Daffy MM's Life as Old Age Pensioner in Sunny Antipodes

[MajorMitchell]

In less than 37 days & about 18 years since my Mentor in Hilarity & Mockery alas Died & Went to Purgatory the Wonderful Australian Old Age Pension will be granted to Moi ~ Daffy Old Major~Mitchell & Actor Comedian Dusty Balzac

My Theatrical Agent Rudy Schmeckel has advised me to start a Thread in Our Forum with More Decorum to inform our Webdiplomacy community of my Adventures as an Old Age Pensioner.

Contributions will be needed from members of our Webdiplomacy community so that Fledglings & Whipper-snappers will be given Opportunities to Enrich their Knowledge m by Reading the posts and Contemplating

[MajorMitchell]

I have completed 437 games at Webdiplomacy & have a Reliability Rating ~ 53%
I'm happy with 437 ~ 'tis a Prine Number & 37 plus the imaginary number for the square root of negative one are my two favourite numbers

[MajorMitchell]

Ghost Rating Chart
A Curvaceous Big Dipper Ride

[Octavious]

Scattered pictures
Of the allies left behind
Stabs we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me - Would we? Could we?

Reliability rating of 53%? You're not even reliably unreliable

I trust you don't intend to let your fondness for 437 prevent you from reaching your quintuple century?

[MajorMitchell]

Thank you Octavious, I checked my reliability rating & it's about 56%
Plenty of room to improve with modest efforts it might be thought by rash optimists
The demands of an eccentric old male bachelor artist, actor and comedian are poorly if at all understood by those without relevant experience in my opinion.

[MajorMitchell]

Oops, touched submit
The unique mix of demands for an eccentric old bachelor actor, comedian, artist and political activist are poorly, if at all understood by those without experience at the capers involved in my opinion.

If rashly join too many Webdiplomacy games at the same time, that is, more than one, then chaos in my life causes me to miss orders.

My habit of cruising the open games at Webdiplomacy like a cheap harlots looking for easy Webdiplomacy points induces me to join games playing a country that has no excused turns left to use, because the previous player used them all.

So one slip with orders & bang~out of the game & in the Naughty Corner wearing a Dunces Cap from the Almighty Mods.

Tis part of my Petty existence in this mortal world that should be seen as amusing satire of my life as a whole.
I have accumulated nearly two thousand lovely Webdiplomacy points
I have attempted to have big points games, 1,000.point buy in World games but they failed to get enough rash players to join.

[MajorMitchell]

I am most thankful that Octavious did not use the lyrics of the song Clouds by Joni Mitchell and offend the Clan Mitchell

I have been playing in the XTwitter gabble~sphere a lot in the last six months and recently.
It is a kaleidoscopic maelstrom of Good & Evil.
Pornography, prostitution galore
Extremists in abundance.
With the genuinely decent people

Political Warfare on epic & minuscule scales

[MajorMitchell]

The grotesquely dystopian XTwitter gabble~sphere reminds me of our old forum before it became our Beloved Forum with More Decorum.which gives me comfort knowing this civilised entity exists.

[MajorMitchell]

Two relationships, one of about two years, the other only days into existence from people using XTwitter have had interesting effects on my life.

The longer established exchanges of messages is a professional film industry type of delicato exploration that might be reaching a threshold stage.

The surprising new relationship is with a Vivacious Creative Intelligent Lady who is a fashion designer trapped in a failing nation state under invasion by Fascism, the USA.

This Adorable Lady is trapped in a southern state filled with firearm obsessed racist and sexist peasants who worship Pagan Gods.

As a Defender of Civilisation it is my Noble Duty to Rescue Damsels in Distress trapped in a theatre of War and endangered by BARBARIANS!

Her exquisite beauty and adoration for me are persuasive influences in my actions, far more potent are the fires burning inside my imagination inspired by the potential artistic and fiscal benefits that I will derive from Rescuing this Fashionista of an enchanting All Natural Feminine Gender who Fears Fascism.

The best analogy that I can use for Fledglings and whipper-snappers to describe the tasks involved with catching a Woman in a Romantic Union is to use Horses.

Imagine a lovely young Mare about fifteen hands high with glistening chestnut auburn mane and smooth skin coveringwell toned muscles, fine legs with delicate ankles, both legs of nearly equal proportions and sizes attached to her torso correctly.

Arms, head in correct numbers and attached to her body in traditional mounting positions.

Now her delightful face I will not describe nor her delicate body as young whipper-snappers of the masculine gender might be aroused with lustful thoughts, which I will encourage at another time.

The synopsis of that introduction is that this Lady Fashionista refugee is a wise and experienced apex predator coming into her prime years for breeding, not a naive Pollyanna like virgin.

