Really? I like this idea.
Whats the difference between a black guy and a white guy that sell drugs?
-ones a pharmacist and the others a drugdealer
Why do they put cotton in the tops of medication
bottles?
-To remind black people that they were cotton pickeres before they were drug dealers.
What do black people and apples have in common?
-They both look good hanging off trees.
Why were Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder always smiling?
-Because they didn't know they were black.
What do black people and semen have in common?
-Only one in a million work.
Why couldn't the blind black guy read?
-because he was black.
Why are black people so fast?
-All the slow ones are in jail.
What do you call a black guy having sex?
-Rape.
What happened to the black woman that had an abortion?
-Crime stoppers sent her a check for 500 dollars.
What do you call a black priest?
-Holy shit.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
-Neighbor.
Do you remember the black family on the Jetsons?
No?
The future looks pretty good!
Whats the difference between a black jew and a white Jew?
-The black ones have to sit in the back of the gas chamber.
Whats the difference between an African kid and a pair of jeans?
-The jeans only have one fly on it.
Why don't black people listen to country music?
-Because every time they hear the word ho-down, they think one of their sisters are dead.
Whats long and black?
-The unemployment line.
What do people and jelly beans have in common?
-Nobody likes the black ones.
What is the only positive thing about black people?
-HIV
Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza?
-A pizza can feed a family of four.
Whats the difference between a couch and a black guy?
-A couch can support a family of four.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 12 black guys?
-Coach
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."
"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.
"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."
"Why?" asketh the Lord.
"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says,
"Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says,
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Debbie is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie?"
Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says,
"Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together.
"Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter, "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in and we can't send you back...."
Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a couple of days. What d'ya say?"
Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.
However, two days later, St. Peter got a call.
"Pete, Lu. Hey, you gotta come get these three clowns.
This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody,
the Graham guy is saving everybody,
and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning."
Here is the LOST CHAPTER IN GENESIS....
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him,
"What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said,
"This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history..
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Cheap, fast, and silent, gunboat 5 min round(live), please join...
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