To answer your first question, the short answer is because I felt hopeless, didn't believe that I would live. The votes against me, at least those that have been explained, were gut/meta reads. Bona because I'm more jovial. You because I'm less confident. I can't push back against something like that in an instant. I convince you by how I play the rest of the game. It doesn't help that I don't have any mechanical info to work with.
I don't have a good answer to your second question. I remember the thought crossing my mind with roughly 5 minutes less, but I didn't get further than I blank message.
In terms of reads:
Likely town: you (kgray) and Bob.
Lean town: Bona, Donny, bb, and ghug. Donny is the person on this list who I remember the least of, but reading his iso he has asked a lot of good questions. This night he has done a better job turning those questions into statements which I like and hope to see more of.
Lean town/don't want to kill yet: Bunny, Damo, and Vecna. I've separated these out because while I lean them town for now, the value of the reasons will fall off later on. Vecna is here because of the value of town Vecna and I think his behavior tonight shows confidence. Bunny and Damo are the town non-VT claims. This gives them some credit, but given the set-up far less than it would in previous games.
Shade town: HR.
Null: Most everyone else. Of people of note, I think Jasnah is worth watching because she has been insightful on some points though her behavior is generally anti-town.
Shade scum: Maniac and Ezio for their poorly justified votes at the end. Jasnah and Damo also fit that description, but I think Jasnah has contributed slightly more than either of them and damo has claimed non-VT.