To be respected and feared as a Formidable Protagonist in a Romantic "two hander" Comedy in real life.

It is Fatal to show any fear to women of this high quality breeding and deadly experience in romance, sex, life and Warfare.

I have been kind and encouraging with my messages to this Lady Lioness because she has Valuable Qualifications and Experience as a Fashionista that make her a suitable candidate for recruitment by an actor.

I need a costume designer, maker and dresser for my career as an actor in films and standup comedian and ordinary refugees are reputed to make excellent servants.

However this Lady Fashionista is not a common, harmless refugee.

Another useful analogy is to treat her recruitment as like allowing a new member join my one actor motorcycle gang.

Miss Lady Fashionista is on her path to becoming a "Nominee Member".

I anticipate that reaching of her Nominee status will occur, if it does occur, in the Antipodean Summer at the end of this year.

Trumptoad and Elon Muskrat crashing the economy in the.USA has delivered to Daffy Old Dusty Balzac actor a potential Dresser of the Feminine gender in most fascinatingly beautiful Fashionista form as a refugee seeking Asylum in Australia.

To seduce this devastatingly charming woman I have given her a vision to greatly desire.
A vision of her standing on Red Carpet at an Australian Film Industry Award ceremony accepting an Award for Best Costume Design and feeling euphoria of acclamation and applause.

To travel by commercial airline flight from the UDA to Sydney in Australia the best departure and return airport in the USA to use is in Las Vegas, Nevada.

The costs of flights to and from Las Vegas are often less expensive than using Los Angeles, San Diego or San Francisco.
Las Vegas and then as second choice, Vancouver & either Canada Air or Qantas.

[MajorMitchell]

I have not yet ascertained the level of skills and experience with firearms of this wonderful Lady Fashionista.
I do hope my Exquisitely Adorable Lady Fashionista will have a sound knowledge of firearms and ammunition, it is part of most children's educational experiences, honed in their teenage.years in the USA.

It would be helpful to know so that I will be able to find suitable firearms as an engagement present.
It's easy to know that the basic essential presents are Emeralds or Rubies, Flowers, and Lingerie.
Choosing the suitable firearms are more difficult to task in my opinion.

[Jamiet99uk]

Have you forgotten to take your medicine again?

[Octavious]

Obviously the firearm of choice for the discerning fashionista apex predator filly-lioness of exquisite proportions would be the magnum carbine. Portable and powerful with a sense of elegance, but without the cruel kick of a rifle. A popular self defence weapon with ladies on the wagon trains in the old West.

Of course all you need to carry to truly impress her is a very large knife and a hat decorated with corks from a year's worth of heavy wine drinking. Hard to achieve these days with the dominance of the screw cap on most wines outside of Portugal, but worth the effort if you want to milk the rugged stereotype for all its worth

[MajorMitchell]

Thank you Octavious.
Fledglings and Whipper-snappers please learn a valuable lesson from.Sage Octavious.
Like Marcus Aurelius giving pragmatic help, dear Octavious has immediately provided excellent advice regarding suitable firearms
A Magnum Handgun for a Lady is comparable to a Christian Dior designed elegantly powerful fashion accessory. It makes a statement of sophisticated danger.
I had been considering a bejewelled Derringer of a smaller calibre, if I could aquire ammunition using depleted uranium instead of lead.

However dear Octavious goes off down a tangential rabbit hole about impressing this Lady Fashionista refugee.
Forgetting perhaps? That I am an actor and comedian, an artist and one of the few intellectuals residing in the Sunny Antipodes.

Octavious does not have a proper understanding of the drinking behaviours of Australians, I would diplomatically remind Octavious that it was Australians who invented the cardboard box with plastic bladder for packaging and marketing wines

Plus the undeniable facts that I drink single malt scotch whisky and there are corks used with bottles of single malt scotch whisky.

Jamiet99uk has disappointed me with his cruel barbed remark.
Now I am a relatively tolerant chap and do.not make hurtful observations about Chaps who emulate Oscar Wilde and are Solicitors.
There were many such Chaps in the First Fifteen Rugby team at the college I attended as a Fledgling and was a Dashing Fly and a Half!
I didn't sneer at or snub these Chaps in the change rooms showers after a match on a muddy field, celebatory slaps on naked, wet posteriors galore!

I had hoped that when I came to the topic of having a bit of cosmetic surgery on my genitalia that Jamiet99uk might offer some helpful tips.
Alas it is disconcerting to think that Jamiet99uk is perhaps envious?
Envious of a certain Lady Fashionista refugee?

