I woke up on the wrong side of the bed :(

[MajorMitchell]

Crikey, if sharp teeth are a symptom of vampirism then, in a moment of panic I wondered what illness is connected to the symptom of a sharp tongue ? ..and this was the alarming thought.. is my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors lying on a sofa eating cakes (with delicately gnashing fangs) suffering from an infection/infestation linked to a similar type of illness ? Were~Wolfism ?
There are days when I wonder if Her Beautiful Serene Imperiousness Indoors has mistakenly consumed a bowl of razor blades for breakfast.

As far as beds & the awakening in or out of them goes, I'm always relieved if after waking I'm in or near my marital bed & there's no one present who shouldn't be present. Then I'm usually optimistic about my circumstances.
If I wake and the marital bed is nowhere in sight, then as long as the other occupant of my marital bed is also nowhere in sight then I am inclined to be optimistic about my circumstances.
Is the bed half full or half empty ? To be in a bed or not to be ?