Sorry, ignore me.

Have the decency to talk to her in person. Why the hell are you in a long-distance relationship anyway?

she lives in canada... honestly.

Talk to her in person, don't be a douche, 420 drink alcohol erryday

But seriously don't be a douche

hope that helps

Yeah - I'm an insecure little shit who needs advice from a bunch of guys (whose tenuous connection to me is that they like to play a board-game that I like), and I have absolutely no interpersonal ability... Please tell me how to break up with my 'girl-friend' because I can't stand not being the centre of attention and she is interested in other people's cock. Not that I can prove that, but I am pretty sure she needs dumping because I just don't know how to deal with the opposite sex.

GROW THE FUCK UP!

You're not gonna do it in person?

Dude, the fuck

If you can't see her in person, you should call her. "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore." That's all you really need to say. If she asks you why, just tell her you're no longer happy being in a relationship with her. Do not tell her about what she did wrong, even if she asks, or even that she did anything wrong at all. "I don't want to be with you. I'm not happy being with you." Some variation thereof, and that's it. If you want to remain friends with her, tell her as much, but emphasize that you think it would be better for both of you if you don't communicate with one another for some time (because it will be better for both of you if you don't communicate for some time).

I'm assuming you're still fond of this girl to some degree, since if you didn't give two fucks about her then breaking up with her would not be very difficult at all.

Bo, I'd suggest pointedly not talking to her until she goes away, but that only really works when she cheats on you while surrounded by mutual friends and none of them tell you except the guy who just came out as gay because she was hooking up with his crush and he couldn't keep the emotions in anymore.
</ghugsnewyearsrant>

I'm surprised by the amount of aggressive dickish comments you've received here; I agree largely with YHN, you need to try and tell her gently that unfortunately it's just not working out/you don't want to be with her anymore, and not to blame it on her. I would probably try not to explain it (like they always want), because the truth often makes things harder. Also I wouldn't bring up the distance (assuming that it was always long-distance or been that way for a while).

You should probably do it over the phone if you're not going to practically be able to see her - not because it is really what either of you want - but because it's what she's going to say she wants and everyone will paint you as a dick if you don't do it like that - just life.

Oh, and if she thinks you're all lovey-dovey with each other right now if you can send subtle signals that it might be coming that will probably make it easier. Hope this helps.

ghug - sounds like you had an interesting new years...

If she's been meta gaming then I'd send her a stiffly worded email Lang the lines of ' stop meta gaming please otherwise I might have to ban you' if she doesn't respond ban her (not replying to emails is against the relationship rules) if she says she hasn't been meta gaming then believe her and try to move on. In future please do not post meta gaming accusations in the forum.

It is really hard to say without more information.

But simply saying what you think should be enough. Some of the advice above is good, YHN, what socrates said about making it clear things aren't working, because if it comes out of the blue it will be harder (where does that idiom come from?)

And obvious what Maniac said about posting to the forums... Do you thino she reads the webdip forums?

The idiom comes from the idea of a sudden bolt of lightning or thunderstorm out of a clear blue sky - a really surprising thing from out of nowhere.

Either she doesn't care about bo either and she'll be fine, or she's one of those poor girls who cares deeply about a little sod who doesn't give a damn, in which case this is the best thing that can happen to her.

Doing it in person is only worth while if you can dedicate time to it. Driving to her, saying "it's over", and driving off again doesn't make it better for anyone.

Just do it. With you attitude of entitlement of late, she will be a hell of a lot better off without you.

My GOD, bo_sox...

I'm quite possibly the most cold and miserable human being here...

And even *I* know whatever the case is with your girlfriend, she deserves better than you planning a break-up online and asking a bunch of total strangers how best to do it as if it were so inconsequential and impersonal to you...

She deserves BETTER than that, if your relationship has meant anything to you, and even if it hasn't but it's meant something to her--she deserves better than you're currently giving with regards to this shameful action, or lack thereof.

The Christians here believe you have a soul and a man upstairs judging you on your actions and choices during your time here...

And for my fellow atheists and I, your time here is ALL we have to judge you by, so it's extra-precious and if you find yourself sharing a considerable amount of that time and lasting legacy that is the story of your life unfolding on this insignificant speck, it's all the more vital you make the insignificant significant and in an uncaring universe treat someone who cares for you with AT LEAST the same amount of respect and dignity.

So stop Hamlet-izing on some website and behind her back...

And take action already, to her face--I KNOW Skype is free, if you can't meet her in person--and either fix things or else at least let her have proper closure on the matter rather than leave an open wound because you couldn't be bothered to settle your affairs like a man.

the FUCK bo_sox... you act all HIGH AND MIGHTY you LIBERAL hypocrite... but when shit HITS the FAN you cant even do the right thing for your OH SO beloved environment... you should be composting NOT dumping you hypocrite...

@obi - She deserves better than bo_sox. But then so do we. :-)

SD & YHN - Stop being so touchy touchy. A break up is a break up. Nothing good happens from this, no matter how 'nice' you approach the issue. Oh 'tell her gently' WHAT? that you fuckin hate her guts and don't want to see her ever again? Or are you saying that you tell her 'gently' that you don't want to ever see her face again... but if she put a bag over her head you just might...

