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My Rose has left me
I’m in a mood
She’s gone to Kenya
With the bloke from Allied Carpets.

She wasn’t immunised
That’s a legal requirement
She’s increasingly slapdash
Since we bought that new hearth rug.

My Rose has left me
I'm in a mood
She went to Kenya
With the bloke from Allied Carpets.

We couldn’t have children
That didn't stop us from trying
We were turned down for adoption
Because of her bizarre appearance.

Oh, Rose how we loved you
But where are you now?
Alone with your salesman
You adulterous cow.

Is this a poem of your own creation or one you found?

It is a song by the popular duo, Mulligan and O'Hare

Jamie is clearly in nostalgic mood. If we're really lucky we might get treated to the chicken song next

Other hits from the Titty Biscuits era would come first.