A typical conversation:
Christian: Do you believe in God, Jamie?
Me: What?
Christian: Well, do you believe that there is a God, who created the world and everything in it, and who loves us?
Me: Like, do I believe that the world was conjoured out of thin air by some immortal man who lives in the sky and has limitless magic powers? Some kind of invisible wizard?
Christian: No, no, no! That's not what God is, at all! God doesn't live in the sky, he is all around us, like oxygen!
Me: So, "God" isn't a magic man, he's more like an invisible cloud of gas?
Christian: No, no, no! God isn't a gas! God is much ‘bigger’ than us in every sense. So we can never completely describe him or understand him. He is three-in-one. Father, Son and Holy Spirit! He is everywhere and knows everything!
Me: I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.
Hecks: I find it hard to understand how someone could not get the concept of a universal controlling intelligence.
Me: What? You think that's an easy concept? I thought God wasn't supposed to control us anyway, there's that whole "free will" thing Christians go on about. See, even when people try to explain the concept of God to me, their own terms of reference appear to shift as they go on. I just don't get it, sorry.