Wait, Vash, did your girlfriend cheat on you with a close friend too? This is far too common.

@ghug: Was just paraphrasing Barney Stinson from HIMYM.

Oh. That's not nearly as exciting.

No, it isn't.

Who's your daddy...

I DON'T KNOW

Bo, if I have any advice to offer it would be to make your peace with her, get any of your shit that she has back and make a clean break of it. No vengeance, no angry texts, none of that. Just hang out with some friends and try to focus on other things.

If you do choose the revenge route though, I've had a friend who went with option F. Personally satisfying, and I don't think his victim ever found out.

I always try to go with your first option there. I'm nicer than you all know me to be here.

http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-a-Cheating-Girlfriend

Failing that go into his room while he's not there with several kilos of grass seed. Throw the seed around the place liberally, and then hose the apartment down with water. Wait several days and he will have grass growing from everywhere!

I don't really understand cheating with a boyfriend's/girlfriend's close friend. Shouldn't it be easier to end one relationship before moving on to the next if all three parties know each other well? If all three are close it's going to be painful no matter what, but cheating just adds to the pain for all three.

I guess there are some people who want to stay with the person they're cheating on, but if they're cheating with a close friend of the person they're cheating on, how can they hope to keep the cheating secret?

goldfinger0303: Option F is disgusting.

Think that's the point.

bo_sox48: I thought you were just parodying our departed Conservative Man. Is there an element of truth?

Yeah, it is the point. Said friend was blackout drunk at a party when he did it, and three years later we still give him shit for doing it....because, ya know, it's disgusting.

I also thought he was parodying Conservative Man, but unfortunately it appears as though he isn't.

I'm curious what CM is up to these days.

ghug: I get that much.

For someone to get satisfaction from doing that it is because Option F is worse than cheating with a close friend's boyfriend/girlfriend. (Pissing one someone or their food/toothbrush is just about the most degrading thing you can do to someone.) That's a sick mindset. But with the victim not even finding out? That doesn't fit!

on someone

goldfinger0303: I guess the "blackout drunk at a party when he did it" explains why it doesn't fit . . .

http://img3.owned.com/media/images/2/4/5/1/24519/payback_for_a_cheater_540.jpg

About 20 small fresh fish planted in remote corners of his room will go nicely with the grass seed option. - the stink is awful and once you find one of the fish you think you have solved it.... until it doesn't go away. I would also recommend powdered rose hips for spreading on any type of upholstery...makes you itch like mad. Kinda ruins the mood, eh? Ah, the joys of college revenge.

That sucks Bo.

My genuine advice: get better friends and better girlfriends.
(Or, failing the latter, get hotter ones and share)

@Pangloss: "It strikes me as rather petty to seek revenge for what is essentially a high school relationship." Nothing wrong with high school relationships. I started dating my wife in high school 16 years ago.

@Bo: what ghug said - give both of them a chance to say what they have to say - helps with closure ... then go have a drink with friends. Then have a goodnights sleep and take a decision when you wake up: clean cut, or some kind of reconciliation with one or both of them.

Great news. Far better to find out a girl ain't long term material before you become overly committed and make too many sacrifices for the relationship. Also good to know your friend is a git before having to rely on him for something important.

You are a man who has dodged a bullet by diving into a pile of manure. Yeah, the manure is pretty shit, but a bullet's a fuckin bullet!

Option G:
For Her:
Replace birth control tests with fake ones that always show ++
it will freak her out enough to make her consider being less of a tramp
For Him:
Hide excessive amounts of porn around his room and on his labtop, in places which arent readily seen but could be discovered by some bitch wandering around his room.

They're called pregnancy tests, James...

@ JECE: "Pissing on someone or their food/toothbrush is just about the most degrading thing you can do to someone."

Oh dear, JECE, you have such a limited imagination.

you are welcome

@ bo_sox: You have my sympathies, man. Sounds like an upsetting situation but in general I would advise you to be the better man, rise above it, keep your dignity and avoid doing anything petty or angry that you might regret later.

How did you find out about this transgression, by the way? Did one of them fess up?

option B or G bro, join the dark side