Again. Why the fuck are these issues even being raised here??? Are we so divorced from asking our real-life friends for advice that we need to ask strangers as to how breakup with the opposite sex? Or has the divide between real-life and the internet-personality become so blurred that we think it is ok to ask total strangers about how to do the basics...

HEY - Anyone out there happen to know how to cook an egg? I have 6 in my fridge, but I'm hoping someone can give me a recipe before I eat them uncooked and vomit them into my shower.

WTF??? Why give these dickheads the time of day???

What did bo sox do lately to earn such scorn? This may be an internet forum, but at least he is trying to get some advice. I mean sure it could be entirely selfish because he wants to make it easier on himself, but without jumping to conclusions i don't know, we might just as easily assume he is trying to spare her feelings.

Regardless i don't think it is sad asking here; this group of gamers may be largely male but we've got a wide range of experience, different cultural backgrounds, ages, religions. (even if i get the feeligs we do largely represent a tiny fraction of humanity - being largely white, male, 16 - 48, i'm betting at least that this desrcibe the majority of webdippers, oh and english speaking...)

What better group to ask? Most of his friends are probably his own age with little expierence of similar... Plus the answers here will come from self-selected 'gurus' l, those people who feel they can actually answer the question.

Still some of us (obiwan-esque is a word right?) may have more to write than bo sox's original opening post... (myself included)

@kaner - I believe the correct method is to freeze them in liquid nitrogen and then slice then thinly and put them on. Slice of whole meal bread and grill them. Voila, egg on toast. Stay tuned for more cooking tips.

"You should probably do it over the phone if you're not going to practically be able to see her"

Just to be clear, this does not mean text her.

Just because it is sad no matter what does not mean that you cannot do it in a relatively decent way to make things easier. And although so far I have avoided talking abou personal issues on here (either leaving them alone or talking to people that I'm good friends with), I see nothing wrong with asking on here, it is, after all, a community, and many of us try and be helpful and nice to the others that are part of our virtual community. Also with asking on here you avoid the possible problems of being judged by people you have to maintain contact with or said person telling someone you know personally.

Questions like your egg one are particularly appropriate for here I think, it's the kind of thing people search up on the internet, and here you can somewhat personally judge the value of the advice on the person. For academic matters especially this is a community that is relatively intelligent and a good resource.

Totally agree with Ora's post there in response to kaner

The only reason to "break up" with someone in a long-distance relationship is because you want someone closer-distance. Otherwise what's the harm? It's not like you have the typical complaints that in-person relationiships have - nags too much, to lazy, slob, clean freak, sex frequency dropping, etc.

So assuming that's the case, go for honesty. Tell her the long-distance thing is fine, but you also need to get some on a regular basis and you met this cute girl, who she would probably really like who is willing to be a stand-in for her sexually. But your heart still belongs to her and when she comes to town, you introduce the two of them and hope they like each other ... I mean REALLY like eachother ;-)

And then you become my hero!

@bo

Long distance relationships suck. If there isn't a clear plan in place for you two to eventually live close together, you're probably best ending it. Now that you know you want to break up, it's best to just do it. If she lives so far away that you can't see her in person (for instance, I would *not* fly somewhere just to break up), then do it over the phone or skype.

Also, as I recall, you're in HS, so don't worry too much. You can fuck it up completely and still get away ahead of most teenage relationships.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_aJHJdCHAo

Keep it coming, guys. I already had it figured out, but these reactions are priceless. Makin my day...

Out of interest, bo_sox, why have you decided to end things with her?

Two reasons, though things are more complex than this explanation ... a.) I talk with her in person once every few days and haven't seen her since November and I don't want that in a relationship, and b.) there's other girls around here that I could have a much more intimate and real relationship with beyond talking over Skype or a phone.

I'm also bored but I'm not going to tell her that...

Only boring people get bored.

^ something unintelligent people say because they are easily stimulated.

I sometimes say 'boring people get bored' - but in this case i might get bored with a relationship and not be bored by ending it and finding something interesting... Which may not be tue desired outcome.

@'Keep it coming, guys. I already had it figured out, but these reactions are
priceless. Makin my day...'

Trololololol!

@SD we live in an amazing world. What aspect of it is not stimulating? There is chemistry to think of when eating, and physics to think of during a sunset, and astronomy to think of during the night, and geology to think of on a hike in the mountains. When speaking with dreadfully dull people, there are linguistic values worth noticing and analyzing. When waiting on the lady to finish shopping, there are people to watch and sociology or psychology to ponder.

This is a wonderfully fascinating world in which we live. Only boring people get bored.

I agree, and the world has beauty in itself beyond the various thought processes that it can spark, yet I wasn't meaning random aspects of life that one can take interest in, but rather if one finds themself for a prolonged period of time caught in a mundane exercise that they are not interested in - this could be a job or something else - they will be bored if they are of a truly thoughtful type. Yes they can think about the psychology/economic/moral implications and values surrounding their job as a mcdonalds toilet cleaner (for instance), but they will be thirsting for a career that truly capivates their mind, their intellect. This comparative lack of interest in their current "career" (i put quote marks because i dare say it is not a career really, purely a means to make money), will make them bored when they think of what they are doing compared to what they could be doing.

But I do agree the world is amazing and I did not mean to imply that you were unintelligent.