Star Wars stories are crap

[brainbomb]

Basically Star Wars over exploded bloated franchise is about 9 movies too large, and has absolutely nothing new or interesting to offer over than trying to fill in more gaps of its grossly uninteresting canon.

I have heard people claim Andor was good and ive never watched it but for real, there was no reason to make acolyte, skeleton crew, ashoka, or any of the horrible prequels. Or any of the even more boring sequels.

Mandolorian is the lone okay addition to the overall star wars franchise, and rogue one for its incredibly nihilist angle.

Otherwise these films dont transcend or offer anything at all. These shows are horrible contrived plots filled with random forced everything.

[brainbomb]

Please stop making this shit and retire this already.

[Esquire Bertissimmo]

I struggle with this.

I grew up with the Prequels (i.e., Episodes I, II, and III) and they were objectively bad movies. The plots were pretty terrible. The dialogue was terrible. Much of the acting was terrible. My parents' generation rightly thought these were a poor follow up to the original trilogy (which, to be fair, were also flawed films overall).

But the Prequels got a few things right in a way that made them very engrossing for me as a kid. The world was imaginative. The characters were simple and easy to follow. The art design was excellent and the visual effects were cutting edge. The music was excellent. The action scenes were top-of-the-line. These movies greatly expanded the variety of Star Wars toys and video games. I spent a lot of time thinking about the characters, stories, and locales in these movies.

So now, decades past the release of Episode III, I view the new trilogy (and associated films and shows) with the same revulsion Boomers had for I, II, and III. They're pretty awful. I have to remind myself that they're not really made for me, but rather for kids today that would see earlier Star Wars films as dated and boring. They're a hook to make cool new video games. And their existence need not take anything away from my enjoyment of the previous instalments, which were anyways not masterpieces.

In some alternative universe maybe Star Wars could have gone the way of Dune and received a meritorious and tasteful refresh. I think the shows in particular have been a missed opportunity to experiment with darker, more adult, and better-written Star Wars stories. I worry that the franchise is squeezing out other Sci Fi innovation that might otherwise fill its place. But if I had movie-watching-aged kids I'd probably still take them to see that latest Star Wars.

[Yigg]

Oh hey, what's up. Listen, I can't really talk right now, I'm right in the middle of doin' my new Star Wars review. We can ta....OH MY GOD! What's WRONG with your FAAAACE!

[brainbomb]

The sequels really were worse than the prequels.

what you felt you were getting in the sequels was promised to be this new exciting story about a character who needs help from familiar faces from the original. It probably is loosely supposed to be based on the jedi academy trilogy but is butchered so badly in how its put together.

instead of a unique story which continues the journey we get the tale of three main characters in poe, rey, and finn who have less backstory than syllables in their names. Who are these people, where did they come from, what is their ambitions, what are they doing.

And after three films they finally answer the question about only one of those three by letting us know the emperor whose death in return of jedi was amazing, is actually somehow this amphibious being who can give birth to random jedi and raise himself from the dead, and conjure entire fleets of star destroyers anytime he wants.

the plot holes in all three movies are just so abundant, like why was the rebel alliance so moronically stupid to allow the first order to rebuild and become all powerful again. why is luke a grizzled old idiot doing nothing whatsoever.

it was all terrible and every moment was like YEEHAW heres another trope, and another character you cared about 40 years ago, along for the ride to help the new characters do some thing!

[brainbomb]

who the hell was snoke? was this like snooki went to the tanning booth a few too many times and became a sith lord>?

[kingofthepirates]

clone wars and rebels were great, full stop. imo, prolly the best part of the verse. I'm very partial to the prequels too tbh, though this may be skewed by my incredible bias to the characters of the prequels. I really love the villains especially, maul (especially what they did with him in rebels), dooku (the drip goes HARD, plus I'm a sucker for unique/different lightsabers), and grevious (robot go brrrrrrrr). mace windu is goated, purple lightsaber diff. sequels are really bad though, though bb8 is cute and the cross hilt lightsaber is creative ig.

For me, the main draw of starwars lies outside the 9 main movies and in the books and other media that build the world ig, and the stories contained in those other forms of media. And those stories are bangers >:3

[Yigg]

Star Wars the Phantom Menace was the most disappointing thing since my son.

