game (save gunboat). What you say, how you say it, and when are all means to an end. Entering your press is just as important as entering your moves.

Speaking for myself, I've tried the explicitly rude angle as a tactic a number of times. It doesn't work very well for me. I'm generally a rather polite person, so my press attempts to be rude feel fake. At any rate, they're not very successful. For me, my personality is reflected in my press and simply being myself feels far more genuine. This serves me pretty well, as it's easier on me because all I have to do is be myself. Now this doesn't mean I don't keep my Chainsaw oiled and ready. I'm more than willing to tear into somebody when the Chainsaw is called for. But that's a very specific tool for a very specific task. And when I do, my style is typically focused on facts, logical conclusions, and peppered with some subtle humor at the intended's expense. And if I have to be insulting, it's always directed at the behavior (either their press or moves) and never the person themselves. And that usually works very well for me, especially when the Chainsaw press is actually aimed at other players instead of the press target.

At the end of the day, as long as no rules regarding specifically inflammatory press are broken, it's all fair game. And the critical part of rude press is understanding how you react to it. Because believe me, if the other player has figured that out, then you're really in trouble. Sun Tzu and all that, you know?

[Wusti]

Toughen up Princess. When monkeys throw their shit at you - throw it right back with Rocks hidden in it!

[dyager_nh]

I show them who us boss by eating the thrown poop.

[Tugster]

All good posts. It's an absolute fact that taunting and rudeness is one of many press tactics that can be effectively employed (or can backfire). There are many press tactics that can work, if employed effectively. Cooperation, politeness, suggested actions, convincing, logical reasoning, silence, ignoring, rudeness, taunting, insulting, even acting like a totally irrational maniac has its uses, especially if others believe that you are actually indeed an irrational maniac. All have their time and place, all can work, and all can backfire, it's the nature of the beast. The only things that are specifically prohibited, and rightly so, are racism, sexual crap, and real life outside the game stuff. Those are over the line of accepted conduct and in violation of the site rules and should be, obviously.