[MajorMitchell]

Sunday 1am
Yesterday Saturday was a most interesting day for me.
The 3 hour afternoon zombie film shoot at the Marino Rocks lighthouse Park went well.
One hour make-up then we filmed one scene many times
I lay mostly under a bush in red dirt and the naughty ants discovered my legs were fun to nip after about half an hour

I stuck it out until the "wrap".

Then I used a bit of water to clean my face a little bit.
I drove a short distance to the Seacliffe hockey and tennis centre, stuck into a hockey change room and had a quick free shower to wah myself, sticky fake blood in my beard etc.

Then a slow drive home

1pm make-up call today in a suburban unoccupied home in southern suburbs of Adelaide

[MajorMitchell]

Vexatious internet scammers have targeted me, the blighters!

Alas Miss Honeytrap? is now a possible scammer and does not truly love me and want to marry me?

Arab Muslim man wanting my help to get a Visa to live in Australia!
Trying to use my supposed Christianity and guilt the pathetic clown

Miss Seductress from California posing as a Social Researcher

[MajorMitchell]

Two other sundry internet scammers

[MajorMitchell]

These Arabic tribes, Islamic & Hassidic Arab Zionists do make an old chap.like me think that levelling Gaza might not be enough.
Perhaps it might be better to demolish the entire Middle East, from Turkey to and including South Sudan, the Mediterranean coast to the border of India.

Turn the complete area into ash and rubble with no human survivors.

Fence it off and make it a wildlife park, only agnostic scientists.all I we'd entry?

[MajorMitchell]

Ms Fashionista has been behaving selfishly.
Using a "medical problem" to request money...
Suggesting a high risk internet purchase of dubious bit coins, multiple times

I refused and suggested I use Western Union as there is a Western Union office in North Adelaide I could have used, my preferred choice.

That was rejected by Ms Fashionista

I suggested PayPal that was accepted by Ms Fashionista

She sent me details of a PayPal account for an Alex Wh****r with an email address for this new character in the plot.

I made a US $250 payment but apparently didn't do something & Ms Fashionista wanted me to cancel the bloody transaction

Which I tried but it suggests v contacting recipient of money etc etc etc etc

I sent an email to this Alex W character as the report a problem things wanted using it's link to do that.

Ms Fashionista didn't want me to email this Alex W

With inadequate information, notably a link, I cannot finish the "report a problem" process so that's stalled.

So I said I would send another payment and asked for a different PayPal account to send it to..

Ms Fashionista provided a second PayPal account but still to this Alex W character.
So I sent US $150 with updated information from Ms FASHIONISTA

Then Ms Fashionista does the same stuff, can't get the money, wants me to report a problem at PayPal for this payment

So a second PayPal report a problem is demanded and it's stalled for lack of the link information

So I'm in for US $400 or Australian $670
And have called the bluff of Ms Fashionista and given her a few ultimations and were are fighting!

Our first really good squabble, it's a combined of Grim Hilarity and Horror

[MajorMitchell]

This likely to be engaged to be married caper is bloody demanding stuff.
Our first argument has reached it's zenith of mutual anger and Ms Fashionista repented her harsh treatments of me and adopted a much more conciliatory approach to our disagreements over the money.

I did have a typical Daffy Old MM Dummy Spit and Sulk but did use a false scare tactic that worked well imho

The "I am angry and am going for a very fast ride on my red Ducati at night to cool my temper" message.
Then silence for 12 hours, no replies to her messages.

Being an honourable chap, after the "he'll crash at high speed at night" scare had induced a chastened potential future wife, I have relented incrementally.

We are exchanging much kinder messages now.

Interesting tiny developments with my acting caper.

[MajorMitchell]

18 days & nights until.I face a Romantic Rubicon River.
Score is fifteen thirty, Ms Fashionista serving.
Dusty's two cunning returns of serves have induced an adoring potential future wife.
South Australian Film producer, director Papa B has been working on scripts etc etc for about 3 years for his new film & had many chats with me about this film.

Papa B has secured funding and his film is going to be made.
Papa B has offered me, and I have accepted the paid role of Director of Photography!
It's a prime role, DoP and all actors are but grist to the mill of a DoP.
A Casting Couch trimmed in plush crimson velvet & NDAs are now tools of my trade.
Ms Fashionista has been awed by my new role as an emergent DoP

I actually need an increased income, I have discovered that having a future wife is a damnably expensive hobby.
Emeralds on.gold chains, an emerald and diamond infested engagement ring are relatively affordable, it's the prices of Honeymoon Pyjamas that is an Outrage in my opinion.

I'm having doubts, although a .45 Magnum is a superb present, I am tempted to add a Winchester .45 / 70 rifle so Ms Fashionista has a sporting chance of defeating my disgruntled mistresses and their offspring