[brainbomb]

I dont know how to respond to that. you can pretty much save three hours of your life by just listening to the weird al song the saga begins. tells you all you need to know from that story in a very efficient amount of time

[brainbomb]

I forgot that awful obi wan series they did also where it was just completely ridiculous fake backdoor storytelling that made no sense at all

[CaptainFritz28]

I used to really be into Star Wars. Me and my siblings had plastic lightsabers that we'd beat each other up with, my grandmother made me a Jedi robe for Christmas one year, I loved the idea of all the ships and sci fi fleet warfare, had a bunch of the LEGO sets, etc. Nowadays, perhaps it's just because I am older and don't care for such things as much, but the recent Star Wars media is just boring. Other than Rogue One (and I haven't seen the Mandalorian, so I can't speak for or against that), nothing that Disney has made has been interesting to me. It seems like there is no creativity in the franchise... at least with the prequels you had new ships, new factions, new wars, new problems. The sequel trilogy is just the og trilogy but with worse characters, a worse plot, less struggle, and nothing new.

[Yigg]

Oh man, brainbomb. I don't know if you're missing my reference or not. But if there's anyone else who missed it, too, I just...I just HAVE to let you know.

What you gotta do is go to YouTube and look up Mr.Plinkett Star Wars Review. Start with Episode I. The first review is broken up into 7 parts, because back then YouTube videos could only be 10 minutes long. After that, find and enjoy as much as you care to. My brother, I PROMISE that you will not be disappointed. If I even have a fraction of knowing you, I'm confident that this shit is right up your alley. Allow Mr. Plinkett to channel that rage into something beautiful. You might even get a pizza roll out of it.

Here's the first episode for your viewing pleasure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI

[Esquire Bertissimmo]

The sequels really were worse than the prequels.

Sure, but don't have rose tinted glasses about the prequels. Consider:

The weird proto romance between nearly-toddler orphan Annie and Jr. High-aged Padme.

"How rude" x 7

One villain per movie, none of which had any compelling character (though they were cool to look at)

"Wanna buy some death sticks"

"I hate sand"

The huge epic of the Clone Wars boiled down to like 15 minutes of battle scenes

The Palpatine storyline makes no sense - how did he convince the Jedi to lead a clone army out of nowhere that no one asked for?

The Jedi were mean to me - guess it's time to murder all the younglings

Padme literally dies of a broken heart

Yoda turned out to be Sonic the Hedgehog in his fighting style

[brainbomb]

Why do all the bad guys keep surviving falling down reactor shafts? I just dont understand it

[Octavious]

There are 3 excellent Star Wars films, a selection of books featuring Grand Admiral Thrawn, Mara Jade, and various other characters, a strategy game called Star Wars Supremacy (aka Star Wars Rebellion) and a space combat game called X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter

Nothing else exists.

Nothing

[learnedSloth]

Whenever something becomes popular an industry emerges to pump money out of the fan base. This is the usual outcome.

[kingofthepirates]

One villain per movie, none of which had any compelling character (though they were cool to look at)

Maybe in the movies, but looking into legends and clone wars, they get a lot more (like maul's storyline was legitimately really nice, especially how they spun the 'surviving the reactor fall' part).

Yoda turned out to be Sonic the Hedgehog in his fighting style

That's what makes it great, it's pretty creative and a departure from the norm of lightsaber fights (also why I'm really partial to dooku)

There are 3 excellent Star Wars films, a selection of books featuring Grand Admiral Thrawn, Mara Jade, and various other characters, a strategy game called Star Wars Supremacy (aka Star Wars Rebellion) and a space combat game called X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter

Nothing else exists.

Nothing

knights of the old republic:
clone wars and rebels tv shows:
battlefront II (ESPECIALLY when taking mods into consideration):
the lego star wars games:
(imagine the sponge bob meme here pulling things away)

[Esquire Bertissimmo]

There are 3 excellent Star Wars films, a selection of books featuring Grand Admiral Thrawn, Mara Jade, and various other characters, a strategy game called Star Wars Supremacy (aka Star Wars Rebellion) and a space combat game called X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter

Nothing else exists.

Nothing

KoP mentioned a number of great Star Wars properties beyond the ones you listed here. Other notable video game entries would be Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds (an improved Age of Empires 2 clone), the Jedi Knights series, and the recent Fallen Order games.

However, in my view no spaceship battle simulator—Star Wars or otherwise—has surpassed X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter, which is surprising when you consider it's nearly 30 years old.

[Ernst_Brenner]

There are 3 excellent Star Wars films, a selection of books featuring Grand Admiral Thrawn, Mara Jade, and various other characters, a strategy game called Star Wars Supremacy (aka Star Wars Rebellion) and a space combat game called X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter

Nothing else exists.

Nothing

You don't rate Mandalorian?

[burner]

Did anybody here ever play the Star Wars: Battlefront games (The originals, not the remakes)?

Good times. Battlefront II (2005) is the best game that came out of the franchise. I might even go so far as to say it's one of the better games ever made, but that might be the nostalgia talking.